Disclaimer: Square's characters not mine. No harm was done to any living creature, except the author, in the the creation of this fic.
Warnings: Sap, slight silliness, shounen ai (eeewww), foul language, slight violence, some OOC-ness (but mostly IC...), author-torture, smart-ass author, tongue-in-cheek humor (both in the text above and below. smirk>)...
C-CC&C welcome (Candy-coated Comments &
REVIEW, please!!! I won't continue unless I get 69 Reviews, or 42, shrug> whichever comes first.
Please, no flames, or I'll cry. All flames will
be returned with a hamster to love you and snuggle you until you aren't
True Love's Kiss
by Lady Tempest
A soft breeze wisped through the partially open window, whistling faintly over the space between polished stone and ornate glass. The fading sun cast a warm yellow glow, the red and blue hearts and roses of the stained-glass window bleeding lavender and faded on the thick pale blue carpet.
A fire crackled in the iron-wrought fireplace, it's own warm glow in counterpoint to the sun's. Angelo lay contentedly by the fire, his chin resting on his paws, the white patches of his fur shining golden, the darker seeming to drink in the light.
Facing the fire, Rinoa cuddled against Squall on a plush sofa of pale blue velvet. Her powder blue duster trailed along her leg, blending with the upholstery as she snuggled closer against his shoulder, the soft silk of his blue shirt brushing her cheek.
"Oh, Squall. I love you so much," she sighed, squeezing his hand, their fingers entwined on his lap, the black leather cool to the touch.
"I love you too, Rinoa," Squall said against her dark hair, his gray-blue eyes staring into the fire.
She smiled, gazing up at him with affection. "You're so brave and strong and handsome and...Hey, are you wearing eyeliner?"
Squall shrugged slowly, still staring into the fire.
"Anyway, I love you Squall."
"I love you too, Rinoa." Golden flames danced and glittered amongst the blue-gray.
"This is nice," she sighed again, rubbing her cheek against his shoulder. "It's such a lovely evening and the fire is so pretty and warm."
"Do you think I'm pretty?" She batted her eyelashes.
The flame flickered, like on quivering glass. "You're beautiful, Rinoa," Squall said. "Like a spring day when the cherry blossoms flutter on a warm breeze."
Her chocolate eyes melted into a dreamy smile. "Oh, my Lion, my Heart, you say such beautiful things."
"You're beautiful, Rinoa," he said. "I merely speak the truth humbly in eternal awe."
She giggled. "Kiss me, my darling Knight?"
Without a word, he turned from staring at the crackling fire and leaned down, touching his lips to hers in a kiss. She fell into the kiss, clutching their entwined hands to her heart. She was in heaven. And she was his angel, and he was her knight. Nothing could make the moment more special. More perfect. More precious. It was bliss. Enveloping and total. Nothing could spoil it.
Suddenly, the door burst open with a booming crack of wood slamming against stone. Gray trenchcoat sweeping about him like a knight's cloak, Seifer stepped into the room, bent over, chest heaving with labored breath.
"Fuck, Ri', get a fucking elevator. Those stairs are murder," Seifer grunted, bracing himself against the doorframe.
Angelo lifted his head, sniffing, then with a doggy equivalent of a shrug, returned to his warm, fireside nap.
"Seifer!" Rinoa yelped and jumped up from the sofa and the warmth of Squall's arms.
"Who else is this absolutely handsome?" he smirked between catching his breath, running a black gloved hand through his sweat-damp golden hair.
"What are you doing here?" Her dark eyes were wide but twitched nervously.
"Heh. Why do you think?"
"Well, we were enjoying a nice romantic evening. Alone."
"I noticed," Seifer chuckled darkly, taking a deep breath as he stood straight, looming over the dark-haired girl even from across the room.
Rinoa shivered, and rubbed her arms for warmth. "...And you're being rude interrupting," she added defiantly, her hands on her hips.
Her pouty lips twisted into a tight, irritated scowl. "Squally-poo, tell him to go away."
Seifer rolled his aqua eyes. "Oh, for crying out loud!"
"Certainly, my love." Squall rose slowly from the sofa and approached Seifer. "Go away."
Seifer lifted a blond brow then shook his head dismissively. "No can do, Squally-poo," he chuckled, but his blue eyes were somber. "I'm not leaving without getting what I came for."
"I'm not going with you, Seifer," Rinoa insisted with a pitying tone. "I know you're still in love with me, but I love Squall. Not you. And Squall loves me! Right Squall?"
"I love you, Rinoa," Squall said, staring unwaveringly at Seifer.
Seifer's eyes narrowed and he gazed at Squall with the fiery intensity of blue-white flame. Without warning, he grabbed Squall by the collar of his pale silk shirt. "This has gone on long enough. This ends now!" he growled.
Pulling Squall roughly against him, his quaking fingers curled even tighter in the soft silk.
"Seifer, stop it! Stop fighting right now! I'm not getting back together with you!" She stomped her foot on her fuzzy blue carpet. "And that's final!"
Eyes ablaze, blood raging through his veins, Seifer swooped down towards the smaller boy's face, until their foreheads touched, his ragged breath beating against their skin.
"Don't you dare hurt him, you Meanie! Hurting him won't get me back."
"It's over," Seifer hissed. "It's over, now!" Seifer yanked his rival by the collar, banishing the space between them, and captured Squall's lips with his own in a spellbinding kiss.
For a moment only the crackling of the fire and the wind whistling softly through the half open window kept the room from complete silence.
Then Rinoa recovered from her shock. "You're...you're biting him? Stop it! Stop biting him! Stop!" She stomped her foot again. "You're just a meanie bully, Seifer Almasy."
Squall's body relaxed against Seifer, like a marionette whose strings had been cut. Their lips didn't part, moving ravenously as one in a passionate duel.
Rinoa stumbled across the room, tears streaming down her cheeks. "He can't breathe! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!"
Squall's hands slid up Seifer's chest to clutch Seifer's trenchcoat, pressing their bodies even closer together. He let out a little moan.
"Seifer, please stop!" she cried, beating on Seifer's back with her fists. "You're killing him!"
Squall broke the kiss with a growl and turned his head, his ruffled chestnut hair in sexy disarray. "Oh, shut the fuck up, Rinoa," he snapped, his blue eyes glowering at her.
Rinoa froze, her only movement the slow blinking of her brown, puppy eyes. "S...S... Squall?"
"Is there another Squall you irritated to hell and kept locked away in this fucking eyesore of a room in your fucking eyesore of a tower?'
"But, Squall, you love me." She smiled weakly.
"And you want to be with me forever in our love."
"Yeah, right." He rolled his eyes.
"And you're my Knight." She nodded slowly, insistently, hopefully.
"Was." Squall glared, a hand on his hip. "Something about being held against my will kinda makes me want to look for other work," he added with his bland tone of sarcasm.
Seifer snickered. "Go figure."
"No shit." Squall turned on his heel, his back to Rinoa, and brushed past Seifer as he headed for the door.
"Don't! Don't leave me, my Snuggly Love Hamster!" she whimpered, clasping her hands together at her breast. "I love you! I love you!"
Both Seifer and Squall stared are her, blinking. Once. Twice.
They looked at each other, brows wrinkled in beyond bewilderment. Smacking his hand to his forehead, Squall shook his head slowly, while Seifer burst into a fit of laughter.
"Oh, dear god!" Seifer laughed, tears streaking down his handsome face. "I think that's definitely our cue to go now. "
"No! Don't leave me! Squall!" Rinoa fell to her knees, clutching at Squall's pants, but the tight leather left little to grasp.
"Ri', let him go. Just look at him. You've traumatized the poor boy."
"Snuggly?" Squall twitched.
"I'm sure another anti-social, sexually-repressed, emotionally-retarded, gloomy little bastard will come along..."
"Go back to your 'snuggly' moment, Hamster-boy." Seifer smirked, patting Squall on the back. Squall scowled, blinked, then scowled again, but distractedly. "Anyyyway, and the poor sap might actually enjoy being twisted into your dementedly sweet image."
Rinoa sniffed, wiping her eyes. "You really think so?"
With a sly grin, Seifer nodded. "Sure, why not?"
"Okay." She smiled and bounded to the sofa, settling onto it with a bounce and waited.
Shaking his head in disbelief, Seifer turned to the door. "Let's go."
Squall's shoulders were tense, quaking, but he let Seifer urge him forward with a hand on his arm. "Snuggly!"
"It could be worse. She could have called you 'cute'," Seifer snickered as they passed through the doorway, pulling the abused door shut behind them.
"Don't even," Squall growled.
Seifer's laughter echoed off the stone walls of the tower as they descended the spiral staircase. The dank musty smell of dirt and stone contrasted the sickly sweet scent of roses and honey which had clung to Rinoa's room.
"A real prize choice, Leonhart," Seifer murmured, his coat billowing behind him in the faint breeze winding through the tower.
"Hey, don't tell me. You dated her."
"Oh? And what do you call what you were doing all of five minutes ago, Squally-poo Snuggly Love Hamster?"
Squall paled. "I wasn't in my right mind."
"Then," Seifer smirked. "If I were you, I'd kick my left mind's ass."
"So what's your excuse?"
"Temporary insanity. It runs in the family, you know," he replied matter-of-factly.
Squall scoffed. "How the hell would you know, Dumbass, you're an orphan."
"Oh, great, just go and rub it in." Seifer brushed aside an imaginary tear. "And after I came all this way to save your ungrateful ass. " Halting a step or two, Seifer let Squall slightly ahead of him, eyes roaming up and down Squall's body and the tight black leather pants clinging to every curve and muscle as he moved.
"Though it is a damn fine ass, I must say."
"Whatever..." Squall's lips may have expressed disinterest, but the shift of his hips into a sexier hint of a swagger told otherwise. Seifer grinned.
"So how'd you know how to break the spell?"
Seifer was nearly startled from his admiring gaze. "Didn't," he admitted casually.
Seifer rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, his gloved fingers brushing through his golden hair. "Had no fucking clue how to break it. Raijin suggested smacking you upside the head."
His blond brow quirked with nonchalant amusement. "Well, it worked with me."
"But Rinoa had no powers when you dated," Squall replied, rolling his eyes.
"It still worked."
Squall studied him, lips tensing and untensing. "So why the hell did you kiss me then?"
Seifer shrugged. "Felt like it."
"Felt like it? What kind of plan is that?"
"One that worked," Seifer smirked. "Want to give it another try?" He waggled his pale eyebrows suggestively.
"Might have some lingering effects of the spell. Wouldn't want you turning into Rinoa's Snuggly Love Hamster again."
"Fuck off. I'm not snuggly."
"You sure?" Seifer chuckled. "There isn't the urge to cuddle in front of a fire and whisper sickening sweet nothings in..."
Seifer was cut off by Squall grabbing him by the collar, forcing their mouths together in a bruising kiss. It was Seifer's turn to melt as Squall pressed against him, deepening the kiss. Then, as abruptly as it had started, it ended, leaving Seifer breathless.
"I am... not...snuggly," Squall muttered with a fierce and sultry forcefulness.
"Okay, okay, you're not snuggly." Waving his hands in mock surrender, Seifer conceded, but he grinned like a fool, his kiss reddened lips blissfully and smugly pleased.
They walked on in silence.
Finally Seifer spoke, peering at Squall with mischief in his aqua eyes. "So...," he leered. "...Wanna prove you're not snuggly again when we get back to Garden?"
A wry smile quirking his lips, hinting at mischief of his own, Squall replied
Real Author's notes: In case you haven't figured it out, this was supposed to be just a silly, fun parody. Of what? That's for you to decide. *I* know, but it might be for the best if we leave it at that. smirk> Btw, I don't 'giggle'. Just a subtle point to show the opening Author's Notes were part of the parody as well, -- hell, I was even playing around in the FF.net summary, which I've since toned down.-- but I hoped the sarcasm and other bits had already made that clear. If not, oh well....
Oh, and there isn't any more. This is it. So Review if you want to, I do enjoy them, but I won't extort it out of you. Also, don't care if you flame me either. Sorry, it won't make me cry, except maybe with laughter, or joy that someone has finally flamed me.
And I must say the first part of this fic was the hardest thing I've ever had to write. Gave me the shivers. shudder>
Thanks for reading. Hope you liked it.
12/10 addendum: A few minor edits. Main news is there will be more. I've decided to write a sequel. If you liked this story, look for it in the next week or two.