Month's to rebuild, seconds to destroy.
Summary. . . . They thought that they could rebuild there lives after the Burton's died, but they thought wrong. Sequel to Dangerous Beings. Mentions of Sam's rapes and abuse in later chapters. Hurt and angst Sam and Dean. Rated T.
Disclaimer. . . Still belong to kripkie and still no money being made.
A.N. . . . . Well it's come to an end. I just have a few quick thank you's to get through:-
Thanks to all of you out there for all the fantastic reviews and support for this fic and also thank you to all of you who just took time out to read.
Red and sammysgirl thanks for all the support, suggestions and laughs.
Perfectharmony, keep in mind what I said in the pm. Make sure you pass!
Vesper, I'm glad to know that I didn't get you committed!
And Penguin, got your fic out, I'm waiting!
Now that I have got them out of the way, enjoy the short epilogue, Peanut x
To say that breakfast the next day was hard to get through would be an understatement. Sam, after some persuasion by Dean, had agreed to join the others but his nerves and fears of rejection were still playing disturbing scenarios in his mind. He still point blank refused to look at anyone other than Dean and he wouldn't answer any questions directed his way. His hands shook so fiercely that he could barely pick up his cutlery. Even when he succeeded the shaking made it impossible for him to cut any of the food on his plate, sending pieces of bacon, egg and toast every where. His frustrations getting the better of him, Sam left the room in tears, fleeing to the safety and solitude of the bedroom.
Things had taken a turn for the worst again after that meal. Sam refused to leave the room, except to go to the bathroom. He would eat little of what was taken up to him and would refuse to let anyone but Dean or their Dad into the room. By the end of the first month John's spirit was waning, but Dean's? Dean's seemed to grow stronger with each day that passed. He would sit for hours at a time trying to engage Sam in stupid conversation topics. Anything and everything was up for discussion, be it hunts, cartoons, sports, movies, family Dean always had a different one each time. Sometimes Sam would join in even if his answers were most of the time monosyllabic, but mostly he would just sit and listen, as Dean rambled on for hours. But Dean point blank refused to give up.
Towards the end of the second month, Dean's persistence finally began to pay off. Little things began to change in Sam. Certain days Sam would come down stairs for a while. Others he would smile a smile that still didn't quite reach his eyes, but was a start. On other days he would speak to some one other than Dean and on other days he would venture outside, all be it no too far away from the house and only if there was somebody else present. It didn't seem like much, but to Dean it felt like he had won the World Series.
The only down side to Dean's joy were the nightmares. Every single night Sam would have one. Waking the whole household with his screams and cries for help. Still not knowing that it was Lesley that had taken him, it was always Sherry's name that fell from his lips, Sherry's name that he pleaded to leave him alone. All Dean could do was sit and wait until Sam had rode each one out, offering his words and his comfort but unsure if it ever got through.
It was at the end of the second month that Caleb came up with a plan that he though might just help Sam some more. So it was that Caleb, Joshua, Bobby, Jim, George, John and Dean were all congregated outside Jim's house late one evening and were watching as Sam, tears streaming down his face, burnt the video and the photographs. As the last photo curled up at the sides and burst in to flames Sam looked around at the small group, wanting to say something but the words wouldn't come.
Instead he walked up to each man one by one, and although he still felt very much uneasy in doing so, embraced them. As he reached Caleb he leant in closer and whispered words that only the two of them could hear.
"I always thought of you as my brother too, Caleb."
As Caleb's eyes filled and his head dropped, Sam moved on to his Dad, the embrace twice as hard and twice as long.
"I'm sorry Dad. I love you."
John had to choke back his own emotions before he could answer his son. "Hey Sam, you don't ever apologize for any of this, you hear me? None of this is your fault. I love you very much too."
Finally it came around to Dean. Sam stopped in front of his brother and silently conveyed with his eyes that he needed to speak privately with him. Dean, always in tune to what Sam wanted, instantly understood and asked the others if they could be excused. Walking further away from the group, the two siblings ended up sitting side by side on the hood of the Impala.
"Dean, I'm. . . . "
"Sammy, I don't want to hear to hear you apologize. Dad was right, you're not to blame. You're not the one who needs to say sorry. I am."
"What? Dean, no, Why?"
"Sam, I let you get taken again. I let you be hurt by that bitch and raped again. I broke my promise to you and for that I am truly, truly sorry. I hope that one day you can forgive me?"
"Dean, there's nothing for me to forgive you for. I never blamed you. I know that I said I did in the church, but I was hurt and angry and lashed out at you, blamed you, because you were there. I'm sorry I did that, you didn't deserve it."
"Sam. . . . "
"No, Dean, don't. Please stop blaming yourself. I know that I'm being selfish, but I need you to stop thinking that way. I need you to help me Dean. I can't do this on my own. This. . . . This ritual tonight has helped, but I still feel dirty and angry and used and hurt. I don't think I can make it if you don't help me. But for you to help me, you have to stop blaming yourself. I need you, Dean."
"Sam, whether I am blaming myself or not I'll always be there for you, brother. Every step that you take towards recovering from this, I'll be right along side you. High's and low's, I'll be there to make sure that you're okay."
Dean hesitated slightly before answering. "I promise, Sam."
Sam turned to Dean and threw his arms around his brother, holding on tighter and longer than any of the previous ones. "I love you Dean."
"I love you too, Sammy."
As Dean tightened his own embrace around his brother, he wondered what the future would hold for Sam. He knew that by burning the photos and video it had helped Sam, but he also knew that they had a very, very long road ahead of them to get Sam truly back. He had been reluctant to make Sam that promise, but he had thought to himself that it was a promise that he could keep, he would be there for Sam, no matter what. Plus it was a promise he truly believed Sam needed to hear.
Neither one of the brother's could ever know though, that six years later that promise would also be shattered.
A.N. . . . . This is the end, my friends! Well for now any way. Hey don't blame me! Blame snfan who gave me a plot bunnie!
Just a couple more thank you's:- Cavetrollgrl, Irish, Candy, JoyofReading and 1Pagan3. I couldn't have done it without you all pushing me! God don't I sound like I'm accepting an Oscar or something. Just thanks, Peanut x