Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto it belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. I only lay claim to this story plot.
Warning: Yaoi, AU, Sasuke bashing, some major angst, some violence, extreme jealousy and craziness, OOC, Smut, Mpreg and adult themes.
Note: I may not spend much time developing Gaara and Neji's relationship so I am happy to say with the permission of Goddess33 the initiation of their relationship will begin with her story 'Sand In Your Shorts'. I advise you to read it not only because I will be making references from this story from time to time, but it is an excellent fic, you should read it.
Chapter 19: Reconnecting
One need not be a chamber to be haunted;
One need not be a house;
The brain has corridors surpassing
He sat at the edge of the examination table and looked at his feet involuntarily swinging back and forth. The blond had just finished an intensive round of tests and checkups to determine the effect of Kyuubi's presence in his stead over the last several days. They weren't back with the results yet but frankly he didn't care what they had to say, he just wanted to get back to Suna and back to his son who was apparently in a coma.
He didn't want to deal with this medical drama and he certainly didn't want to think about a certain someone although he knew there was no running away from it. A can of worms had been opened by his return to Konoha and there was no way to sweep it under the mat it had to be dealt with, but that knowledge certainly didn't make it any easier to accept. At least he knew for sure now that he was never going to back down and run away because of that bastard, he had so much to live for there were people counting on him and he refused to let his past demons drag him down.
But enough of that there was a major problem that had to be dealt with and certainly couldn't be ignored and he was referring to….
"Could you shut up already the pity party is pissing me off"
Yes that's right our favourite vicious, rabid demon, Kyuubi.
"Who the fuck you call rabid punkass? I'm not in a cage anymore and I'll-"
It would seem that since Naruto had retreated into his subconscious and metaphorically offered Kyuubi his get out of jail free card there was no putting back the kitsune in a cage, even the seal had been altered so while the fox was still confined to Naruto's body he could now speak freely to the blond and was even privy to his thoughts annihilating any shred of privacy the blond had and if Naruto ever dropped his guard and loosened his leash on the fox the Kyuubi would be in control and with the balance in their chakra restored and their impending doom postponed there would be hell to pay.
He really didn't need to deal with this right now, but there was no going back, what's done was done. But he was still hoping like hell the fox came with a mute button cause it seemed he wouldn't shut the hell up. He had been yammering non-stop ever since Neruto had "awoken" he'd ragged on him for disappearing like a scared little chicken shit the blond had sucked it up and stayed quite he deserved it, then he'd bitched about all the tests they run on him and all the restrictions they had imposed and the fact that he wasn't even free to use his flippin' weakling body since they were afraid any minute he was going to self-destruct.
And it went on and on and on, after a while he'd just kinda tuned out, he wasn't back to a hundred percent yet and he still felt pretty disconnected with his body much less reality. It was a lot to process all that had happened since he'd gone AWOL and his most pressing concern was that of Sekai. Thankfully everyone had had the tact to avoid bringing up the stinking Uchiha well everyone but Kyuubi that is.
"You have the worst effin' timing you know that welp? I was about to send that asshole with a one way ticket to the asylum, he'd never be able to sleep in peace again with my face haunting him for the rest of his pathetic life. But no you dedcided after dropping off the face of the earth and leaving me to take the heat you'll waltzing back in when I'm about to set all this shit straight. You're a good for nothing, ungrateful, gutless-"
And it went on like that for a good five minutes and beyond rolling his eyes and desperately wishing someone would come through the bloody door and save him he had to stay quiet and take the vitriol after all the fox was in his bloody head, he couldn't exactly punch him.
Just when it felt the kitsune was whining down he'd start paying attneion.
"I have been stick with you for over 2 decades and this is all the thanks I get in return. I should have let you're sorry ass get killed. You don't deserve me help."
Sighing he rubbed his temples before interjecting, "I'm sorry! Ok! I get it I'm a a complete dumbshit and I'm selfish and cowardly and you have every right to be pissed off at me , should have never runaway like that. I should have been stronger. I should have stayed and fight. I screwed up."
"Your apologies don't mean anything to me. There aren't many second chances in the shinobi world so don't fuck it up this time" Kyuubi growled before simmering down.
Dammit he had made such a mess of things. It had been his intention to just get a divorce and finally put the past behind him. He was supposed to be older, wider, stronger, but what did he do as soon as he saw the Uchiha, he freaked like a flippin' genin and when into hiding.
This had to stop being all about him he had people counting on him, a son waiting for him back in Suna. Did he really wanna get stuck in this hellhole? Did he want the past to drag him through the mud and beat him down all over again?
It wasn't as simply as just saying the word he had to prove it and the next time he faced the bastard he wouldn't back down. Never again.
Tsunade felt herself age at least 15 years from all the stress she'd been put through since Naruto's return. It was exhausting; she had known things would never go smoothly with those two involved but the ridiculous amount of crap that had gone down over the past few weeks was mindboggling.
Naruto coming back to Konoha and discovering Minato was his father then to top it all off he ran in to the Uchiha and had a meltdown. Thus Kyuubi was let loose, the gaki was nowhere to be found and Sekai is now in a coma probably in a direct response to Naruto's disappearance.
Of course she was left to deal with the mess and a cranky, condescending, destructive, annoying kitsune who couldn't stay out of trouble and had gone after the Uchiha torturing the motherfucker so badly he was currently under suicide watch because he kept trying to do crazy shit like slit his wrists and jump out the widow since he had regained his old memories and the guilt was driving him crazy which he frankly deserved.
But of course things didn't work that way and it was her job to make sure the last surviving member of the Uchiha clan didn't off himself.
Though he had been a bleeding mess covered in cuts and scratches it didn't take long to seal the wounds and administer a transfusion.
Turning her thoughts back to the blond she could at least put one worry off her mind, from the results he was pretty much back to normal and there weren't any noticeable lingering effects from his absence that they knew of well unless she took into the account that Kyuubi wasn't on such a short leash anymore and had considerable influence over Naruto no longer confined to his cage.
However to save herself from the oncoming headache from all the problems and concerns that arose from that development she spared it little thought.
She stood outside the doorof the room where Naruto was currently begin held she took a breath trying to steady herself and possible plea to the universe that there wouldn't be any more surprises awaiting her.
Jumping of the table the blond grinned, "Thank god you're here, the fox is driving me nuts."
She held up a hand, "I don't want to hear a word from you gaki, its your own fault so suck it up."
Groaning the blond deflated and sighed, "Yeah, yeah you don't need to tell me twice."
"Moving on from the tests they didn't many abnormalities concerning your chakra network, though with Kyuubi's shift and the changes in the seal the demonic chakra should be easier to access though the influence of the fox on your mind and overall control has yet to be determined so that will have to be monitored."
Waving his hand dismissively he inquired, "Has there been any news about 'Kai?"
Shaking her head she explained, "No, but it would be too soon for us to be notified if any changes had occurred in his condition. However I have already sent out a messenger to Suna to inform them that you are awake hopefully there will be good news on their end."
"I understand. It's just….." he trailed off.
"From what you told us it was Sekai who was responsible for your return, he made contact with you. I am positive that he will awaken now that he had accomplished his goal. Nonetheless there are matters we must attend to."
"Ugh. Well no time like the present, let's get it over with. Lay it on me Baa-chan."
Her eyes narrowed at him as she moved to stand infront of the door, "The time for theatrics is over you can deal with your inner conflicts later right now I need you to focus, I'm sure you don't want your trip here to be in vain."
He nodded sharply in response his back straightening.
"Very well. As I previously stated before at our last meeting the true identiy of you parents have been revealed, you were to be told when you 21 and would receive your full inheritace as the last reminaing heir to the Namikaze clan."
The was an acute gasp and she could see that the blond was struggling to contain his emotions, she paused before continued reassuring herself that he could handle this.
"The estate left behind consists of a house on the outskirts of Konoha, as well as a sizable fortune, along with many possession of your late parents including family scrolls and journals. There are also 2 letters written by them to you that are at my office that I am instructed to give to you. Once you are ready we shall go over the rest of the details."
With a slightly shaky voice he responded, "That's fine. Once I leave here I will come to the Hokage Tower."
"Alright now the next pressing issues. Your marriage to the Uchiha. You have never divorced though you have been estranged for a number of years, your marriage is still legal and binding. There have been some developments since you left Konoha that you need to be made aware of. Shortly after your departure from Konoha for Suna the Uchiha was placed on probation by the council and was placed under ANBU watch. However he attempted to commit suicide but was thwarted by his guard. Nonetheless his wound was severe and he underwent sever emotional trauma-"
At those words the blond let loose a snort of morbid amusement, 'emotional trauma my ass' he thought reflecting upon the torment he had endured at his husband's hand.
She continued, "When he regained consciousness it was discovered that he had suffered a curious case of selective memory loss. Meaning all his memories concerning you were gone, he did not know who you were much less remember any of your experiences together or your marriage."
The horrible scene in the forest replayed in his mind and suddenly things made a lot more sense now that he had this information.
"That fucking asshole! How could he just forget me! I have to live with all the terrible shit he's done to me, I'm all fucked up and he gets to forget it all and move on like it ever happened. That ain't fair. It's not! Make him remember! Make him remember every goddamn thing he's done to me so he can suffer, so that son of a bitch can know he didn't friggin' break me. I want him to remember!"
Walking closer she put her hand on his shoulder comfortingly, "You don't need to worry about that. During his episode with Kyuubi something triggered his memories and he got them back, he remembers everything now. He knows exactly who you are and what transpired since you two met."
Hearing those words seemed to make the blond sag in relief or was it something else. He closed his eyes briefly, biting down so hard it bled; his body was stiff and trembling with uncontrolled emotions.
Just as suddenly his eyes snapped open, "I want to see him."
Tsunade froze, her gaze boring into the blond, "Are you sure that is what you want?" she asked carefully.
He walked forward closing the distance between them before startling her slightly as his arms wrapped around her embracing her. Relaxing she returned the hug.
"Thank you for all you've done for me all these years. I have been putting this off for too long and its time for me to have a talk with my husband. Don't you agree?" he spoke softly in her ear.
Pulling away she looked at his face seeing a mischievous smirk and a gleam of the old Naruto, the boy who had convinced her to come back to Konoha, someone she thought she had lost, only to discover he wasn't totally gone and with that reassurance her anxiety eased and she nodded before warning, "You have 15 minutes before anyone comes to check on him after that I'm not saving your ass."
"It will do" were his last words before he left the room; a smiling Tsunade was left behind.
Sasuke growled in frustration, they had restrained him, tying him down to the bed and had posted guards outside his room a medic nin came to check on him every half hour. They had also seen to it that his chakra was temporarily bound so he was pretty much helpless.
His day had pretty much gone to hell and he could honestly say his life as he knew it had been completely fucked up. He had a persistent headache, every few minutes he would get flashes, memories of things he had never seen or done and along came a wave of unexplainable emotions that accompanied these memories. He had no control there was nothing he could do, just waiting in suspense till a next set of memories assaulted him unexpectedly and dragged him into them as he watched scenes from a life that he had no connection to or memory of but were apparently all things he had experienced at some point.
They told him he had lost his memories after his suicide attempt and were regaining them after so many years, but from what he had seen so far he wished he had never gotten them back in the first place. They were downright disturbing. Sasuke knew he wasn't a saint, he had done some terrible, selfish things but the person he saw in his mind was a monster.
The blank spots in his memory had bothered him somewhat in the beginning, but his life had been chaotic and full of strife since he had left the Konoha while his time with Orichimaru had been spent on getting stronger, he had paid a heavy price. Along the way he had lost a crucial part of himself, his ability to feel compassion, forgiveness even love had been compromised. He had been irreversibly damaged by all the mind games he had been forced to play and the influence of that blasted seal had wrecked havoc on his psyche.
The Uchiha wasn't whole, if anything he was even more damaged compared to the horror he had suffered as a child when his clan had been brutally massacred before his eyes. Thus when he viewed those memories of this shining golden boy so full of life and laughter he fell a dread form in his stomach as he slowly pieced together his past combined with the volatile often violent emotions he felt associated his visions. He knew that something terrible had happened and he was responsible.
It had been horrible enough that his mind had been willing to lock away those memories.
Nearly all of his memories pertained to the blond who he now knew was called Naruto, the same man who had been responsible for placing him in the hospital after going berserk and releasing a malicious chakra and killing intent that rivaled any opponent he had ever faced. It was that same blond who now caused him to be placed under special guard after breaking into his room and transforming into this creature of nightmares who had tortured him, injuring his body and invading his mind.
That thing had unlocked his memories, had revealed what a vile person he was. As much as he wanted to believe those memories were fake, merely a fabrication planted by that twisted monster his current condition proved that theory otherwise and he was forced to come to terms with this shocking truth about himself.
While his sole focus had been on avenging his clan by killing his brother he had always thought one day he would eventually settle down and find love. Though he had kept himself from trying to form any attachments, any relationships that would hinder him from his ultimate goal he knew once he found the person worth giving his heart to he would love them fiercely, he would give all of himself to that person.
But never had he imagined he could commit such heinous acts especially against the man he claimed to love, a man who he had married and brought into his clan. A man he had been willing to discard all hope of reviving the Uchiha clan for.
Surely he must have loved him wholeheartedly if he was willing to give up so much for this person. So where did it all go wrong? How had his love turned into something malicious and cruel?
He hated to think that he would ever so brutal and sadistic towards the person he was willing to call his life partner. That he would cause so much suffering for someone who had done and had given up so much for him.
Though his memories were still coming back to him, at random intervals and he was still trying to assimilate all he was learning to fill in the blank spots in his memory he could certainly admit that the blond, this Naruto had done much for him. He had fought to bring him back to Konoha even after he had deserted the village, to save him from his self destructive path though the Uchiha had never once given him a break. For years, years he had searched for him every time desperately trying to convince him to come back to their home, to start living his life again instead of dwelling in the past.
There were scenes of them from their childhood days as genin, their rivalry and bickering, the missions they had gone on together. From those days things the nature of their relationship shifted, the skirmishes and battles between them, the time he had spent desperately searching for Itachi while the blond had been coming after him.
It seemed that Naruto's stubbornness and single-minded determination paid off for he had glimpses of his return to Konoha and the relentless hours the blond had spent bugging him after being assigned the duty of tailing him since he was still under probation for his prior actions.
Though he didn't exactly know when it had happened somehow along the way he had fallen for the golden-haired man. He seemed to be the only on Sasuke could relate to. Sure he got annoyed, but he preferred his presence over anyone else's. It had never been an issue for him being gay besides the fact that he wouldn't be able to have children, but females simply didn't interest him in the least. It probably had something to do with the fangirls who had merciless hounded him in his youth.
Sure he could appreciate a well-built, skilled man, he was surrounded by them, but the only one he wanted to touch, the one he fantasized about in his dreams, the one whose face got off him off in the shower belonged to the hyper-active blond.
So what an Uchiha wants, he gets. And he wanted Naruto, so he went after him and took it all the way even marrying him. He had loved him; from the feelings he experiences from his memories he had loved him for sure, but it wasn't a healthy sort of love. It had been jealous and possessive, a dark sort of love. That Sasuke hadn't wanted to share the blond, he wanted to own him, to possess him, to make sure no one else could have him.
The Uchiha had lost everything he had ever cared about in his life and refused to give up the only person left that was precious to him. And in the end he had been responsible for breaking the same person he had claimed to love and wanted to protect so badly. His spirit had been indomitable he just wouldn't do as the Uchiha wanted, he wouldn't give up on his dream of being Hokage and he wanted to go out on missions and hang out with his other friends. That had been unacceptable, that Sasuke had wanted to be the centre of Naruto's world, he wanted to be the only one that mattered to the blond and he had used the blond's love for him against him to make him submit.
As for the cheating once he had destroyed all the things that had made him value Naruto so much in the first place he began to look elsewhere searching in others for a piece of his dobe yet no one had ever come close. He knew what he had done, he knew he had ruined his marriage, his life, the only person he truly loved, but even knowing that he wasn't willing to let go of Naruto.
But it seemed he had still lost the blond anyway.
There were a lot of contributing factors and he supposed he wouldn't become bored anytime soon trying to sort through the anarchy that had overwhelmed his mind, god knows he wouldn't be sleeping if he could help it. It seemed every time he closed his eyes he was haunted by that red-eyed beast who had attacked him. At least now he knew what he was dealing with, apparently the blond had come with major baggage in the form of an extra tenant residing in his body who just happened to be an extraordinarily powerful, malevolent fox, the embodiment of pure evil who unfortunately for him hated his guts.
However he was distracted from his train of thought when he heard the door squeak as it was being opened. Without his chakra he couldn't do much, but his senses were still impeccable and whipping around at the unfamiliar presence just in time to see the door closing behind the man who had been consuming his thoughts.
Of course he knew they would have to meet eventually, it was unavoidable, but he hadn't prepared for it to be this soon. And knowing what he knew now, well that just made things a great deal more complicated.
At least he could safely say he was dealing with Naruto and not the fox, but there weren't any guarantees that wouldn't change.
Staring directly into those startling clear blue eyes dredged of many memories of looking into them clouded by countless different emotions, the latter images disturbing him particularly the lifeless quality that his former self had inspired. Now he could see the steely resolve in them and from the narrowed look they gave him in return and the devious smirk on his face he would say he was in for trouble.
Dammit where were the friggin' guards when he needed.
A/N: Yeah that sure took me long enough. Just wanted to thank Lynx DYaoi for helping me get off my butt and finish this chapter I had a frustrating case of writer's block. The next chapter is what we have been all been waiting for and I'm hoping to get it out as soon as possible.
I know some of you were wondering about Sasuke's motives, I hope this cleared up some of your questions. I would also like to make the distinction the present Sasuke while he is regaining the former Sasuke's memories doesn't mean he is going to become the old Sasuke.
Thank you again for your continued to support and I am sorry for the wait.