Another story... Hope you liked my other ones as well. This one is a little juicier... Hope you. Like it!!!! There will be more chapters!!!!
Edward... Just thinking the name made my heart speed, and my cheeks warm. My own private god... I loved him undoubtedly and I had accepted him back with open arms, but why? I knew I loved him. I knew he loved me, but why? What was so...irresistible about me?
I knew what I loved about Edward: everything... It was that simple. He opened up to me, and that made me even more besotted by him. He was the bad guy, trying to be good for humanity and himself. He detested what he was, but that was one of the reasons I loved him. Everything about Edward was beautiful, from the way he talked, in the cadences of an earlier century, to the way he walked, with unnerving grace. I loved him. I don't know when I consciously decided I loved him, it was more... admitting to myself.
All I knew about Edward at the time was what all of Forks believes. That Carlisle and Esme had adopted the kids after various tragedy's. Carlisle was a doctor, dedicated to protecting humanity. Esme was the "mother" of the bunch, well, that was the story. Alice and Jasper were together and so were Rosalie and Emmett, that left Edward... my Edward.
He chose me, I tried so hard sometimes to remember that, but failed. He was perfect, I was imperfect. He, a Vampire, me, a human. Immortal, Mortal. Graceful, Clumsy. I didn't see the logic in Edward's choice, I just had to take his word for it. I knew how much my doubt made me appear unsure and distant, but when he left me to
go hunting, I had to ask myself... Is he coming back?
I knew Charlie saw the...hurt and the fear, so evident on my face every time he went away, but what was I supposed to do? He'd left me once hadn't he? What made Charlie think he wouldn't do it again? I knew sometimes when he climbed through my window he could see I'd cried myself to sleep... The anguish was clear on his face in the morning.
What hurt me the most was my doubt about our relationship. He had been back now for a month and hadn't left my side, except for the occasional hunting trip... I'd tried to set him free, but he felt bound by our relationship. This was when the tears, hot and fast, always started to fall into my lap. I'd sit, curled up in the rocking chair wearing one of his shirts and cry... It was pathetic. And I knew it., but for some reason it felt... ritual... I couldn't break the ritual, until he changed me and I could no longer cry or I could go hunting with him.
Excited didn't even begin to cover how I felt when he asked me to marry him... I'd felt as if I had found a home. Against all I believed in, and all I'd read about Fairy Tales, I still felt i was in one.
I sniffled and wiped my nose on his sleeve, he would be curious if I didn't go to bed, and he would come back anyway... I knew he would. He always did.
I went to the bathroom and gently cleaned my tear streaked face. My eyes were red and puffy, it was clear I had been crying, and wouldn't escape Edward's notice. I brushed my teeth, biding my time. I wanted, badly, to see his face and feel his lips on my neck... I slowly opened the door and cautiously made my way to my room.
"Bella..." his voice was better than all the gifts I wanted at Christmas. I threw myself into his arms and buried my face in his neck..."Hmm..." he breathed.
"Hello..." I answered.
"Bella, whats wrong?" He gently sat us in my chair, I immediately curled up into his arms. "Bella... Love, whats wrong?" He repeated the question. I kissed his neck, and inhaled deeply. I didn't need a candy shop, I had Edward. I cautiously looked into those topaz eyes, knowing they would betray me into telling the truth.
"I...I...I didn't think you would come back... I know you love me, but I wonder what you see... I look at you and...and see everything, Edward, but me? I'm so ordinary. Why me?" I whispered. There. He got what he always wanted. I told the truth, with no editing. The anguish was again plain on his face. He stroked my cheek.
"Bella...when I look at you, and hold you, I see all I am not. The warmth...the caring and love. I see," and then he kissed me. Hard. I wound my hands in his hair, and his hands found there way under his button down to my breasts, I moaned. Shocked at the pleasure. When we broke apart, his hands remained where they were. And he looked fiercely into my eyes," everything." He breathed.
I didn't know how I could doubt his love and devotion. I feared for my sanity. "Hmm..." I sighed. I carefully put my arms around his neck, trying to gage his reaction.
"Bella... Why do you do that? To yourself? Do you doubt my love?" He was scrutinizing my face. Looking for logic, where I had found none.
"I don't know. I always seem to think you will find someone prettier, or smarter... then you won't come back..." I leaned my head on his shoulder and bent in to kiss his neck. I swept my nose up his jawline, exactly like he did to me. Edward, seemingly at peace, tilted his head back on the rocking chair. Exposing all of his neck. I straddled him. His hands slipped down to my waist, and held me tight.. I kissed up his neck, and stopped at his lips," Never." I kissed him. Hard. My hands were raking down his chest and his thumbs were rubbing circles on my waist. I sighed and he broke apart.
"Ya?" He chuckled upon seeing my face. I had my face like, an inch from his. "Hello."
"Hello, Love. Now you," he touched the tip of my nose," must go to bed and,"he lightly fingered the top button on his shirt," could I have my shirt back?" he said flippantly. I kissed his neck and nodded. I slowly undid the buttons watching Edward. He was staring like a boy at the Playboy Mansion, or you know what? He was staring like Emmett does, when Rose puts on a bikini. I almost snorted at that. I undid the last button, and Edward slid the shirt off my shoulders and handed me my shirt. He gently slid it over my shoulders, being careful. I buttoned up his, placing a kiss before every button. When I got to his lips, I leaned in and whispered,"Time for bed..."
"Bella!" He groaned. I wound my hands around his neck and let him carry me to bed. He set me gently down, tucked me in, and made to lay over the blankets."Nope. You' re with me, Mister." He smiled and obliged. He gently slid his arms around my waist and pulled me close. Slowly he started humming a lullaby. My Lullaby.
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