disclaimer: i dont own ncis or characters


I feigned a deep concentration at my computer, yet i wasn't even seeing anything. Tony's at his desk. Every once in a while I look at the window to see what he's doing. Sometimes, instead of his reflection, I see the city outside, the night sky.

I know he doesn't feel well. Maybe something happened, his girlfriend maybe. There's got to be a reason why he's like this. I don't like it. I don't like seeing him like this. Perhaps it reminds me of when i feel like that.

He feels empty inside. At the chest. No, no even that, it's like there's nothing. Nothing to think about, nothing to think of. That point beyond thinking, beyond anything. He's so still, just staring into his computer. There's no sadness, no anger, nothing on his face, nor in his posture.

I just want to know. I need to know what it is with him. It's one of those times when it feels like the whole world's a parched globe. No water, no life, nothing. Just a sphere. It's 00:45 and just the two of us left. He hasn't even noticed. I only just realised as I happened to glance at the clock.


I realised that I was the only one left when Ziva turned off her desk lamp. Well, technically, she was still here.

I looked up to find her in front of me, separated by my desk. She just looked at me, and I felt a great comforting sorrow well up from deep inside me. I switched off my light and picked up my bag and followed her to the elevator.