I don't own Harry Potter.

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My life is destroyed. I knew I made a mistake when I joined the death eaters. Yet, as foolhardy as I was, I believed it could benefit me and maybe a future family.

Hell, I was wrong. But only on the former. I was married, I had a beautiful wife named Mingella and a daughter.

The day Voldemort asked me if I had a family was the day I wished I died. I lied, and said no. And suprisingly, he didn't find out about them until I was hunted by the Ministry.

However, I wasn't the only one who suffered. Yaxley too, he was given the Crucio curse, just like me. I lied there after the curse took its affect, as did he.

I did not expect to be called to the Lord's room, but then, I was in for a bigger surprise. My knees hit the ground before my breath left my lungs, my wife's body, along with my daughter's bodies lay upon the desk.

Dead.

I screamed and cried, I know I must sound pathetic. But even Death Eaters cry too. He whispered to me, oh so nicely, that their deaths was my punishment.

I ran out, and found Yaxley's form, as I reconized his wife's body beside my own. No idea why she was killed. Maybe he gave the wrong information?

I ran up to the man, who was sitting on the couch beside Rodolphus and Lucius, the other Death Eaters sitting around watching me. I placed my scrawny arms upon Yaxley's shoulders and pulled him into an embrace.

He tensed, and sat stiff for a moment, but then his muscles soon relaxing, wrapping an arm around me, I pulled away, "What was that about, Avery?" he asked me, confusion written upon his face.

I blanched. "It was not your fault." Was my answer, before he could ask me what was going on, The Lord called him inside. My voice followed his retreating back, "It's not your fault, Yaxley! Don't blame yourself!"

He spun around, facing me. "Wha-"

"Get in here, now, Yaxley."

He was inside for barely a minute, during the time the other Death Eaters watched me like I was about to kill them or myself, thinking I was psychotic, when a scream interrupted their watching.

The door blasted upon, a twitching Yaxley came out, our eyes made contact; tears fresh upon his face.

He walked towards the beds and threw himself in his own, ignoring us.

Voldemort came out of the room, smirking at me, and then Yaxley's form.
"You deserved what you were just given."

I bit my lip in an attempt to stop a back chat, almost like a student. Tears fell as I remembered all the good times I had with my family, my wife's beautiful face on our wedding day, the difficult and painful birth of my daughter, the tears fell like miniture fountains. Yaxley merely snorted, got up, and walked to the bathroom. The thud came from it, my head shot up in surprise, as did others.

Voldemort strode over to the bathroom door, threw it open to see and unconsious Yaxley on the floor.

"Crabbe, Goyle. Take him to his bed." The said couple got up, grabbed Yaxley's sobbing form and laid him on the bed. His fists curled around the sheets, his sobbing almost uncontrollable.

Macnair sighed, and walked over to Yaxley. He grabbed his shoulders and held him close, Voldemort's eyes flickered at the scene, but other than that, he turned and walked away. I screeched after him, not saying anything audiable, just a jumble of emotions.

Tears still fell...

... the first time we made love...

... first date...

... my daughter's first word, step, cry, smile...

Someone roughly jerked me from my depressing thoughts. The tears were like tattoos. How could someone I served do this to me? Rodolphus looked at me, pulled me into a comforting embrace and walked away. I heard a scream, Macnair was holding a hysterical Yaxley. "My wife... oh my god.. my beautiful wife.." he sobbed into the other's broad chest. Macnair made comforting noises, looking over at me, almost checking to see if I was alright. Jugson walked in and nudged me, "You alright?"

Something broke in me, I yelled, tears fell from my pale face onto the floor as I ran out of the hideout, running to who knows where. The Eaters yelled out after me, I could see the Mark in the sky, taunting me. I ran and ran.. the forest grew thick, and crashed to the ground. I could hear Voldemort shouting after me, "I need him alive."

I panicked. I was grabbed by - the tilt of my head, and I reconized Crabbe and Goyle's forms. They lifted up my pathetically scrawny body and took me back to the hideout.

Macnair was still comforting a softly sobbing Yaxley. He cleared his throat before speaking, "You and Yaxley should eat," without further ado, motioned for my captors to dump me in a chair next to Yaxley in a chair at the dining table. Yaxley's head sagged, eyes puffy.

... family gone...

... this is your fault..

I rubbed my eyes, but it was to no use. My eyes leaked out no matter how hard I tried to stop it.

I was startled when a plate of food was placed in front of me. Yaxley pushed his away. I picked up a piece of the chopped up gravy meat with my fork and grabbed his shoulder. He rose, looking at me, I stared at his face, so vunerable.

My thumb reached his lip, the fork-with-food touching his lip slightly. He allowed the morsel inside, chewing softly. I ate some more myself, he ate very little, but ate nonetheless.

Yaxley got up, Macnair pulled him towards his bed, Yaxley yelling and resisting. Macnair laid beside him, who was now dozing off.

No other sound or comment came from them. But Yaxley spun around and grasped Macnair, his face buried in his chest.

Dolohov sat across from me, "How are you, in all honesty mate. Yell if you need to." His eyes skimmed over the sleeping bodies. I felt like smashing his head in, I stopped crying, but my chest still heaved, eyes red and sore.

I spoke calmly, "Aching."

Dolohov nodded and ate some of my left over food. "You did not deserve such things."

"Thats not what he said."

His eyes met mine. "He? The Lord?"

"Yes."

He sighed. "Of course. He want you to believe that, as it will either make you more loyal or disloyal."

Anger filled me like blood. "I am not an animal."

"No, you aren't. But see, he thinks we all are."

Tears fell again.

Please remind me why I joined.


Owari.