Title: Sexy no Jutsu
Disclaimer: Nuh-uh.
Rating: PG ( K+ ) – for pervy pubescent thoughts and brief mentions of nudity.
Spoilers: How can I spoil anything that hasn't actually happened?

Summary: Part of the "Lifelong Love" series. "The purpose of this week's assignment," Iruka began, standing before his class of Cadets with a straight back and a smug expression. "Is to learn how to disguise yourself as the opposite sex." Implied SasuHinaNaru.

Bonus tracks, even!

Btw, this occurs on the day of the presentation. Ie, immediately after the sexy no jutsu debacle.

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Alternate Ending

Suspended for a month, Sasuke groused inwardly. All because of that stupid dobe...'And my overwhelming urge to kill him,' he admitted to no one but himself.

The Uchiha prodigy leaned his head back until it rested against his front door, brooding quietly about his crappy day. His life had been taking a downward spiral lately and all because of some girl. A simpering, pathetic little princess who couldn't (or wouldn't) even fight her own battles! Someone he had to look after and worry about and fret over...

Well, no more of that crap. From henceforth, Sasuke would look after himself and no one else. Number one. Nombre un. Numero uno. Nummer ein...

Knock, knock, knock...

Sasuke started and leapt away from the door when the soft tapping intruded upon his thoughts. A visitor? He rarely got visitors anymore...people (even the fangirls) tended to leave him alone when he was in his teeny-tiny apartment, mostly out of fear that he would violently toss them out on their rump if disturbed.

Knock, knock, knock...

Whoever it was, they were damned persistent. Well, he would just have to try harder to ignore them, that was all. Slumping back against the door with his eyes closed, Sasuke settled in to listen to the rhythmic thumping until the idiot on the other side decided to give up and go home.

Knock, knock, knock...!

"Sasuke-san?" a muffled, yet familiar, voice called from behind the wooden barrier. Sasuke pulled his eyelids apart quickly, his heart suddenly launched into his throat where it collided with his Adam's apple. "Sasuke-san? Are - Are you in there...?"

Before she could knock again, Sasuke leapt into a standing position and opened the door (not too hastily, he hoped). Right there, standing on his threshold, was the root of his problems. "Hyuuga," he greeted sourly.

The heiress gulped and lowered her raised fist. "I – I came to s-see if you were alright," she explained, dropping her gaze to the nearly pristine "WELCOME" mat beneath her feet. It looked as if no one had used it. Ever.

"I'm fine," Sasuke intoned dully, using his own body as a barrier between her and the inside of his domain. He intended to end...whatever this was out here on his doorstep. "What do you want?"

"Oh...just...um...I – I – I – "

The Uchiha glared icily at the bumbling girl, well aware of what he was doing to her speech impediment. "Well? Spit it out."

Hinata took in a deep breath and seemed to steady herself. "I – I'm sorry you got suspended," she finally said, releasing the air in a whoosh of relief.

Sasuke stared at her incredulously. "Why?"

"Be-Because it's my fault," Hinata replied, beginning to twiddle her fingers nervously. "You were...um...defending me. I'm s-sorry."

Upon realizing that his stony cover was blown, Sasuke began to panic. As a result, his mood turned darker and his words harsher. "What makes you think that?" he spat at her.

Hinata barely flinched; maybe she was getting a little too used to his temperament. "Because...you were, weren't you?" She lifted her eyes to look straight into his, still poking her fingers together fretfully.

"No," the Uchiha denied, moving to close the door in her face.

Hinata, for once, was too fast for him. Placing a palm flat against the door, she held it open. As Sasuke put up little resistance against her, the attempt at keeping it open was successful. "You've been very...very kind to me," the heiress said, rushing out her words as a new pink stain spread across her face. "I – I know you don't like Naruto-kun's jokes and that you like to protect people, even when they don't know that they need it..."

'Not everyone...,' he thought to himself, knowing that he'd never say so to her. "And?"

"And...And I just wanted to say...," she trailed off, looking up at him almost desperately. "Thank you."

"I – You – " Sasuke stopped dead in the middle of what he'd intended to be a coherent sentence, absolutely baffled by what he was hearing. "What?"

"Thank you," Hinata reiterated, attempting a wary smile.

"You – " the Uchiha paused again, his heart beating so erratically in his throat that it was difficult to speak. He gulped it down and, before it could come back up, he quickly mumbled a, "You're welcome," and slammed the door shut. Hard.

Once the barrier was back in place between himself and the babbling Hyuuga heiress, Sasuke locked it and secured it with the chain. He then resumed his former position and slumped against the door, sliding down it until his rump hit the dirty tatami mat below.

"Stupid girls...," he muttered, slapping a hand to his forehead. It was hot to the touch – burning, really – and his clammy palm soothed the feverish skin. Nothing so simple helped the fluttering nausea that had erupted in his stomach, however; he closed his eyes and fought off the urge to vomit butterflies right in his entryway.

Deciding that he was definitely sick now, Sasuke hauled himself up and stumbled into his bedroom, intent on sleeping it off until his suspension was over. Depending on how he felt at the end of it, maybe he wouldn't go back at all...

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Author's Notes: Some of y'all probably recognize this as the ending I originally posted for this story, and you're right. I liked it (and it's in-your-face drama, lolz), but thought it was a little too OOC...thus, I made the executive decision to cut it out of the story flow and introduce it as an "alternate ending." If you prefer it, feel free to consider this the way the story really goes; it doesn't matter much in the long run of this series. All you really have to understand is that this whole episode ends awkwardly (which I hope comes across in both conclusions).

Btw, be sure to tell me which ending you preferred n.n As stated above, I'm partial to both, I just think the "official" conclusion fits better with the flow of the fic and the characters' personalities. But that's me.

Self beta'd (ooh, we're movin' up in the world...)

. ( . Ms Videl Son . ) .

Love can be black and white. SasuHina.