(A/N: Okay, this was just a random idea I had. Forgive me for not working on my other stories! I couldn't resist writing this one! But, this one is based off the fact that Shego was never hit by a comet and never got her powers. It's just a quick oneshot. I just thought it would be funny.)
It had started out as a joke. I had been able to leave every guy I didn't want to be with anymore without having to break up with him. How? Simple. I managed to develop the skills of knowing what a person prefers. So, I tell them exactly the opposite of what they want, and they soon try to sneak out of the relationship without realizing that's what I wanted them to do. My friends joke about it all the time. But, I'm getting close to the age of thirty. It's still a few years off, but I'm close enough that they're now bugging me about never having had a serious relationship. Even still, they decided to place a bet with me.
We were hanging out at our traditional bar, just a simple night out. It was about one in the morning, and we were all tipsy. And, as usual, the topic of my many interesting ex's came up.
"Girl, you haven't had a decent relationship yet!" laughs Monique. I shrug.
"None of them were what I was looking for."
"You don't say," says Bonnie, rolling her eyes. She'd become an addition to our group after we finished high school and went to college. She had seemed to mellow out and actually not be so bitchy. "You managed to get rid of all of them without having to say anything."
Wade laughs. He had finally left his room and entered college. He is currently taking some classes on law, for entertainment.
"They had no idea what was going on. They ran off so fast and didn't even realize you happily watched them go," he says.
"It's easy. You find out what they don't want, then send them running for the hills by pretending you want just that."
"I bet that wouldn't work if one of them actually loved you," says Monique. I scrunch up my face in a frown.
"Love? I never make it past two months."
They all laugh.
"I bet there's someone out there who wouldn't go running." Ron grins. I roll my eyes.
"Yeah right. I bet I could have them gone in a month."
Bonnie grins mischievously.
"Okay, let's gamble." She leans closer to the center of the table. I lift an eyebrow. Everyone else leans closer as well.
"What kind of gamble?" I ask.
"I bet we could pick out someone from this place and you won't be able to get them to run off like the others."
"You're going to pick someone from the bar? Eww, we know most of them already, and they're not dating material."
"How 'bout this," pipes up Monique. "I have a friend I can introduce you to."
"It's not going to be another Mike, is it? He was an ass." I butt in. She laughs.
"No, it's not another Mike." Her eyes twinkle. "How 'bout we spice it up more? How 'bout we make the bet harder by hooking you up with a chick?"
"WHAT?!" I shriek. Several heads turn our way, but we ignore them. Wade and Ron have brightened at the idea and Bonnie busts out laughing. "A chick?!"
"Hell yeah," Monique says, grinning madly. "Chicks are totally different from guys. They're also twice as hard to get rid of. I bet you couldn't get her to leave."
I open my mouth to protest, but Bonnie beats me to it.
"Perfect idea! A chick would totally be different!"
Wade and Ron are practically squirming in their seats.
"We've got no objection," says Wade. I roll my eyes.
"I bet you don't." I give Monique and Bonnie a hard look. "Does it have to be a chick? I mean, I don't swing that way."
"What, you worried you might actually have to tell her you wanna break up?"
I huff at her and look away, flicking my hand airily.
"Of course not. I just don't think it's fair to her."
They roll their eyes.
"Sure, Kim." She shakes her head. Monique nearly bounces up and down excitedly.
"So it's settled then! You have to break up with this chick without actually telling her you want to break up! She has to be the one to run away. And," I swear she looked like she could play the Cheshire cat with that smile. "I have the perfect girl to introduce you to!"
I moan, burying my face in my hands.
"You can't be serious! Do I have to do this? And how do you know a chick like that anyway?"
"At a party, she asked me to dance and I told her I had a boyfriend. We ended up hanging out anyway, cause she was friends with my boyfriend. Anyway, after my boyfriend and I broke up, she and I still talked." She shrugs. "We hang out with some mutual friends every now and then."
I glare at all of them.
"I really don't want to do this."
"Well, you have no choice! I'll introduce you tomorrow!"
I frown, pointing a finger at them.
"You can't tell her about the bet! That would be cheating!"
They laugh, holding up their hands.
"We won't tell," they insist. I grumble under my breath about being stuck with sadistic friends as they laugh and nudge me.
"Okay, the bet is going to be a hundred bucks," Bonnie says with a smirk. "Monique and I bet you won't be able to ditch her."
Ron and Wade exchange looks.
"Well, I side with Kim," says Wade. "I've been dumped one too many times myself. Chicks are hard to please."
All women present roll their eyes. Ron laughs.
"I bet she won't run, because having met who I think Monique is talking about, I know Kim won't stand a chance." He ducks under my glare. "Sorry Kim, but I gotta say you might just loose this one, and for the same reason Wade says you'll win."
I roll my eyes.
"Whatever." I look at Monique. "Do I at least get a name?"
She grins coyly.
"Nope. You just have to find out tomorrow."
I pout, resting my head on the table.
"You all suck."
"But you love us anyway!" cheers Bonnie.
After another hour, we all go home. I head to bed wondering what the heck I had gotten myself into and what the girl would be like. I didn't sleep well that night.
I'm sitting at the coffee shop at the counter. I had decided upon an airy green skirt and a comfortable white turtleneck. I wore a green pendant and a pair of small gold earrings. I'm doodling all over my napkin, repeating a mantra in my head saying "I don't want to be here, I don't want to be here". I'm so focused on my doodling I don't hear the person coming up behind me.
"Excuse me, Kim?"
I jump, nearly falling off of the stool. I swivel around on the stool and face the newcomer.
She's a little taller then me, long black hair falling loosely down her back in lush waves. She's wearing a pair of tight black pants and a button up blouse with the sleeves rolled up. She looks fit, and her green eyes dance as she waits for me to finish examining her. I notice a single white lily held gently in her long tan fingers. I blush when she holds it out to me.
"My name's Shego. Nice to meet you, Kim."
I gingerly take the lily, trying to figure out what to do next. Damn my friends! Bah, at least they picked a looker. I watch her over the lily, desperately trying to figure out what I'm supposed to say.
"N-nice to meet you too." Dang it! I'm stuttering! Great!
Shego only smiles.
"Want to go for a walk?"
I nod mutely, standing to follow her as she leads me out of the coffee shop. We wander around silently, until she leads me to a park. We take a seat at one of the many benches on one of the lesser used paths. I still have no idea what to say, and she just stares out across the park with a small smile on her face. I silently vow to strangle my friends.
"Um, so… what do you do?" I ask.
"I own a small bookstore downtown."
"Really?" I ask, slightly more interested. "Is it just a regular book store, or is it more genre specific?"
"Just a regular book store, but we take all the books they'll give us. We got all kinds of genres."
"What about you?"
"Me? I have a secretary job at an insurance company, and on weekends I work part time at the gym down town." I refrain from admitting that I also still play hero part time.
She lifts a dark eyebrow.
"You work part time at a gym?"
I feel myself blush and look away.
"Yeah, I like to swim at the pool they have. If I work there, I get to swim for free."
"We'll have to go swimming sometime."
We end up chatting away the rest of the day, going out to eat to a pizzeria. I actually find myself having a fun time, and for the first month, I forget about the bet entirely. The second month finds us at our first kiss.
We just finished dinner and were at the movies. I thought I was still adjusting to holding hands, when at one point, I turn to her to make a comment about the last scene, and she leans in and gently brushes her lips against mine. Then she just turns back to the movie with a smile. My jaw hit the floor. I couldn't move. I remember not seeing the rest of the movie, nor did I realize we had walked out of the theater afterwards. I had followed her blindly, my hand in hers. After I got home and she had left, I couldn't help but think to myself, "it's time she goes". I was panicked. That was the point I started to try and ditch her.
We would go out to eat, and I would change my mind six times before we got there. When we talked about things, I took the opposing view. I'd forget to call, or I'd tell her I was busy if we were to meet. One day I told her I needed space. She looked surprised, but she left me alone. Then, at the end of the week, she called to check on me and see if I was okay. I told her I just wanted a little bit more time alone. She agreed. Again, at the end of that week, she called to check on me. Most times, the guy wouldn't call the second week.
Seeing as that tactic hadn't worked, I changed tactics and started calling her all the time and spending all my free time with her, trying to smother her. To my complete shock, she enjoyed it. When ever we disagreed she wouldn't get mad, she would just smile and say she could see where I was coming from, even if she didn't agree. Every time I tired to piss her off, rock the boat, or even just annoy her a little bit, she would just smile. It was driving me insane. I meet up with my friends and tell them my frustrations.
Bonnie burst out laughing.
"I told you that you couldn't do it!"
I scowl at her.
"Shut up! God, I can't take it! Nothing I do has any effect on her! She just smiles! She never stops smiling!"
"Looks like I might be out of a hundred dollars soon."
I glare at him.
"Can't you help me think of anything?!" I whine, sipping on my caramel macchiato. "I can't get her to crack at all! And it's not like I can use kids as an excuse because obviously that wouldn't be an issue!"
They laugh again. Bonnie smirks.
"Well, you could always just break up with her."
"What do you think I've been trying to do?" I grumble. She shakes her head.
"If you really want to break it off that bad, just come out and tell her you want to break up. Or, hadn't that occurred to you?"
My eyes widen.
"You mean, just tell her I don't want to see her?"
"I can do that?"
She slaps her forehead.
"Kim, please don't tell me that thought never crossed your mind."
"But, I've never said that before. To anyone." They all stare at me. "What?"
"You're serious?" she asks. I nod, confused. "I thought you were yanking our chain. You mean you've never actually broke it off with someone like that?"
I shake my head no.
"Oh my god Kim," cries Monique. "You're doomed."
My brows knit.
"What?!" I ask in frustration. "Wasn't it part of the bet that she be the one to break it off?"
"I meant you just had to get her to leave. I never seriously meant you had to make her be the one to officially call it off." She shakes her head. "That, and I really didn't think you would last this long."
"Then why the hell am I doing this?!" I slap the table. "Psh! Whatever! Watch, it will be over next week!"
I snatch my coffee and storm out the door. They watch me go in silence. Finally, when the door closes behind me, they turn to each other.
"You really think she can do it?" asks Ron. Bonnie looks unsure.
"I don't know. I can't believe she hasn't done it before."
"I know she can't. I also think I just lost my hundred bucks."
They all gape at him.
"What do you mean? You saw her! She just said she was going to end it!" says Ron. Wade laughs.
"Nah, I think she likes Shego more then she lets on. That, and I talked with Shego the other day. She's totally head over heels for Kim. There's nothing Kim could say that would keep her from chasing her. She also finds it highly amusing that Kim seems to have weird 'mood swings'." Wade laughs again. "Really, I think Kim bit off more then she can chew this time. We've already lost this bet. I bet you my share."
Shego and I are sitting in her living room. Actually, I'm sitting on the couch while she watches me from behind it. She leans against the wall while I pout at the TV.
"What's the matter?" she asks. She can't help but chuckle when I don't answer. "Did I do something wrong?" She moves to the couch and leans down to rest her forearms on it. "Are you going to talk with me or just sit there and pout?" When I don't answer, she lifts an eyebrow, propping her chin in her hand. "Not that I mind. You're cute when you pout."
I can't help but blush, my frown growing more fierce.
"Anything I can do to make you smile? How about some ice cream? A movie?"
"You're not helping," I answer moodily.
"No? How about a nap? A back rub?"
"You're not gonna make me smile," I mutter. She grins and pushes a few strands of red hair behind my ear.
I can feel her watching me, and I finally snap.
"Argh! You're so infuriating!" I throw my hands up in the air. Her other eyebrow joins the first.
"Am I now?"
"Yes! You don't get mad at anything! When I need space, you give it to me! When I don't, you're right there! I can yell, argue, and back talk, and you just grin! Are you broken or something?!" I cross my arms in a huff. "Seriously! I don't get it! Every body else ran for the hills! Why are you still here?"
"Princess," she says. I look away. "Kimmie." I still don't look at her. She gets up and walks around the couch, kneeling in front of me. She smirks, grabbing my chin and making me look at her. "You want to know why I'm still here? It's because I can't make myself leave. I fell for you the first time we met. No matter what you say or what you do, that won't change. So, huff all you want. I'm not going anywhere."
I try to keep my pout, but it falters then fails, tears stinging my eyes.
"Damn. There goes my record."
She bursts out laughing, then gently pulls me in for a kiss.
(A/N: Oh, and everyone might be a little OC, mainly Kim and Shego. But anywho! tell me what you think lol, cause I wanna know!)