Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter themes, characters or plots. They belong to JKR and her minions.


Chapter 12: Be My Mirror, My Sword and Shield


Recap: She laughed again, turning around and throwing her arms around his neck. He hugged her to him, his surprise quickly ebbing into warmth. "You'll come over tomorrow?"

She nodded once she stepped away from him. "How does noon sound?"

"Fine," he nodded. "I'll speak to Paulette before you get here."

"Good luck," she said softly. "I'll be here at noon."

He smiled at her and resisted the urge to reach out and grab her. "Goodnight."

"Night," she said, disappearing down the hall and apparating instantly.

He closed the door and felt happier than he had for the past few weeks, knowing that Samira was not out of his life completely. She had been right… they hadn't just been lovers; they had been the closest of friends.

But, Draco wasn't satisfied with just being her friend. He wanted her… and he was going to have her. Draco Malfoy wasn't used to being denied what he wanted. He was selfish and he was spoiled and he didn't care who knew.

He threw off his shirt and collapsed onto his bed, crossing his arms beneath his head and contemplating how he was going to convince Samira to face her demons, to trust him with her insecurities and come back to him the way he wanted her to. He fell asleep with those thoughts swimming in his head, his determination stronger than ever.

Samira unlocked the door of her flat, stepping inside and fumbling around for the light switch. Her mood was still in a floating bliss after having spent all evening with Draco.

She drew in a gasp when a hand clamped over her mouth and she was jerked into the room, a hard body behind her.

A familiar smell hit her senses as her eyes adjusted to the dark and as she tried to control the rapid beating of her heart. The hand over her mouth was rough and the body behind her was tall. She felt a stabbing of anxiety in her chest.

Tears gathered in her eyes as her assailant bent his head to her ear and whispered in his native tongue. "My sweet, sweet Samira… how kind of you to join me."

She was spun around to face the man she had recognized by voice alone.

"Sebastien…" she whispered hoarsely, before she was knocked to the ground, the whole world spiraling into darkness.


Draco felt a slight amount of unease as he knocked on Paulette's door. He wasn't in the mood to break up with anyone. It was such an uncomfortable situation and he wished there was a less excruciating way to do it… like a break-up greeting card or a break-up singing telegram.

He waited as he heard her scramble to the door, unlocking the few locks she had. She smiled at him once she opened the door and kissed his cheek as she ushered him inside. At the moment she wanted to throw her arms around his neck for a hug, he gently shook his head and grabbed her wrists to stop her. "Can we talk, Paulette?"

She gave him a frown and shrugged, taking a seat across from him in her living room.

He expelled a breath and gave her a wan smile. "I don't really know how to say this so I'm just going to come out with it and tell it to you straight. Paulette, I don't think we should see each other anymore. You're a nice girl and you're beautiful, but I just can't see myself having any feelings for you. I know that sounds a bit harsh and blunt, but it's the honest truth."

Paulette stared at him for a few moments and then furrowed her brow. "Did I do something wrong?"

He sighed and shook his head. "No, you didn't. You're quite a lovely person and most people would call me a fool for breaking up with you, but I can't lie to myself anymore and I certainly cannot keep leading you on. I'm still in love with Samira. I never told her that I loved her, but I do and, I want to be with her."

"Well, I can't really argue with that," she replied with a shrug. "How long did you know you've loved her and why did you lead me on for so long?"

"I'm an idiot, Paulette. I don't know what I'm thinking half the time and when I do know what I'm thinking, I never know what to do. I apologize for leading you on in the beginning, but I wasn't too sure of what I would do once I realized I couldn't love anyone besides Samira. I'm really sorry."

She shrugged again and gave him a sad smile. "You should go."

He ran a hand through his hair and nodded. "Yeah, I think so, too. I'll let myself out."

She nodded slowly and crossed her arms over her chest, watching him as he left her flat.

The minute Draco closed the door behind him, he felt his chest unknot and his shoulders sag with relief. He actually felt a smile cross his face as he realized he was that much closer to reaching his goal of getting Samira back. True, he felt bad for what he had just done to Paulette, but he would get over it and so would she.

Samira was supposed to meet him at his flat at noon and he checked his watch to see that he'd been at Paulette's for only a few minutes and that he still had time to get back home and greet Samira at the door.

An hour later, as the hour approached one o' clock, Draco paced in front of his fireplace, wondering what was taking Samira so long. She had never been late for things when they were dating and if she was ever late, she always flooed or owled him to keep him from waiting up.

He checked the clock and his watch once more before grabbing his cloak and apparating to Samira's flat. Maybe she had forgotten or maybe she had overslept. Either way, he was worried.

He knocked on the door to her flat but received no reply. He knocked again, louder this time, in case she was sleeping and didn't hear him. Still, he received no reply.

He ran his fingers through his hair and then left her building to apparate to her parents' house. If she wasn't at her flat, maybe she would be with her parents and Teta. He knocked on the door and hoped that his chase was finished. He just wanted to see her. Was that too much to ask?

Samira's mother opened the door and grinned widely when she saw Draco. "Draco! Habibi, what are you doing here?"

"I was wondering if Samira was here. I was just at her flat but she wasn't home, so I thought maybe she would be here."

Sofie's dark eyebrows furrowed in thought. "No, Samira hasn't been around here this morning. If she isn't at her flat then maybe she's babysitting for Michael. She can't be at work since it's a Saturday and I know she never likes to go in on Saturdays."

"Yeah, I didn't think she'd be at work either. But, thank you. I'll check Michael's place. Give my regards to everyone," he said over his shoulder as he walked back to the Apparition point.

"Goodbye, habibi!" Sofie called after him, a smile on her face as she shook her head slowly. Her daughter and that boy were still so in love with each other that it was humorous to watch them.

When Draco reached Michael's house, he took a deep breath and knocked on the door, praying that Samira was there. He was really starting to worry. If Samira wasn't at Michael's, he had no idea what he would do.

After a few moments of waiting, he heard the telltale sound of Melania's squeal and giggle as Rosa opened the door.

"RACO!" Melania screamed, launching herself at Draco's legs. "You came to my houthe!"

"What a pleasant surprise, Draco," Rosa smiled. "Please, come in."

"Actually, I don't really want to take up a lot of your time, Rosa. I just need to know if you've seen Samira this morning."

"Samira? No, I haven't seen her and she hasn't been here. Did you check her parents' house? She usually visits them on Saturdays."

"I just came from there," he sighed, leaning down to pick up Melania, who had started to climb up his legs. "I think she was probably sleeping when I checked her flat. So, I think I'll go back and check."

"Alright, then. It's really good to see you, again, Draco. I think you made the right choice in deciding to stay friends with Samira. The two of you don't know it, but you really do need each other."

He gave her a patient smile and finally let her pry Melania from his arms. After he promised that he would visit again, lest Melania start sobbing, he quickly walked back to the apparition point and apparated straight to Samira's building.

He climbed the stairs two at a time and eventually reached her door, saying a silent plea for her to be home. He knocked loudly three times and held his breath…


Samira groaned as Sebastien's fingers probed at the bruise on her head.

"You'll live," he said with a snide smile.

She started to say something when she realized there was a scarf around her mouth, a scarf she recognized as her own. Sebastien must have silenced her while she had been unconscious. Her arms were tied behind her back and her ankles were bound together as she lay on her bed. She decided to glare at him instead.

"I see you've missed me, my flower," he said, his smile growing even more evil by the second. "Well, let me tell you something, I have not missed you. In fact, I have hated you for the past two years. Hated you and wanted you to suffer for what you did to me."

He untied the scarf from around her mouth and pulled out a pistol he had tucked in the waistband of his pants. His once handsome face was now horribly repulsive for Samira; she couldn't look at him directly without feeling a stab of uneasiness.

He pointed the gun at her temple, warning her without saying a word that if she screamed, he would end her life.

"Where's your wand, Sebastien?" she asked with a scratchy voice.

He scowled at her and pushed the pistol harder against her temple. "They took that away from me when they arrested me. I'm not allowed to have a wand for the next year."

"Did you escape prison?" she asked, her head throbbing and her heart beating erratically against her ribcage.

"No, I did not escape. I was let out on parole," he sneered. "The first thing on my list was to come and check up on you."

"How kind of you," she said dryly. "What do you want, Sebastien? Why can't you leave me alone? Didn't you torture me enough when we were together?"

"Torture you? I never did such a thing," he replied. "I loved you."

"You did not love me, Sebastien. If you loved me, you wouldn't have hurt me. You wouldn't have wasted your life on boozing and drinking and abusing me. Now, does that sound like a man who loved me?" she spit out.

"You were always on my case about the drinking! It was none of your fucking business what I did…"

"I was your damn girlfriend and you say it was none of my business? I didn't like cleaning up after you and I didn't like being in your way when you were mad! You were an angry drunk and a violent one!"

"I don't …"

Sebastien suddenly stopped speaking when they heard the knocking at the front door.

Samira's eyes widened as she glanced at the clock on her bedroom wall. It was almost three in the afternoon and she was supposed to have met Draco at noon.

"That's the second time someone has come knocking," Sebastien whispered. "Expecting someone, Samira?"

She realized that Draco must have come earlier while she was unconscious. She shook her head in answer to Sebastien's question. She didn't want to drag Draco into this.

"Who's at the door, my flower? Who wants to see you so bad that they are interrupting us? Do you have a lover?"

"It's no one. It's probably my neighbor. She always has tea with me Saturday afternoons. Ignore it," she said quickly.

"You always were a horrible liar," he smirked. "Who's at the door, Samira?"

"No one," she repeated.

He shook his head at her and left the room. She felt tears well in her eyes. She was so confused, scared, and her head would not stop throbbing where it had hit the floor and where Sebastien had struck her.

When he walked back in to the room, his smile was as snide as ever. "A man is at the door. Blond hair, tall, and he doesn't look too happy… ah, there he goes knocking again. I think you should tell him that he needs to go away."

"I won't say anything," she said stubbornly. "Let him think I'm not here."

"I don't want him sniffing around here looking for you. You are mine," he whispered viciously. "Find a way to get rid of him. You better not ask him for help and you better not warn him that I am here. If that happens, I will shoot him dead. Do you understand?"

She nodded quickly, her hands shaking as he untied them. She thought back to where she had left her wand and wanted to cry when she realized she had left it at Draco's flat. She had nothing to use against Sebastien and now she would have to face Draco.

Sebastien picked her up roughly and led her to the front door with the pistol pressing into her back as a warning to her to take care of the situation.

When she opened the door and saw Draco's beautiful, worried face she wanted to leap into his arms and find the safety she knew she'd find there. But, that was impossible.

"Samira! God almighty, where the hell have you been?" Draco asked with a sigh, running his hand through his hair. "Why didn't you answer the door the first time I came by? I nearly lost my mind with … why do you look like that? Where did you get that bruise on your cheek?"

Samira shrugged and gave him a cold stare she didn't mean. "I just tripped."

"Are you going to invite me in or am I going to be stuck in this hallway all day?"

She felt the pistol press harder into her back. She put her hand up to stop Draco from coming in to her flat. "I'm not in the mood for company," she said. "I'd like it if you left."

He narrowed his eyes at her in confusion. "What's going on, Sam? You don't look okay, and I don't believe for one second that you tripped."

"I thought over some things last night, and I decided that us being friends isn't a good idea. We weren't good as a couple, and we just don't …"

"Quit with the bullshit, Sami, and tell me what's going on. You look pale and, with your skin tone, that's not a good thing."

"I just don't want to see you anymore. Go away," she said through clenched teeth. Why didn't he understand that their lives were at stake? Why couldn't he just listen to her?

"If you don't tell me what's going on, I'm going to… what was that?"

She stiffened as she felt the pistol dig deeper. "It was nothing. Go home, Draco."

"Stop telling me to go home," he nearly yelled. "I saw something move behind you. Who's there?"

"No one… Draco, NO!" she screamed as he pushed past her with his wand pulled out.

The sound of the gunshot took the breath from Samira's lungs as she was pushed to the floor. Please don't be dead, please don't be dead, please don't be dead, she thought as she pushed herself to a standing position and prayed for Draco's life.

Draco was still standing as he faced Sebastien, his wand in front of him and Sebastien's pistol lying on the floor. "Who the hell is this and why did he have one of those guns?"

"You bitch," Sebastien spat, holding his wrist where Samira had pushed back against him and twisted it as she fell to the floor.

"Stun him, Draco!" she warned, scrambling towards the gun.

She screamed as Sebastien dove behind her and pushed her in front of him.

"Coward!" Draco snarled.

He was thankful when Samira kicked the gun away; having it disappear gave them the advantage. What didn't give them the advantage was the knife that appeared in the Sebastien's hand and that was now held against Samira's neck as he held her from behind.

"Let me guess; you must be Sebastien," Draco spat.

The handsome man smiled at Draco. "And I do not know who you are," he said in heavily accented English. "You are Samira's lover, no?"

"That is none of your business, you mongrel. Let go of her, or I'll kill you," Draco scowled. "I am not above using an unforgivable curse."

"The minute the spell leaves your mouth, I will slit her throat, so take care, Samira's lover," Sebastien said slowly. "Now, put your wand down slowly."

"No," Draco replied.

Before she knew what was happening, Samira saw a streak of blue light emerge from Draco's wand and she felt Sebastien fall behind her, nicking her cheek with the knife as he fell to the floor. Suddenly, she was in Draco's arms, her breath faltering as she felt her vision blur with tears, her cheek sting with the new cut and her head throb with the old pain.

"Oh, Samira, what did he do to you?" Draco breathed against her hair. His hands shook as he held her tighter to him, as he kissed the top of her head.

"I can't believe you used a silent spell," she murmured into his chest. "I didn't even think of it... Draco, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, please forgive me."

"Shh, Sami, it's okay. None of this was your fault," he said. "Come, we have to floo the domestic Aurors and get him out of here."

Samira tentatively eased away from Draco's arms and hugged herself as she watched him tie up the unconscious Frenchman. She walked over to the floo and flooed the Ministry, asking for the Auror department to send some men to arrest Sebastien for breaking his parole, attempted homicide, and assault.


Nursing a mug of tea between her hands, Samira wiped at the tears forming in her eyes as Draco stepped into the kitchen after speaking with the Aurors. She handed him the cup of tea she had made for him and looked back down at the kitchen table as he sat down next to her.

"Did you clean up that cut?" he asked, taking a sip of his tea.

She nodded and pressed her hand to her mouth to prevent a choking sob from escaping.

"Sami," Draco sighed and brought her into his arms.

"I'm so weak, Draco. I'm so weak and I can't believe I ever let myself be with him. He was horrid to me and I was too scared to get help when I was with him… too scared to tell someone what was happening to me. I hated him, Draco. He made my life a living hell and I couldn't do anything about it…"

"Stop, Samira. Finish your tea and then grab some clothes because you're staying with me tonight. I'm not letting you out of my sight again," he said, rubbing her back and easing away from her.

She nodded quietly and they finished their tea in silence. Draco had owled Michael and Rosa telling them that he had found Samira and that everything was okay. He knew Samira wouldn't like her family worrying over her excessively.

When they reached his flat, Draco waited for Samira to change into some clothes that weren't covered in blood. He sat in his living room and felt his heartbeat speed up when she walked into the room in some sweatpants and a large t-shirt she had borrowed from him that she had never returned when they had broken up. Even at her most casual, she looked stunning to him.

She took a seat next to him on the couch and smiled wanly at him. "You never told me, Draco… did you see Paulette this morning?"

"You're serious? You almost died today and you want to know whether I saw Paulette this morning?"

"Did you?"

"Yes, I saw her," he answered curtly.

"Did you break up with her?"

"Does it matter to you if I did or not?"

"Yes," she replied softly. "It does."

"Why?" he wondered aloud.

"Because I don't want you to be with her," she admitted. "If you'll listen, I'm ready to tell you everything. I don't know why it was so hard before, but I want to tell you everything that has led to this point in time. I want you to know me inside and out and I want you to be the only one who knows everything about my past."

Draco nodded silently and reached his hand out to her, weaving his fingers with hers. She smiled at the gesture and took a deep breath before beginning her story.

"I was in my fourth year at Beauxbatons when I first met Sebastien. He was a sixth year student and was the most popular boy at school. He was handsome and funny and athletic and basically the image of perfection. Along with every other girl in the school, I developed a fancy for him and he took notice of me one night while I was studying for my exams. We were sharing a table in the library and he started talking to me.

"I was extremely nervous, talking to the most popular boy in school, but I was excited as well. I had never had a boyfriend and my flirting skills were pretty much nonexistent, but Sebastien made me feel good about myself and he was a very talented charmer. Seeing as how Beauxbatons students only go to school for six years, Sebastien graduated that year and the night before his graduation, he asked if I would be his girlfriend.

"We maintained a long distance relationship since he was living in Paris and I was still in school. We wrote each other and he visited on the weekends. I found out later that he was cheating on me with a girl he had met in the city, but at the time, I was completely oblivious and didn't find out about his devious reputation until after the abuse started."

"What a bastard," Draco said quietly. "I should have killed him when I had the chance."

Samira smiled at him and squeezed his hand. "When I graduated, he asked me to move in with him and I was a stupid seventeen year old, ready to make my own decisions, so I agreed. While I lived with him, I started realizing that we weren't compatible. He was incredibly bad-tempered and I also discovered that he had a drinking problem."

"That's why you don't drink alcohol," Draco said.

She nodded and continued. "When he was drunk, he would hit me. The first time had been an accident, but the second wasn't. I left him after the second time he hit me. I wasn't some man's punching bag and I certainly didn't deserve to be around to watch him slowly kill himself with alcohol.

"I wish I could say that my history with him ends there, but like I said before, I was a complete idiot. I came back to England when I was eighteen, and I stayed with my parents, taking an intern position at my dad's company. Six months after I had arrived in England, Sebastien came to my parent's house and told me that he had gotten help, that he had gone to a rehabilitation facility and that he had done it all 

for me. He was extremely sorry for ever hurting me and that without me he realized that he couldn't go on with his life.

"I genuinely believed him and decided to go back to France with him. For the first month or so, he was never drunk in front of me. He did go out with his mates and drink, but I don't think he was ever drunk. One night, I think he relapsed and came home completely inebriated. I was so mad at him, Draco, and I was so mad at myself! I had been a fool, because he clearly hadn't gotten any help. So, I yelled at him and started packing my things."

At this point, Samira's eyes filled with tears and she stiffened at her place beside Draco.

He brought her into his arms, wrapping them around her waist and placing his chin on top of her head. She gasped with a sob and buried her face into his neck. "I didn't know he had a knife…"

Draco's body went completely still and his arms tightened around her.

"He saw me packing my things and just went ballistic: yelling at me, ripping clothes out of my hands, and then I saw the knife. He had picked it up from the kitchen and in that instant I had never been more scared in all of my life. I dropped everything and backed away from him, trying to calm him down, but he wouldn't let go of it… he was completely out of his mind with alcohol.

"I tried to run and I tried to move, but I was too slow. I don't even think he knew what he was doing, but all of a sudden, I felt a stinging pain in my abdomen and I looked down to see blood."

She let out a shuddering breath and hugged Draco closer, his presence soothing as she retold the story for the first time.

"I just pushed him away once I regained my senses and he hit his head on the coffee table and passed out. I took all of my stuff and showed up on Michael and Rosa's doorstep as fast as I possibly could. They took me to an emergency clinic near their house and that night I found out that I would never be able to have kids. The knife had torn through my uterus and one of my fallopian tubes."

With that final confession, the sobs began anew and Draco held the only woman he ever loved against his body with renewed vigor and affection. He kissed her temple and murmured words of comfort against her cheek as he felt the pain she had held in all those years.

He held her until he heard her cries die down and her breathing even out against his neck. He smiled softly as he realized she had tired herself out from crying and from going through such an ordeal all in one day.


When Samira awoke, she had a moment of confusion as to her whereabouts. She was in a bed, that was for certain. But there was someone sleeping next to her. She squinted her eyes and sighed with relief that Draco was next to her and not Sebastien, as she had been dreaming about.

She burrowed closer to Draco and fell asleep again against the man who she had never stopped loving and who she would never stop loving. She vowed to herself that in the morning, she was going to tell him how she felt and convince him that they belonged together no matter how crazy she was or how weak she was… she was going to prove to him that their happiness together should go on despite her failure to ever have children.

She just hoped that he didn't want to have kids as much as she did. She had come to terms with the fact that she would never hold her own baby in her arms. It still hurt when she saw women with children or when she even saw her own niece, but there were worse things in life. If she had Draco by her side, then all the bad things wouldn't seem so bad.


...


a/n: how can I possibly apologize for taking so long with this chapter? I mean, come on! It's been nearly three months (maybe more) and I'm so, so, so, so, so sorry! I hope you can all forgive me! Thank you for the reviews and for being so patient! The chapter title comes from the song "Viva la Vida" by Coldplay.