Disclaimer: I do not own card captors clam does or the lyrics of the song Boston, Augustana does
Any time she was alone and all her daily targets had been met, she thought of humming birds. When she was a little girl, she used to go for walks every single Sunday afternoon with her mother. There was not much she remembered of those days. It felt like they did not exist or she made portions of them up. They seemed too good to be true and too far away to revisit. She could only remember humming birds. A faint smile touched her rosy lips which shimmered with strawberry lip gloss.
"Sakura, are you listening?" A girl waved her hand across her face.
She was sitting in the company of warriors; high school overachiever was the appropriate term. A label she wore with honor and humility. The high school overachiever was easy to target. She can be spotted in a crowd. Her uniform was always neat and tidy. She always remembered to say 'please' and 'thank you' in the presence of adults of course. She was beautiful and took part in every school event, no matter how grueling. She was usually a cheerleader, captain of some after school activity and her grades were so perfect that one had to wonder when she found the time to study. She was multitalented—could do just about anything. The high school over achiever made everyone else feel exceedingly insecure, without knowing it.
"Of course I am." Sakura said suddenly.
"Good. It's final; the fair is next week Saturday. Chiharu you are in charge of the entertainment. Sakura you are in charge of the food. Naoko the decorations and I'll take care of everything else." Tomoyo the girl with the raven hair said standing up and pushing her chair in.
Chiharu another girl narrowed her eyes "Why do I have to arrange for entertainment. I told you already Tomoyo; I want to be in charge of the food."
Tomoyo rolled her eyes "Sakura is in charge of that."
Chiharu and Tomoyo looked at Sakura at the same time.
"Don't worry about it." Sakura said kindly "I'll take care of the entertainment. You can take care of the food Chiharu."
Both of the girls smiled and nodded.
"We'll meet again tomorrow after school. Same time as today." Chiharu said now getting out of her seat.
All the girls left the library except for Sakura and Tomoyo who stood close to the door.
"Are you walking home?" Tomoyo asked "I can give you a lift…if you need one."
Sakura half smiled "I'll walk, it's not that far. Thanks anyway."
Tomoyo smirked "Okay. I have to go. I'll see you tomorrow morning." She rushed out through the door.
Sakura sighed. Now she was alone. She walked carefully through the hallway. She did not want to disturb detention which was still in session. It was nearly 4:30. The school was deserted and quiet. Each step she took reminded her of the blue envelop that was in her bag. It was the only thing that would determine her happiness. That was what made her so terrified of it. Her heart beat faster and faster. Suddenly she stopped walking…she paused and looked up…
"Wet floor, use the back door." The janitor said looking directly at her.
The horror, Sakura thought. The back door? She knew it existed but hadn't actually been there. The back door was no place for the 'high school overachiever'. Who knew what was lurking behind those graffiti walls and filthy dust bins. Everything humanly sick lurked in those corners.
Sakura then giggled at the thought of how hysterical she was being. It was no big deal really. She smiled at the short stumpy woman then walked the opposite direction.
Once again the thought of the blue envelop crossed her mind. With it came an overbearing sadness. As she approached the back door, she bit her lower lip. Her heart went up to her mouth. She could no longer restrain herself 'I wish I just died that day.' She whispered angrily. Tears came streaming down her face.
The minute she pushed the door open and stepped out of the school building she took a deep breath. She felt more tears sting her eyes.
The cold wind blew on her as she felt the long shadows of evening fall upon her. The sky was orange and there was not a single person in sight.
She took a left turn then stopped in her tracks. A person…there is someone here. She thought first noticing the movement of a figure on the pavement. I can't let anyone see me like this. She said roughly mopping the tears away.
She took two steps ahead when she saw him. He was standing at a corner behind the school building. He leaned comfortably against the wall with his legs crossed. One of his hands was in his pocket and the other held a cigarette between his fingers. His eyes were brown, amber to be more specific. His hair was chestnut and fell dramatically over his face. His hair was muddled and went well with the image he was appeared to want to live up to. He was a fatal image of male exquisiteness.
The second she took in his image she thought 'I wish I was like him.'
He put the cigarette in his mouth and breathed in the smoke several times then stubbed it out.
Suddenly his head turned to her. Sakura wanted to run and hide. There was something awfully terrifying and dangerous about him.
He looked at her then turned his head away. He placed the cigarette between his lips again then breathed out the smoke.
Sakura watched him for more than a minute. It never hit her that she was staring until he spoke.
"What is it?" he spoke with a hoarse voice that softened as he neared the end of his question.
Her eyebrows shot up. Her heart beat was slower.
"Can I have one?"
His eyebrows descended. "You smoke?"
Sakura cleared her throat and summon the courage to look him in the eye "Of course."
He fumbled in his pocket and took out packet of cigarette. He handed her the packet. Sakura drew out one cigarette.
He gave her a lighter and Sakura took it dropping her gaze.
At first she struggled to light her cigarette. When she finally managed to, she placed the cigarette between her lips, exhaled, then coughed immediately after that.
He chuckled inwardly "You've never done this before. Figures."
She looked at him then back at the pavement "How do you know."
"You made it obvious…"
One thing that was obvious was that he did not look like the talking type. He's label would be strong silent type, Sakura thought.
He grabbed the hand which she was holding the cigarette in. Sakura gasped, a rush of blood flowing quickly through her body. He stroked his firm fingers across hers then gently slid the cigarette between her fingers. He threw the cigarette on the ground then stepped on it.
"You don't want to start." He said leaning on the wall again.
After a moment of awkward silence, Sakura looked at him again. "My name is Kinomoto Sakura."
"I know who you are."
"You do? Well I've never seen you around and I know almost everyone on the student body."
"Almost." He kept his eyes away from hers.
"I sound stupid, don't I?"
He was silent.
"It might look like I like school but I hate it." She said sadly out of nowhere.
He blinked hard "Yeah. The rules are fucked up."
For some reason, Sakura felt the urge to be like him "Yeah, they are pretty Fu….fu…cked up."
He looked at her with intensity; his eyes looked like they were on fire. He shook his head "When you curse it sounds so wrong."
She frowned "You don't even know me."
"Let's leave it at that." He said simply and rather rudely.
"You look like you're trying to escape detention. I don't want to sound like I'm pointing…" Sakura paused when she realized that he wasn't paying attention.
There was another still moment between them. A moment so still that Sakura began to feel lonely again. She tried to co-ordinate her thoughts but she could no stop thinking about that day. There was a pain that beat inside of her. No one had ever seen it.
Tears spilled down her cheeks. She sniffled. He turned and looked at her. He was quiet at first. He was not used to being around crying women. He wished he was in any other situation but this one. He didn't know what to do or say.
"You're crying?" Was all that came out. 'of course she's crying you idiot.' He told himself.
"I'm crying because I'm lonely. I try so hard to be perfect, the truth is, I'm worthless" — true "I'm crying because I'm scared of being alone" Sakura tried to control her voice. "I'm afraid no one will ever love me…for me." —All true. "My mother passed away years ago and I'm not over it and…my father is leaving; he's such a great Dad."—All Lies.
"Why is she telling me this? What does she expect me to do? I just met her." Syaoran thought.
He looked at her. Her bright eyes glistened 'Is that hazel… emerald?' he couldn't tell but they were beautiful. He had never seen anything like them.
She was the most delicate thing he had ever come across; the most beautiful too. Something inside him erupted. It was an element of fear and curiosity. With him, everything in life was straight forward. Everything was what it seemed to be. Not her. He had an overwhelming urge to hold her.
the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun...
Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,
This world you must've crossed... you said...
He wrapped his hands around her. She was a head shorter than he was. He took in the smell of her perfume and her shampoo. Her scent was compelling. Her soft auburn hair brushed gently against his cheek. It was softer than feathers. He could barely breathe.
don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah
She was limp in his arms. It's not that she didn't want move. She literally couldn't. His arms were strong but he held her so gently.
yet appealed, carry all your thoughts across
An open field,
When flowers gaze at you... they're not the only ones who cry
When they see you
She hid her face in his chest thus soaking his school shirt with her tears.
don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,
You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,
"Should I say something…is this enough? Why do I care? No I don't…I just…need to make her feel better."
They stayed on the same spot in the same position for five minutes. She couldn't stop crying.
"Hey Syaoran! Mr. Nagasaki is looking for you; he wants you back in detention immediately." A ninth grade boy interrupted.
Sakura automatically drew her head from his chest.
"I'll be there in a second." He said to the boy who had already disappeared by then.
Sakura took one step back as though suddenly afraid of him. Her lower lip trembled.
"I'm sorry…I just."
"…needed a shoulder to cry on?" he said looking adoringly at her.
"Uh…I don't know what came over me." She took another step back "I don't do this…" she took another step back "I don't even know you." She whispered.
She shook her head "No it's not."
She quickly walked away with her hands folded across her chest and her head staring at the ground.
As he watched her he thought "That was weird."
A/N. thanks for reading. If you want the story to go on or have some constructive advice pls let me know by dropping a review. Don't know if the song (Augustana, Boston) served it's purpose, it's my first time to use a song in a fan fiction. Anyways, thanks again.