Disclaimer- I won't even bother.

This is Niou's oneshot crack moment. All that's left is Renji, Yagyuu, Yukimura, and Kirihara. Well I'm halfway. And then after that maybe I should do Hyoutei crack...

I would love to write angst and romance, but I have NO clue how to make stories angsty and romancey(if that's a word). Right now I'm in love with the Platinum Pair, Tango Pair, and the Data Pair (they're the best xD) and I would love to write stories on them...Maybe if I made it cracky?

Cracky romance? Would that even work::ponders::

Enough of my babbling.


It was 11:00 at night and our trickster was readying himself for bed. While brushing his teeth, he was thinking of what kind of pranks he should do on fukubuchou and the others tommorrow. So much fun.

After brushing his teeth and saying 'Good night' he settled into his bed and stared at the ceiling until he drifted off to sleep...

Niou was in a meadow surrounded by bunnies and such. The birds came to him and sang. Brushing them off, he went deeper into the meadow to see a figure not far from him. He ran up to meet the figure in front of him. But he almost fell in surprise at who it was.

Yagyuu.

Not only that, Yagyuu was in a dress surrounded by deers and all that jazz. Looking up at Niou he giggled.

He giggled.

This was just wrong. But Niou really didn't have time to think because Yagyuu spoke.

"My prince!" Yagyuu said in an un-Yagyuu way. "You have come to save me!"

Niou really didn't want to be here. He tried to wake up but it was one of those dreams where you really couldn't wake up. He was so screwed.

"Are you okay?" the princess Yagyuu asked.

"Y-Yeah. I'm fine." No he wasn't.

Yagyuu walked up to him. He was still taller than Niou. He still looked the same only that he was in a dress. Which was totally wrong of course.

"W-Wil you marry me?" Niou said. And then he looked thunderstruck. He proposed! How?!

"I would love to!" and Yagyuu glomped him. Niou really wanted to run himself through with a sword. He thought of people who said that you could control your own dreams. This dream was controlling HIM. Just lovely.

Then the scenery changed and a huge sheep came out of nowhere.

"BAAA!" it cried.

Aw hell no. It was Lamb. And behind it was Sanada. A GIANT SANADA.

"Oh where is my son-in-law?!" Sanada bellowed.

Where was that sword when you needed it? He quickly looked around for something to kill himself with and noticed that Yagyuu disappeared.

At least he didn't have to be freaked out by a princess-like Yagyuu.

"OH THERE IS MY SON-IN-LAW!" Sanada bellowed yet again and picked up Niou.

'So this is what it's like to be picked up by King Kong...' Niou thought bitterly.

"BAAAA!"

Lamb was coming closer to him and she licked him like how a Husky would lick a little 3 year old.

He could see Lamb bright pink tongue coming closer to him...

Niou woke up in a cold sweat. 'What just happened?'

He turned on the light at looked at himself in the mirror. The color in his face disappeared. Well of course it would. If a sheep tried to marry you.

He stayed up for the rest of the night.

When the clock finally struck 7, Niou left his room to get ready for school. He was still scarred at what had happened previously. He quickly ate his breakfast, grabbed his bag and left his house.

On the way he bumped into Yagyuu. Niou looked up and screamed and ran the rest of the way to school. Yagyuu just gave him a weird look.

When he rushed into the classroom he saw Sanada. He screamed and ran into a broom closet.

He stayed in there for the rest of the school day. Even tennis practice.

Meanwhile, Sanada and Yagyuu were talking about Niou's odd behavior.

"It's like he thought I fed him to Lamb..."

"Or I wore a dress..."

"You know I happened to have a dream where you were in a dress Yagyuu." Sanada said looking surprised.

"I had a dream where you tried to make Niou marry Lamb." Yagyuu said looking equally surprised.

The two looked at each other and shrugged it off. Niou possibly could have the same dream as them.

Or could he?


here's Niou's crack fic.

i found out that I have this thing where I make everybody scream...weird...

well I hope you enjoyed it :D