Date Written: August 6, 2007

Summary: Everything seems fine. Orihime is able to baby-sit Yachiru while Zaraki takes care of a few hollows, the zoo is entertaining Yachiru, and Ichigo is supposed to stop by there for his unknown fight. Nothing could go wrong! Who are we kidding, the eleventh division is involved here.

Flo: I was quite shocked that I got so many reviews for the first chapter, partly because there are so many fics posted and updated here that I thought not as many people would read it as opposed to other fandoms. Not that Flo is complaining! Thank you!

WARNINGS! Cursing… sheesh, that is pointless. And crack. More so than last chapter.

Hope you enjoy!


Another hollow defeated in less than 3.5 seconds by the great Zaraki Kenpachi. This would normally be followed by a grunt of annoyance due to the lack of actually effort involved in such a task, however this time was different. It was followed by a grin of pure animalistic joy with a tinge of odd sex appeal. Why? Simple. It was warm up for the battle of the century. Yes, Zaraki had been guaranteed a fight with Kurosaki Ichigo that day and his blood was boiling with excitement. He was so gosh darn happy that he hadn't stopped grinning ever since they got to the zoo. Which, he had to admit, was an odd place to fight. He took Ichigo to be someone who wouldn't want to be in such a public place to fight (the kid was a pansy with that, but as long as the pansy could fight).

Screw that, Zaraki thought as he got back into his gigai. He was promised a fight, so a fight he would get. No matter what. And Yachiru wouldn't lie to him about such a thing, she knew the consequences the entire world would end up facing. Besides, that Orihime girl had met them there and she was so infatuated with Ichigo that he was bond to show up sometime.

As he headed back to where he left Orihime with Yachiru, he noticed a large amount of people running towards the same area he was going. Gorillas must be popular, he thought. That is, until he heard what the people were saying.

"A little girl is in the gorilla pit?!"

Zaraki paused momentarily as that bit of information soaked into his brain. That could be one of two things. The first possibility was, of course, that Yachiru had gotten into the gorilla pit. The other? Yachiru had convinced some other little girl to go into the gorilla pit and/or pushed her in. Neither one sounded like it was something he wanted to deal with.

But with a frustrated sigh, he shoved his hands into his pockets and trudged onward to the unavoidable scene that lay before him.


Yachiru had an odd mixture of regret and happiness hanging above her. The happiness being from Ken-chan taking her to the zoo. The regret being she had made a small, little, tiny, lie that Ichi would be there in order to fight him. It was small because when she had run into Big Boobs the day before on one of her investigations of the city and as the two talked, Yachiru hinted that she really wanted to go to the zoo. Orihime gladly agreed and immediately began listing off all of the people that should come, one of them being Ichi. That was a good way to get Ken-chan to come, and she really thought he needed to get out and experience the real world a bit more.

Predictably, he had jumped on the offer and so they were off to the zoo the next day along with Pachinko who wanted to watch the fight. Big Boobs had met them at the zoo's entrance with some girl named Tasuki and said that Ichi and Pencil and everyone would meet them inside later. (1) Something to do with a stuffed animal on the loose, she wasn't listening. Meanwhile, Feathers was at home because he said that monkeys were ugly.

Yachiru didn't know why. She was having a great time with the gorilla she was being groomed by.


Sure enough, when Zaraki arrived there was Orihime leaning over the railing, that Tasuki girl trying to pull her away, and Ikkaku just leaning with his back to it. No Yachiru in sight. That meant she was the little girl in the gorilla pit. This was going to be a very worthless minute.

Shoving his way through the crowd and camera people, he grabbed the back of Orihime's collar above Tasuki and brought her to eye level with him. She looked a bit panicked, which she should have been. He had specifically told her to keep an eye on Yachiru at all times. She probably thought that he was exaggerating.

"Yachiru in there?" he asked.

"Well, you see," Orihime began, her hands frantically waving around, "she is in there with the gorillas and everything but she just wanted to have some fun! You know kids! Like, I remember when I was little I went into the boy's bathroom because I thought that it would be fun, and even though it was actually on accident, it was still very fascinating in there because they had these weird things that I was told are French sinks and-!"

Zaraki dropped her to Tasuki's shock in favor of seeing exactly where Yachiru was. It wasn't that hard because she was the only creature down there with pink hair. Said pink hair was currently having large gorilla hands running through it, picking out things and then putting it in it's mouth.

Does she have lice? Zaraki thought in dread that if it was so, what a pain in the ass it would be to get rid of them.

"We're really sorry, Zaraki-san!" Tasuki was saying from behind him. "We have no idea how she got down there!"

"Yeah," Zaraki muttered. "Hey, Ikkaku! Why haven't you grabbed her already?"

"I tried!" Ikkaku said, clearly a bit offended by this. "But that gorilla won't have any of it! I think it thinks Yachiru is her daughter or something."

Zaraki took a moment to ponder this and concluded that yes, it was quite possible for Yachiru to be mistaken by an ape for a monkey. Never mind that they are two different species.

"Hey!" Zaraki shouted. "Get your ass back up here, already!"

Yachiru looked up at Zaraki before smiling and waving. "Hi, Ken-chan!"

"Don't 'hi' me! I don't want to have to put up with you being covered in fleas and scratching all night! Besides, we got more important things to do!"

"But I need to spend time with Hairy Mom!"

"Hairy Mom? I thought Yamichika was enough of a mom for you."

"No, he's an estranged aunt!"

"Excuse me, sir?" someone said from behind him. "Is that your daughter?"


Yachiru looked around and didn't see any Ichi. Although, Ken-chan had come back from destroying a hollow so that was okay. He didn't look too happy, though, by the looks of how he picked up Big Boobs and practically glared at her. And then they barely got to talk when some lady interrupted them.

"You think something's wrong with Ken-chan, Hairy Mom?" Yachiru asked the ape that was still grooming her.

Hairy Mom grunted, which Yachiru took to mean, "I'm sure that Ken-chan is just getting edgy from wanting to fight Ichi. Don't worry, Yachiru-chan! Now, let's go play!"


Yachiru let Hairy Mom lift her up by the arm and place her on her back. Aside from the large amount of hair, it was as big as Ken-chan's back and almost as strong. But still not the same. Surprisingly, Ken-chan smelled better.


"Uh, yeah," Zaraki said, absent mindedly. "She belongs to me."

"How could you let your daughter fall into there?!" the woman shouted. "Weren't you watching her?!"

"Hey, I had stuff to do! Back off!" Zaraki really didn't have the patience to deal with people who didn't know what the hell they were talking about.

"And so that makes everything okay?!" some other lady said. "Your daughter is in the gorilla pit!"

"No shit!"

"Back off, lady!" that Tasuki girl suddenly butted in. "He told Orihime to watch her! And you try looking after some pink haired, sugar hyped girl!"

"How dare you speak to me like that, young lady!" the bitchy woman yelled.

"I'll speak to you however I want, this is none of your business! How about instead of spouting off how other people should raise their kids, looking at how you raise yours! Or better yet, try actually doing something here?!"

On and on they went, while Zaraki fumed at the entire situation. He hated to resort to such a tactic, but he honestly didn't want a bunch of people harassing him about why he attacked an endangered species, as if, "it had my kid" wasn't a good enough excuse. "I got candy," Zaraki said. He only needed his voice raised slightly to get the desired effect.

From the gorilla's back, Yachiru perked up and squealed, "Candy?!" She then paused, though, instead of running up the wall back to him. "Mmm, not right now, Ken-chan! I got some in my pocket and I'm kinda full!"

"What?!" Zaraki snapped his head to Orihime who was leaning over the railing again. "How much candy did you give her?!"

"Um," Orihime said, going into a thinking position. "Well, there was that ice cream, and gummi bears, and snow caps, and I had baked some cookies but Tasuki said that cookies weren't good for little kids so I instead bought her a crepe from a vender guy, and then when we went to see the birds she ate some bird seed and the same thing happened in the petting zoo, and-"

Zaraki had stopped listening to her after he realized Yachiru was probably due for a sugar crash any minute (not to mention need her stomach pumped). That would make it even harder to get her back up to them on her own. Things were getting annoyingly desperate.


Ikkaku was getting bored just standing around. Yes, his vice captain was in a gorilla pit but did everybody really have to make such a huge deal about it? She could handle herself. The only reason he was staying there was because of his captain, who he figured was just as fed up with things as he was. At least that Tasuki girl was keeping those nagging mothers off of his and his captain's case. He really didn't want an earful from some annoying lady.

He was brought out of his brooding party by his cell phone vibrating. Sadly it wasn't a signal for a hollow, but just a regular call and from Yumichika. "Yeah?" Ikkaku answered.

"What the hell is going on there?!" Yumichika screeched causing Ikkaku to pull the phone away from his ear.

"What are you talking about?! There aren't any hollows attacking, everything's fine!"

"Then explain to me why I am seeing a news story about Yachiru-chan falling into a what? … Gorilla pit?! Ugh, what disgusting creatures. I'm so glad I skipped out on this."

"Wait, you're watching the news… and it's talking about our vice captain?"

"Yes, it's a breaking news story and everything. Why haven't you gotten her out of there, yet?! She's going to be invested with fleas and ticks and god knows what else!"

"We're working on it!"

"No, you're not! I can see you on the T.V. right now and you're just standing there."

"That's because I'm talking to you, idiot!" Ikkaku paused in his conversation to look up at the camera five feet away from his face. A dangerous smile spread across his face as he said to the camera man, "Get that thing out of my face now." The man shook a bit before running off to go film something else. Ikkaku snorted at how easily the man was scared by such a simple threat. He didn't even say what he would do if he didn't.

"Ew. Ikkaku, must you make such a disgusting face on national television?"

"Who asked you?!"

"Enough of this, is anybody doing anything? What about Captain?"

"Well, he yelled at her a bit and, hang on a second!"


Yachiru felt funny. Not one minute ago she was ready to wrestle with one of her new gorilla family members, but all of a sudden she wanted to go to sleep. The last time she remembered feeling like this was when she still had to take naps and that was a long time ago.

When she was having a yawning fit, she heard a door opening. Glancing over her shoulder, she saw a guy in a brown uniform creeping towards them with a hose. He looked nervous.

"Don't worry, little girl," he said just barely above a whisper. "Don't be scared. We're going to get you right out of here and back to your daddy, okay?"

"I'm not scared," Yachiru said. "But you are." Really, if the guy wanted to "save" her, he was doing a crappy job. What rescuer's knees knocked together that much? It was kind of funny and Yachiru would have made fun of him if she wasn't so tired. She yawned again as she said, "Hairy Mom, there's a guy behind you with a hose."

Apparently, Yachiru can speak gorilla because Hairy Mom promptly turned around and let out a vicious roar. Yachiru quickly hopped off while Hairy Mom charged at the knocky knees guy and the crowd above gasped and screamed in terror. Yachiru just sat down on some leaves, exhaustion quickly washing over her. She was about to shut her eyes to go to sleep, when a loud thump! reverberated through the ground making her shake a bit.

"Ken-chan!" Yachiru squealed. "You came to play!"

"No, I came to get you out of here already," Ken-chan grumbled. "Do you have any idea how many people are freaked out up there and harassing me because of it?" Yachiru simply smiled at him as her answer.

Knocky knees seemed to have escaped, but Hairy Mom was obviously still agitated. It only increased when she saw Ken-chan too close to Yachiru. She suddenly began to charge at him instead, making the crowd erupt into more screaming and giving Yachiru a head ache. Of course, that could have been because of all of the giant lollipop she had finished right before she jumped in there. And the jaw breakers. And the m&m's. And all the other stuff she had that she couldn't remember.

Placing her attention back between Ken-chan and Hairy Mom, she saw to no surprise that Ken-chan hadn't moved from his spot. If anything, he had just straightened his back to put himself at his full height. Hairy Mom was still charging, but stopped to throw herself up at her full height and roar at him. In return, Ken-chan bared his teeth at her to show he wasn't scared at all. There was a pause as everyone was silent, except for Pachinko head who was yelling into the phone (something along the lines of, "I don't know why there is a huge white spot on Yachiru's dress!").

Ken-chan was looking directly into Hairy Mom's eyes, teeth still showing, as she just stared back. Everyone's breath was being held while Yachiru simply looked back and forth between the two. All was quiet. Until, Hairy Mom slowly turned around and stalked off.

Ken-chan did the same, and lifted Yachiru by the arm and onto his back and proceeded to climb back up the wall. She had to admit, even though Hairy Mom groomed her, her back wasn't as safe feeling as her Ken-chan's.


"Yachiru-chan, you're okay!" Orihime exclaimed once Zaraki was back.

"Of course she is," Ikkaku said. "See, Yamichika? She's fine. Now quit shouting at me, it wasn't even my fault!"

"That's weird," Orihime continued. "I would think that those reporters would be scrambling to ask you a bunch of questions. I mean, it's not everyday you see someone face off with a gorilla! It's just like in the movies or video games! You must be the Beast Master!"

Zaraki just grunted at the odd statement and began to get out of the shocked crowd, that Tasuki girl included. Orihime had to pull her along to follow with Ikkaku. He heard a few times Tasuki comment to Orihime after a while how she knew such strange people and if he grew up in the jungle or something. He let it slide since she got those women off of his case.

"Hey," he said to a drowsy Yachiru. "Why did you go into the gorilla pit in the first place?"

"Oh, that's easy, Ken-chan!" Yachiru said. "I dropped my lollipop!"


This world seemed to be full of stuff to piss Zaraki off. While staring mindlessly at giraffes (which just pissed him off for no reason) and receiving looks of fear from more zoo goers, Orihime got a call saying that Ichigo couldn't make it because of an arrancar attack. That was the last straw for the day. Zaraki stormed off and into the night, Yachiru still on his back and now sleeping from her sugar crash. He would have gone after Ichigo himself, but Yachiru needed to go to bed before she drooled all over him and once Ichigo probably defeated the stupid thing, there was a chance he wouldn't be up to his normal fighting ability.

The next day would be the day Zaraki would go through the entire city, though, to find that punk and finally kill him, he planned with an evil smirk while Yachiru tightened her grip on his hair.


1.) I think that that would be the weirdest sight. Orihime and Tasuki hanging out with Zaraki and Ikkaku… weird image.

A/N: Again, surprised at how many reviews I got. Thank you again! And I have to say that this… is odd. Very odd, and I again can't figure out what I don't like about it and it will take hours for me to figure out which I don't want to do because I need to get back to my book. Sadly, I have already gotten another idea for another chapter AND story, so I fear that it shall be difficult. -sigh- Thankfully, I don't have an editor yet to harass me.

And this came to me in the car this morning when I realized that Zaraki is like a gorilla. I cracked up, and then remembered that kid who fell into the gorilla pit in the 90s or something. And voila. Crack!

You know what to do!

Please leave a review!

As always, CONSTRUCTIVE criticism is welcomed with Zaraki piggy back rides!