Summary: They didn't see her at night…
Season/Sequel: season 10
Spoilers: Unending (10-20)
Archives: my website, others ask please, I never refuse
Disclaimer: I own neither the show nor the characters. I don't earn any money; I just do it for fun.
Author's Note: Ok, major spoilers for the series finale so in case you haven't seen it, don't read this fic.
You have a go !
They didn't see her at night.
During days, she was fine. She was with them, talking, laughing, or working alone. But at night, when she was forced to retreat to her quarters by General Landry, being told that it would still be there the next day, at night she was feeling anything but fine.
During days, she tried to keep a cheerful face, sometimes succeeding, other times failing. At night, the mask fell and she let her tears fall freely; she had never been one to cry much, but since they had first been stuck there, she had cried more times than she could remember in her all life. She had never been ashamed to cry in front of someone else, but it just wasn't her. She had always been of the type to keep a straight face in front of people and to let go when she was alone.
During days, she was always confident; she would find a solution. At night, she was more doubtful. She had overestimated herself, overestimated her capabilities and they were there because of her. She tried to tell herself that they would probably be dead if it weren't for the time bubble, but it didn't work; she was failing.
During days, she always had something to occupy herself with, something to think about. When night came and she was in her quarters, her mind was free of anything else and she had time to think, too much time. She didn't want to think about it, about him, about them, but his face always came to the front of her mind. She wondered what he was doing, if he already knew they were missing, if he put up a rescue mission, or if he thought they were dead.
During days, she knew that only a few seconds had passed outside the time bubble they were in. At night, it didn't matter because she was losing all rationality. She always woke up in sweats, after having a nightmare. It was always the same; she had found a solution but it was too late, too late for them.
During days, they were there for her like she was there for them. At night, she was feeling lonely. She wished he was there with her, for her. To take her in his arms when she was feeling down, to reassure her, to tell her when to stop working or that she was thinking too much. To tell her that she would find a solution. To just kiss her doubts away, and make love to her to prove to her that they were still alive.
During days, she was Colonel Carter, the one who had stuck them there so she would have more time to find a solution. At night, she was just Sam, a woman who was finally happy with her life and had been ripped away from it in mere seconds. A woman who had what she had always wanted, who she had always wanted, and who hadn't made the most of it yet.
They only knew who she was during days; they didn't know her at night.