Night Thoughts

Author: Vicky



Category: romance

Summary: Elizabeth can't sleep…

Season/Sequel: season 2

Spoiler: Intruder (2-02)

Rating: K

Archives: my website, others ask please, I never refuse

Disclaimer: I own neither the show nor the characters. I don't earn any money; I just do it for fun.

Author's Note: Just a short, sweet Sparky fix. Thanks to my beta, Jaclyn.

You have a go !

Elizabeth always thought she knew better than sleeping with her military leader. But here she was, in his bed, with him asleep behind her, an arm draped across her middle. She should be worrying about rumours that could spread around Atlantis but actually she didn't care. Even if she wanted to stop whatever she and John had, she couldn't.

When she was on Earth, she intended to tell Simon about John but she never summoned up the courage. Nobody knew about them on Atlantis and to be honest, she wanted to keep it a secret on Earth too. Nonetheless, knowing that Simon had someone else in his life crushed her heart. She spent long years with him and she loved him; she simply wasn't in love with him anymore. And he didn't need to know she moved on too, a long time before she told him to in her message. Actually, she was relieved that he refused to come along to Atlantis; she wouldn't know what to do if he accepted. She probably should have chosen between him and John, and God helped her, she wouldn't have known which one.

Pushing these thoughts to the back of her head, she closed her eyes, hoping to fall asleep soon.

"You ok?" John whispered from behind her, the arm around her waist tightening.

"Did I wake you?" she asked, turning in his embrace.

"Nope. What is it that keeps you awake Elizabeth?"

"Nothing. Go back to sleep," she said, kissing him lightly on the lips and snuggling further more in his arms.

"Elizabeth, you know you can tell me everything."

"Yeah. But it's really nothing."

"If you can't sleep because of that then it's important."

Elizabeth sighed, knowing he wouldn't let her go before she told him what was really bothering her. Her eyes fixed on his, she finally talked:

"It's about Simon."

She felt him tense up at her words.

"What about him?" he managed to say after a few seconds of silence.

"I should have told him about us. I just feel guilty that he thinks he's the one at fault. After all, I'm the one who told him to move on. He deserved to know I did it a long time ago."

"Would you have felt better if you had told him?"

"I really don't know."

"What would you have done if he had chosen to come to Atlantis?"

Elizabeth closed her eyes for a moment; she knew that question was coming. She took a deep breath and opened her eyes. What she saw in his eyes finally told her the answer to the question she was asking herself since she set foot on Earth.

"I would have told him that I moved on, that I'm with a man I deeply care about. That even if I still love him, it was over long before I left."

She hadn't often been so sure about something in her life. When she saw John's eyes lightened, she knew he was hoping for that answer. She felt him tighten his arms around her while he placed a light kiss on her forehead. He said nothing: he just held her dearly as if his life was depending on it.

Time was not for confessions of pure, strong and undying love; they weren't ready for that. They just took their relationship one day at a time and that was enough for them… for the moment.