Severus was very nervous about doing this. How could he hurt Lily so bad? He was walking to lunch and he saw her, sitting with her friends, Ameila Bones and Susan Abbot. She spotted him and waved. Her friends turned to him and then turned their backs on them. True, the only person who truly cared for him was Lily.
"I can't. I can't call her a mudblood." He thought. "But, if I don't Lucius will tell everyone how I feel. What if he tells her and she doesn't love me back?" He was very depressed. If only last night was the best he'd ever have, he wouldn't have almost spill the beans to Malfoy. "It's all that Potter's fault." He crutched his hand into a fist. "I'll get you, Potter!" He screamed out loud. People from different tables looked over to him. He didn't blush or get embarrassed He walked over to Gryffindor table to James.
"What do you want, Snivellus?" Sirius burst out. "Are you going to cry?" Remus was watching this fight, but he did glance at his book most of the time. Severus snatched the book from his hands.
"What rubbish are you reading, Lupin?" He looked at the title. "Isn't this a muggle book?" He threw it back to him. "You read muggle books." Remus didn't say anything. He was looking through the pages for damage. Fortunately, his book was still in good condition.
"Hey!" James stepped in. "No one makes fun of my friends! So what if he reads muggle books? At least he washes his hair." Lily ran up to the two boys, trying to stop them.
"Potter. Brace yourself." He took out his wand. Lily had a expression of pure terror.
"Stop it, Severus!" James took his out too. "No, James, stop! Both of you! STOP IT!!" James put his wand away; however, Severus still hand his out.
"This is between me and him. You keep out of this, you filthy little mudblood." Lily's eyes filled with tears. She left. James went following after her. Sirius gave Severus a glaring stare, Remus was reading his book, trying to be careful not to hit the wall again, and Peter just ran. He put his wand in his robes and walked to his table. Lucius was praising him.
"Alright!" He whispered. "You did it. I guess you really don't love her after all." Severus gave a smile. However, underneath that smile was the frown of a really depressed boy.
"I have to go, Lucius." He grabbed his bag and books and ran into the corridors.
He thought he should just apologize to her. He was running down the corridors and overheard Lily talking to Susan.
"I can't believe him!" She was saying. She seemed very angry.
"Oh, come on, Lily." Susan said. "I know what he called you was mean, but you could go with James."
"No. I mean James is pretty cute, and I know he would never call me a mudblood like Severus. But he's such a jerk." He relaxed when she insulted James. "But, Severus on the other hand he just has to insult me! He's a sweet guy sometimes. But I can't be with either one of them. They both have really bad qualities. Severus gets a kick out of insulting me and James loves himself too much!"
"Well, whatever you want. Maybe I could hook you up? With Remus possibly?" Susan asked hopefully.
"Susan, get it through your head. I can't be with Severus, James, or anyone who hangs around with James. Besides, do you know what James would do to Remus?"
"You're right. He'd probably kill him."
Severus sat down, and he couldn't help it; tears were flowing down his cheeks.
"So she doesn't love me. I love her, she hates me. It's what I deserve." He thought. He then took something out of his bag and threw it on the floor. Lily and Susan then came around that corner and found a slip of paper. Lily picked it up. Severus had thrown the note she had written him the day after the ball. She pocketed it.
"I've got to go, Susan." Lily sped off. "Severus! Severus!" She found him in the bleachers by the Quidditch field. "Severus. There you are." He put his book in front of his face, to cover his tears.
"What's wrong?" She took the book to find him crying. "Severus?" He brushed them away.
"Nothing. I'm fine." He wouldn't look her in eye. His eyes would always trail off somewhere else. She felt concerned.
"Here." She handed him the note. He just swiped it away. "What's the matter with you?"
"Nothing, I said!" She could swear she heard him mutter "mudblood," under his breath.
"Fine. I'll just go." He grabbed her wrist.
"No. Don't." She was shocked. "I'm sorry. I just wanted last night to be the best ever. But that stupid Potter ruined it."
"I don't know why you do this to me." She replied.
"Why do you think? I do it to hide my feelings! I love you so much and yet you seem to hate me!!" He bellowed. He stopped, and blush very deep red. "I told her. I told her the truth." He thought.
"Severus." She started, but he put his finger to her lips.
"It's nothing. I should go." He was about to leave until something grabbed his wrist. Lily was standing there, holding onto him. He stood there looking deeply into her emerald eyes. He moved his face closer and kissed her. They kissed for a few moments. And just when they broke apart, someone called his name.
The adult Severus Snape was looking into the Pensieve. He was gazing into his memories. He turned to find Professor Dumbledore.
"Are you alright, Severus?" He asked.
Severus hesistated to answer. "Yeah, I'm fine." He looked away from his memories and went to his desk. "I'm just fine, Headmaster. I'm very busy tonight, I need to correct some papers." He lifted up a stack on his desk. Dumbledore nodded and left. Once he was gone, Severus went back to the Pensieve to see him and Lily break apart and embrace. He smiled at this and went back to his desk. Lily Evans was Severus's Desire.