Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, if I did, I would've bloody finished it. Oh wait, it did get finished...
Once upon a time in the merry killing zone of Japan, Retarded Koga the Jackass Wolf Boy was meandering aimlessly with his two almost-as-dumb minions, Ginta and Hakkakkakkaku. Whoops, I mean Hakkaku. So, yeah, they we're fucking around one day when, suddenly, a wild hare/hair jumped straight up Koga's ass, and he decided that he just HAD to eat something.
"Hay guys let's food!" Koga said, in stilted Japanese.
"But, Koga, we just ate twelve minutes ago!" Hakkaku whined like an impotent fool.
"I WANT DIN DINS! I WANT MEAT! I WANT DIN DINS!" Koga screamed, tears forming in his misplaced, uneven and empty eyes.
Ginta, who in his 20s was too old for this shit, ripped some grass out of the ground and gave it to Koga.
"NOT THESE DIN DINS!" Koga bitched, tossing the grass back at Ginta. Unfortunately, since Koga's strength is equal to that of a common sea sponge, the grass actually went in the opposite direction of where it was meant to be thrown.
Koga started crying when he remembered when he was a child. His sweet old granny always made water stew just for him. Flavored with plenty of water. Koga couldn't help but grin whenever he remembered the conversations he would have with Sweet Old Granny.
"Grandma, grandma, can I have some of that fish you're eating?" Little Koga begged.
"No, you fucking little faggot, you have water stew, eat that shit." Sweet Old Granny said, while petting him on the head with a wooden pan. Good times. He sure missed that woman.
"Koga, why won't you eat the grass?" Ginta asked. "You used to LOVE grass!"
"Me want FISHY DIN DINS!" Koga commanded, crossing his arms and scowling.
"Okay, we'll be back soon!" Hakkaku reassured, running to a lake with Ginta.
"Me wonder why they always gone so long." Koga wondered, scratching his ridiculous lice hair.
After Ginta and Hakkaku were finished with their business, they caught some fish for hungry Koga.
"Here, eat!" Hakkaku said proudly, handing him the wet fish.
Koga proceeded to take about out of the still-living fishes head.
"Delishmouses!" approved Koga, still chewing down on the other eyeball.
After Koga finished, he started crying yet again.
"Goddamnit, what is it now?" Ginta asked, frustratedly.
"Me no chew or blink at same time!" Koga wailed, crying and drooling fish blood.
"Why is that a big deal?" Hakkaku asked.
"EYES HURT WHEN EAT! WHHHHAAAAA! WWWWHHHHHHAAAAAA! !" Koga hollered for minutes, when finally, Ginta piped up.
"We'll go ask Inuyasha to help you!" Ginta suggested cheerfully.
"NO! Inuyasha is stupid, stinky, poopy doo doo head with big ugly face as dumb as a butt!" Koga protested, putting his nose in the air.
"That may be true, but still, we need to find out the truth! Inuyasha may know." Hakkaku said, trying to convince the halfwit wolf demon.
"Fine! But if not work, you won't food tonight!" Koga snapped, walking off to find Inuyasha. Then he stopped.
"What's that sme- oh... fuck." Ginta spat, realizing what that peculiar scent and a red-faced Koga trying to hold it in.
After giving Koga a change, they stumble across Inuyasha's group.
"What the shit do you guys want?" Inuyasha asked.
"HYE KAGOME!" Koga yelled, running over to Kagome.
Before Kagome could finish her greeting, Koga pulled her in for a kiss, which was quickly broken off by Inuyasha kicking Koga right in the back to the head. This made Koga run away.
"Oh my God, what was that taste?" Kagome demanded.
"Live fish. Sorry." Hakkaku said reluctantly.
While Kagome ran away to vomit, Inuyasha, still angry from the whole kissing thing, demanded to know "JUST WHAT THE FUCK YOU GUYS WANT!"
"We just wanted to know if you knew how to help Koga to be able to eat a blink at the same time." Ginta said.
Inuyasha's eyes brightened.
"Um, WITHOUT intense physical pain."
"No, I don't." Inuyasha said, disappointed.
Ginta and Hakkaku shrugged and went to go find Koga. When they found him, he was in the fetal position under a tree, drinking his own piss and shaking.
"It's okay, Koga." Ginta said soothingly, stroking Koga's greasy hair.
"Inuyasha couldn't help us out. What now, Koga?" Hakkaku asked.
"ME STILL WANT BLINK AND EAT!" Koga screamed, still shaking profusely.
And with that, Koga ran away again.
"GOD FUCKING DAMNIT!" Ginta screamed angrily, while he and Hakkaku chased after Koga. They found him doing the same thing, only with bear piss.
"Okay, that's nasty even for you, Koga." Hakkaku said, cringing.
"You seriously need to stop this running away thing." Ginta said.
"ME HAVE A IDEA!" Koga suddenly shouted, a look of realization on his moron face.
"What, Koga?" Ginta asked.
A few minutes later, Koga was swimming happily in a lake, giggling like an idiot, while Ginta and Hakkaku just stood by, bored and ready to jump in when Koga almost drowns. Yes, "when", because it's enevitable. Suddenly, Koga started screeching.
"WATER IN MY NOSE EISFIOEFAEF!"
Ginta and Hakkaku drag him, flailing and crying, out of the lake. Suddenly, Koga starts crying.
"I know how blink and eat at same time." Koga said quietly but happily.
TO BE CONTINUED...