Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto it belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. I only lay claim to this story plot.
A/N: I would like to mention that although this is a SasuNaru fic, it will have some side pairings such as GaaraNeji and GaaraNejiNaru. So you have been warned and also there will be some Sasuke bashing and if you want SasuNaru fluff it will be much later on. If any of these things doesn't appeal to you then press the Back button now. Flames will not be accepted. Constructive criticism, reviews, comments and ideas will be much appreciated. Now on with the story.
Warning: Yaoi, AU, Sasuke bashing, some major angst, some violence, extreme jealousy and craziness, OOC, Smut, and adult themes.
Thanks to the wonderful Inuryu for her help editing.
Chapter 1: Prologue
Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired, and success achieved.
His sapphire orbs glanced about him, he could feel the heaviness in his chest become stifling. It was so hard to breathe. He found himself listening to the sound of his wheezing in desperation. He tried closing his eyes in hope that it might block out the images, but it was futile they were already burnt into his mind.
'Kami-sama, how did this happen?' he thought.
Scattered haphazardly about his expansive bed were numerous photos, every one of them was a knife piercing his heart, looking at them drove it further into him. When he thought about any of them the blade would twist cruelly causing all the more pain.
He wanted to scream; he wanted to cry, shout anything to relieve him of this consistent heartache. Pulling at his golden blond tresses he cursed Fate over and over again for messing up his life. Crawling into a ball and never having to face the world again sounded pretty damn good, but he knew deep down he would hate himself if he did it.
But what could he do when his whole world had come crashing down upon him in an instant?
How would he find the strength to pick up the pieces of his ruined life once again?
He was so tired, so damn tired, not to mention sick and frustrated.
Would it ever end? How many times would he have to start all over again? How many times could he stand the rejection over and over again, to have his happiness snatched away just when he thought he could settle down?
Life is a bitch, yeah right that's the understatement of the year. Whoever said that obviously hadn't taken a look at his life; it had been fucked up from day one.
They say get back on the horse; don't put yourself down; don't be a quitter. But what the hell did anyone know? Had they experienced every attempt at happiness being foiled time and again? Did anyone know how hard it was to stand up for himself and try to become better than the monster people claimed him to be?
He thought he had finally achieved his dream; he thought he had found someone to hold him close and push all the bad stuff away. Someone to love him unconditionally; someone he could call his own; someone who would stop hurting him; someone, for once, who would not betray him and throw all that he had offered back in his face.
It hurt it, hurt like hell; the pain was so intense, eating away at him. Physical pain sucked, but emotional pain was pure agony.
He thought he had all he could have ever dreamed of and more. A tall dark gorgeous husband in every sense, piles of money and a great big house to call his own. Prestige, stature, people who had looked down on him and tormented him could no longer do so; he was one of the incredible Uchihas'. What a fucking joke.
Those pictures were the last straw for him; he knew his marriage was crumbling, but he had been holding on to some phantom hope, deluding himself into thinking things would get better. But he knew deep down that there wasn't any; he had learned to expect the worst. Besides what right did a demon have to any happiness?
But he wasn't a demon, he wasn't a monster, and he wasn't the Kyuubi. God it wasn't his fault all those people died; why did they have to blame him for something he didn't do? Why?
They shunned him all his life, tortured him, with their icy glares and their piercing bottomless hatred for him. What did it matter if he was just a mere boy starved for love? Denied the loving childhood every child was entitled to. After he had fought so hard, after all he had sacrificed. What was the purpose of living if he was continually going to be crushed every time he arose from the ashes?
No more, he was too worn out to deal with this shit; he couldn't take it anymore, he wouldn't take it anymore! He was going to escape and the first thing he was going to do was get out of this goddamm sham of a marriage.
With a spark of his former determination he got up from his position on the bed and began to pack his things; he didn't know where he was going, or what he was going to do, but he had wasted too much of his life trying to please others, to be recognized. He didn't give a rat's ass any longer; this godforsaken rathole could burn for all he cared, he'd consider it payment for all the injustices committed against him.
He sighed, as much as he wanted to hate the villagers, his tormentors, his persecutors he just couldn't stoop to their level of thinking. He didn't want love, acceptance, or any of his previous desires. All he wanted was peace, to be left alone, for the pain disappear and over time maybe the horrors he had endured would fade away altogether.
It would take a very, very long time before he could heal and put the pieces of his heart together again, but for now it could stay broken. The numbness had already set in; he couldn't even weep if he wanted to.
While he set about removing his very presence from the mansion he reflected on the person who had been his everything once. His reason for living, breathing, his very existence, was none other than Uchiha Sasuke.
As Naruto reminisced about the past, he realized how much of his life revolved around the Uchiha; from the day he had been assigned to team seven, to the time they had fought at the Valley of the End, to his present.
Even his former childhood dream to be Hokage hadn't compared with his feelings of forlorn yearning for Sasuke after his abandonment of the Leaf Village. All he had done from that point on was for Sasuke. All his tears, sweat, blood, and emotions had been for the self-proclaimed Avenger of the former glorious Uchiha Clan.
He had put his life, his very soul, on the line for the Uchiha, even when it seemed hopeless and he was on the brink of death, he kept on fighting to get the raven back. It was all he had.
It might have seemed desperate and foolish to some, his perseverance hinting on obsession, but what did it matter; as far as he had been concerned once Sasuke was back the world had righted itself on its axis. When the last Uchiha had gone AWOL it was only then did he realize the depth of his feelings towards the raven.
No one could ever say he had taken the easy way out; he had fought tooth and nail every inch of the way to retrieve Sasuke, risking everything. It had pained him deeply every time Sasuke had rejected him on his quest, but he never gave up.
And looked what happened; his life was once again in rubbles.
Naruto reflected on the day he had brought the Uchiha back to Konoha; there had been festivities and celebrations. All the single females had rejoiced, though there was much to say about the raven's condition. He was critically injured, suffering from multiple broken bones and a severe case of chakra depletion.
Of course none of the villagers considered that it had been Uchiha who had deserted the village, nor did they care what it had taken from Naruto to bring back the reluctant Uchiha. All that they had deemed important was the fact the Kyuubi-gaki who had brought him back half-dead and it was entirely his fault he was in such a condition.
The abuse he had suffered was immense; they had rarely let up and their scorn and disdain for him had been magnified. Naruto had tried his best to ignore them, but sometimes in secret he had let his resolve crumble and cried openly. It had hurt that they still cast him off after all he had done, and it still hurt, and when Sasuke and his relationship had developed and turned into something more than just past team-mates, they had been horrified thinking he had somehow swindled their beloved Uchiha.
But he was marrying the love of his life, what the hell did it matter? He had been ecstatic when Sasuke had proposed on top of the Hokage monument to him and they had had a fairy-tale wedding. The pretence of bliss had been utterly real to him.
At first he had tried to go on as though everything was fine, and in the beginning he had truly believed that, slowly things didn't begin to add up, but he dismissed it. Though giving up his former way of life was difficult, at that point he would have done anything and everything for Sasuke without question.
However the lack of communication, the unusually long missions, the strange scents cloaking Sasuke, his nonchalance towards the blond, and so much more made itself apparent. Naruto was determined to make his marriage work so he put everything he had into it, focusing solely on Sasuke because this is what the Uchiha had wanted.
After returning to Konoha, Sasuke had been extremely possessive of Naruto; at first it had bothered him since he was so restricted and could rarely see his friends, but he had come to accept it for Sasuke's sake and done as he wished; purposely distancing himself from others.
It didn't last, Sasuke had been pleased for a while, but was never really satisfied; so Naruto tried harder learning to cook all his favourite foods and trying to be the perfect Uchiha bride, but it was useless and Sasuke was pulling away completely. The blond was often at his wits end worrying about Sasuke when he was gone for days only to have him return and treat Naruto with such cold indifference.
The raven never did miss the opportunity to berate the blond for the slightest and most trivial of things, such harsh cruel words he used, except that Naruto seemed to think he deserved Sasuke's invectives and meekly apologized and always learned never to repeat his mistakes. But it was never enough for the Uchiha; even sex that had once been frequent, passionate, and intimate, had turned seldom, mechanical, and unsatisfying with Sasuke always taking Naruto in the most brutal uncaring of ways and finishing without the blond, tossing him aside like a ragged doll.
He would have never thought his life with Sasuke would have ended up in the gutters, but he was living his very own nightmare. The photos had been the last straw for him; Sasuke, his Sasuke, had been with all those other men. He had let them touch and pleasure him in ways that was Naruto's duty; they had shared his kisses and sighs.
And although he was hurting, almost too much for his battered heart to bear, he would not let it bring him down; he was taking back his fucking life, or more likely what was left of it. Everyone, including himself, had screwed him over and over, it was time to break the cycle; he knew there was no way he could withstand it any longer, so he was leaving. And it was about time.
"Welcome back Sasuke; please allow me to take your things. I've already prepared a bath for you, exactly how you like, and dinner is almost ready", he said bowing.
Without sparing him a glance Sasuke handed him his belongings and treaded up the stairs, disrobing on the way as Naruto followed closely behind picking up his remains trying his best to ignore the pungent scent it expelled: sweat, blood and, lastly sex.
He had already laid out the other's evening clothes and was making his way back to the kitchen to make the final preparations for dinner. Naruto moved placidly with practiced grace; anyone on the outside, even the closest of friends, would never be able to detect that there was something wrong with the blond, he seemed perfectly content.
But lurking beneath the surface deep in his heart another thorn began to sprout piercing deeply, a symbol of the agony he endured for the sake for this farce he called a marriage and a callous husband.
Once he was assured everything was in place, he went about with his other duties leaving his husband to his dinner. The blond had long ago stopped eating with his spouse and took to eating late at night once he was certain things were in order, and consumed a pitiful meal that could hardly fill a bird.
He had lost weight drastically; all his muscles were gone and replaced by skinny limbs and his golden skin had faded to pale porcelain after spending so much time indoors. His unruly blond hair had been allowed to grow out and was now reaching below his waist. In all Naruto was a completely different being both inside and out, and possessed more psychological baggage than ever.
This was not the same person who had brought back the fifth Hokage, who had mastered the legendary Rasengan in a week, who had succeed the impossible, and returned the last legitimate Uchiha to Konoha. This wasn't even a ghost of that person. This was someone who had been completely broken, whose spirit had been crushed.
Lifeless azure eyes too old for anyone his age to carry, he had gone through hell and back and it had finally taken its toll; he was no longer as strong as he had appeared and lay open and vulnerable for the all world to see, the naked truth of the real person beneath all the masks and layers.
When Sasuke had finished eating he cleared away the table and retrieved the usual coffee that the raven demanded after dinner. After setting it down he retreated, trying to make himself useful even though everything was in ideal condition and there was nothing left to do he always found ways to occupy himself, if he didn't work himself to the bone every day before he went to sleep he would never rest, the thoughts of what his life had become would haunt him.
After a mere ten minutes Sasuke impatiently called out to him. "Naruto, get my coat and my wallet. Now!"
He didn't have to wait long before the lithe blond came scurrying in to bring the raven his request. While the dark-haired man attired himself Naruto could not help asking, "When will you be back Sasuke; its very late already and I know you must be tir-"
However before the blond could finish voicing his concerns Sasuke lashed out at him physically, slapping him ruthlessly across the face sending the blond crashing to the floor, his soft skin reddening rapidly.
The taller man advanced to where the kitsune rested holding his battered face and grabbed the collar of his shirt pulling him to his feet and slamming his against the pastel wall roughly. Holding himthere the Uchiha glared icily at the stunned boy and growled, "How dare you question me bitch. I am your husband and I will do as I please. You have no right to query me and you had better learn you're place because the next time this happens I will punish you much more for your insolence."
Then, for added effect, he flung him aside and walked out the front door disappearing into the shadowy hollow night. He didn't care to notice that Naruto had, as a result of his actions, hit his head on sharp edge of a glass side table and was now unconscious, bleeding from a severe head wound.
Shaking out of the morbid recollections of the past, with his pitiful luggage in his hands he gazed about the place he had once called home. Sure it was huge and magnificent, everything that any normal person would want, but to him it was just a place that reminded him of his lost dreams and the ache ran deep.
Sighing Naruto with an air of finality shut the door of the Great Uchiha mansion and walked away. Closing that chapter of his life. Forever hopefully.
A/N: This is the first chapter and though it is pretty sad and gloomy things will get better for Naruto, but this was just to give you a better insight on what Sasuke and Naruto's married life was like.