A/N: Okay, so my title ain't that great. Whatever. It's Willy Wonka's Welcome song. With slight spoken words by Willy Wonka. Set in Wammy's

Summary: Not much to say.

Mello's Welcome Song

"Hey, Mello, let's go watch some television!"

"No way Matt, I'm busy!"

"Come on, Mel…pleeeassseee?"

"Hey, don't beg, where's your sense of pride? Aw crap, fine!"

"Hey, Mel look, a trailer! Man I love these things, 2 minutes of movie explanatory in fast moving action clips."

"Sometimes I really wonder if you were dropped when you were a kid, Matt."

"I will choose to ignore that."

"Just shut-"

"Sssh, it's starting!"

'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory'

"Near, what the hell are you doing here?"

"Come to watch television of course."

"Shouldn't you be playing with your toys?"

"I've finished. Besides, don't tell me you're afraid of losing to me in even watching television."

"I'm not afraid of anything to do with you.

"Let's boogie."

Let's boogie.

Wait where the hell had that come from?


Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka,

Wait, what's Matt trying to do? Don't use my real name dammit!

"Mihael Keehl, Mihael Keehl"


The amazing chocolatier. (Whee!)

"The amazing chocolate eater!"

"Whee!"

Oh crap, not Near too!


Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka,

"Mihael Keehl, Mihael Keehl."


Everybody give a cheer. (Whoopee!)

"Everybody give a cheer."

"Whoopee!"

I'm going mad, yes that's right. Then when I wake up from this nightmare the first thing I'm gonna do is put an axe through the television and Johnny Depp. Shit, they've started dancing. No wait, clapping! Oh no! More kids!


He's modest, clever, and so smart,

Hey wait, that's a good one, can't argue with that. Aw crap, that guy has short hair like mine! ARGH!


He barely can restrain it.

Constipation? Haha! No wait! Not funny!


There's so much generosity,

Bulllshiittt.


There is nowhere to contain it.

I'm yeah I know where to contain it, right up some asshole's ass!

Wow.

Right.


To contain it, to contain it, to contain-...

Ahaha! Die evil singing puppets! MEELLLTTT! :)


Ew.

Finally, a reasonable comment!


Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka,

"Mihael Keehl, Mihael Keehl."


He's a genius who just can't be beat.

Haha! Take THAT Near!


The magician and the chocolate wiz.

Oh-kay. I can't really do magic.


Chewing gum is really gross.

Damn right! When you chew it, it gets stuck in your teeth and when you blow it, it pops in your face and the last time I ate it, I was cleaning it out of my hair for weeks! Then when people chew the stuff, it looks revolting when the gooey lumps just makes their teeth stick together. Blleerrghhh.


Chewing gum I hate the most.

HEAR! HEAR!


Willy Wonka, here he is!

Nice explosion. FINALLY SOME GOOD EFFECTS!

Wait.

"Stop laughing Matt, dammit! And get your butt off the floor!"

"Dd-did you see the hat and the coat? AHAHA! A-and the part where he has the same hairstyle as you! HAH! A-and the chocolate fetish-"

"OKAY I GET IT MATT!"

Dammit, even Near was laughing at him. Shit.

"SHOW'S OVER GUYS EVERYBODY OUT! THAT MEANS YOU TOO, NEAR!"

"Hey kids, guess what? Mr Wammy just sponsored tickets for all of us to watch the movie 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory'!"

"YAAAAYYY!!!"

"Oh. Shit. No."

MUST. KILL. WILLY. WONKA.

Wait. He had a chocolate factory. Okay perhaps the movie WAS worth watching.

Mm, this whipple scrumptious fudge-mallow delight wasn't half bad.

The End

A/N: Okay…this was inspired by a video on YouTube. It was called 'Mello and the Chocolate Factory'. I think I'll write a sequel.