Pairing: Suggests Palmer/Lee, but it's not the main point of the story; Tony/Abby if you squint. :p
Summary: This morning I walked into Ducky's lab and . . . I don't even want to relive that.
Spoilers: General season 4, but pretty minor.
Disclaimer: These characters belong to DPB, CBS, Paramount, et al. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author's Notes: Written for the Operation Hinky challenge at NFA. Additional notes following. (Bolded is what I used.) Remember, reviews are love!
Main Character(s): Chose from the list below for the Main Character/s
Rating: PG13 - R European Equivalent 15-18+
Theme: Choose from one of the Themes below
Length: 500 - 2500+Words
Restrictions: Not many
[#No Smut - Only implied sexual encounters
[#Must be considered plausible. (no off the wall assumptions or out of the blue context - research is your friend)
[#Be in-character as possible no matter the theme you choose
Prompts: Must use one of the following sentences in your entry
[#"You've got to be kidding me! I thought this stuff only happened in really bad horror movies."
[#"Ah, well that's what you get for listening to religion."
[#"You've got about two minutes to get out of those clothes before I get impatient." (Random aside: You shoulda known I'd pick that one. :p)
[#"Is this your idea of a joke? Because it's really not nice to mess with an NCIS Agent."
[#"Oh I don't know. The fur kinda grows on ya after awhile."
Tony flinched in the process of eating his sandwich as Abby slammed her hands down on his desk, leaning over so her top revealed just a bit much of her ample cleavage. Suddenly, Tony was distracted, staring down her shirt.
"Tony, I'm up here," Abby said, waving her hands in his face, annoyed and hurried.
Tony leaned back in his chair, taking another bite of his sandwich. "What's up, Abbs?" he asked around a mouthful of salami and cheese.
She stared him down. "You've got about two minutes to get out of those clothes before I get impatient."
Tony choked on his sandwich, coming to a sitting position again. When he recovered, he shook a finger at her. "That's not funny, Abbs. When people are eating, you don't . . ."
"We don't have time," she interrupted, grabbing his hand and dragging him to the elevator.
He didn't have time to ask more questions as they exited the elevator and she shoved him into her lab, forcing him into a chair in front of her computer. "'Kay, I need your help. Take off your shirt."
Tony chuckled. "Abbs, you know I love you . . ."
"Tony, get serious," Abby whined, stomping a boot. She stopped and bit her lip, suddenly nervous. "There's something I gotta tell you, and you gotta promise not to tell anyone else."
He raised an eyebrow at her. "Alright. Shoot."
She took a deep breath, preparing herself. "I think I might have x-ray vision."
Tony laughed, standing from his chair. He shook a finger at her. "That's a good one, Abbs. Now, Gibbs is gonna kick my ass if I'm not up there working . . ."
She grabbed him and spun him around to face her. "I'm serious, Tony! This morning I walked into Ducky's lab and . . . I don't even want to relive that. Palmer was the only one down there, but . . ."
Tony narrowed his eyebrows at her. "You saw through his clothes?"
She nodded, still biting her lip. "I don't know what to do, Tony. I just can't have x-ray vision. How am I supposed to get any work done if everyone's naked?" Tony gave her a look. "To me, I mean." She started pacing her lab.
Tony retreated to the computer chair again, turning it around and sitting on it backwards. "Alright, what are the signs of x-ray vision?"
Abby stopped pacing and stared at him. "Seeing through solid objects?"
Tony threw up a hand, as if to say, "Duh," then continued. "Have you looked for more information? Maybe Palmer really was naked."
Abby let out an ungraceful snort. "And why would Palmer be naked in autopsy? I know McGee's book was based off us, but I highly doubt Jimmy's having sex with corpses."
Tony shrugged. "Let's look for more information before we go making any rash decisions."
Abby nodded, walking over to her computer and pushing Tony out of the way as she began typing furiously at the keyboard. After a few minutes, she turned around with a frustrated sigh. "I can't find anything."
Tony stood from the chair, standing next to her at her computer. "Well, don't get discouraged, Abbs. Can you see through my shirt?"
She bit her lip and focused on his chest. "No."
He shrugged. "Problem solved. You don't have x-ray vision." He turned to leave, but Abby tugging on his arm prevented him from doing so.
"But Tony! That still doesn't explain Palmer!"
He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Maybe it was a temporary thing? Come on, Abbs, Gibbs is really gonna be mad at me . . ." She sulked, and he pulled her towards him, placing a kiss on top of her head. "Alright, let's go to autopsy and find out for ourselves. If Palmer really is naked, then I will unfortunately see it, too."
Abby's face lit up. "You'd really do that for me, Tony?"
He grimaced. "Yeah, I guess I would. Come on, let's go before Gibbs rounds up a firing squad."
They exited the lab, Abby's words trailing behind her. "Silly goose, you know he'd just do it himself . . ."
As they entered the lab, they saw a, thankfully for Tony, fully-clothed Palmer washing his hands at the sink.
Tony nudged Abby in the side. "Can you still see through his clothes?"
She shook her head, pigtails flying, then turned to him. "But that doesn't explain this morning. I can't think of any reason he'd be naked in autopsy."
Tony placed a hand on her shoulder. "I'd rather not think too deeply on that subject. Come on, let's get out of here."
They turned to leave, and then Palmer noticed them. "Oh, hey guys. Can I do something for you?"
Tony didn't even turn around. "Nope. Just wandering. We're bored." He made a face as he spoke, knowing that his excuse was awful.
"Oh, okay. Say hi to Ziva and McGee for me."
"Will do," Tony said quickly, wanting to get out of there. As the doors closed behind them, he turned to Abby again. "I don't know what to tell ya, Abbs. Looks like you don't have any superpowers after all."
She frowned, more in contemplation than disappointment. "It's just so weird."
"Yeah, tell me about it." They started walking away again, and as Tony was about to enter the elevator, he nearly ran head-on into Agent Lee.
She gathered her files to herself and straightened her skirt. "Sorry, Agent DiNozzo."
"It's alright," Tony said, then thought a moment, as Lee was walking away. "Say, Agent Lee." She turned to face him. "Did you happen to be down here this morning?"
She shook her head, responding aloud. "No, I've been upstairs all day. Why do you ask?"
Tony shook his head at her. "No reason. Have a good day." She walked toward autopsy, and Tony stepped into the elevator. Abby remained standing there, eyebrows raised in anticipation of what that was all about.
Tony raised an eyebrow back at her. "I have a theory, and I think it was just confirmed." Abby grinned and stepped into the elevator to hear more.
Meanwhile, Lee entered autopsy, glancing behind her for any signs of Tony and Abby, then turned to Jimmy. "Hey," she said meekly.
He faced her, a smile gracing his face. "Hey yourself. Couldn't get enough of me after this morning, huh?" He strode toward her, ready to take her again.
She pushed him away before he could. "Jimmy, I think we've been found out."