Disclaimer: I don't own the WWE or any of their wrestlers, or former ones. I have no affiliation with any of these people, and their personal lives are based on pure fiction.

A/N: So this is a Jeff fic I started a long time ago. But I've changed it and updated it. I'll probably only update this once or twice a week. But I want to write it. For further notice, Xanadu is pronounced Zanadoo. Xan is Zan.


Love Is Insane And Baby We Are Too

Chapter 1: That's Not My Name


"Great match Jeff." I congratulated the Rainbow Haired Warrior as I followed him backstage. Matt was waiting behind the curtain for us. The crowd had been loud in Baltimore, rowdy, and maybe intoxicated, but it had worked for us. Jeff probably scored the biggest pop of the night; he was on fire, even though part of me hated to admit it.

"Yeah… uh, thanks." He was giving me that, 'as if you'd know' look again. Damn. No matter what I do, I know Jeff Hardy will never think much of me. It all started about a year ago. I got hired with the WWE as a valet. I don't wrestle. Hell, everyone knows it; the only reason I have this job is because my daddy is in a high place. Does the name Mark Calaway ring a bell? Maybe? Maybe not? Well how about The Undertaker? Yeah. That's more like it. My dad is The Undertaker. You're thinking awesome right? Wrong. Not when you're working with Jeff Hardy.

He made his comeback to the WWE on RAW many months ago. At this point, I was managing my dad on Smackdown, but the storyline that had introduced me was a dead one, and now I was just a useless ring accessory for a man who needed no help or introductions.

Then there was the draft.

And my dad ended up out with his bicep injury, so they decided to give me more airtime by putting me on RAW. They loved my look, and personality; it was just the ring work that I needed to work on. They wanted to put me with someone with a unique ring style, because they had a lot of hopes for me, and they wanted me to learn from someone who knew the ring inside and out.

And so, I got shoved right into a storyline with the younger Hardy. Surprisingly enough, I've never had much training. I've had to keep in shape and stuff, but I've never even taken a real bump. Pathetic, I know. My dad's only one of the greatest wrestlers in the business. He really didn't want me involved in it though. So he never taught me much. He only helped me get a job because I told him I wasn't going to college.

Anything I do know, I've learned from Matt Hardy. He's my best friend, and sort of my lifeline around here. As soon as I was signed, we clicked immediately. I found myself traveling with him a lot of the time. My dad likes to go home and visit his wife Sara on off time, so I stick with Matt, ending up in Cameron on many occasions with him, and unfortunately his insufferable nuisance of a brother.

Jeff walked off, grabbing a towel and wiping his face, headed for the locker room I guessed. Sighing, I leaned up against the wall and let the back of my skull tap it a little harder than I'd meant, though I pretended I didn't. "He hates me," I groaned. It wouldn't bother me that much, but I'd always had a fangirl crush on him. So you can imagine I was disappointed when I actually started hanging out with him and he acted like a total jerk consistently.

"No he doesn't, he's just… difficult. He's goin' through a bad break up. He'll warm up to ya soon," Matt tried to comfort me. It wasn't really working. Unlike Jeff, Matt absolutely adored me, right from the start. He treated me like the sister he never had, and I treated him like the older brother I never had. I even set him up with Ashley Massaro when she was around, since we'd made friends. He really liked her and vice versa. I guess she was a breath of fresh air since the whole Amy and Adam thing. They split up recently but still get along, so it wasn't a complete matchmaking failure. "Don't worry kid. He'll come around." Matt had come to watch Jeff's match and since the two brothers had the next couple of days off they were heading to Cameron tonight. I was supposed to go too, but now I'm debating whether I want to. Is not staying in a hotel worth the torture of Jeff's bad mood?

"I'm gonna go shower," I told Matt. I guess I'll think on it.

"Alright, I'll be in the caf. Need to stock up on the coffee," he said, preparing for the five or six hour late night drive from the 1st Mariner Arena in Maryland to Cameron, North Carolina. But Matt was a good distance driver and he didn't mind doing it either, so he often volunteered.

Matt disappeared down a hallway and I turned and walked towards the women's locker room. Jeff's attitude problem had really crawled under my sin tonight, and the whole walk to the lockers I was muttering under my breath and swearing at him, having one-sided practice conversations with myself, as if I'd actually say the things I wanted to say to Jeff to his face ever.

"Uh oh. I know that look," Melina commented as soon as I entered the Divas locker room. She had a towel to her head, trying to pat water from her hair.

"That's the 'Jeff's being a douche' look," Maria added, prompting me to groan miserably at their accuracy and collapse onto a bench. I wasn't even sure when it had become a noticeable occurrence, that I would be upset and fired up because of something Jeff did or said. Everyone seemed to know I rubbed him the wrong way these days, since we'd started being forced to have a working relationship beyond me just being friends with his brother.

"What'd he do this time?" Melina asked, sitting next to me and pulling a comb through her damp tresses the natural spiraled curl reforming every time she pulled the teeth through a strand.

"Just the usual. You know, I say something nice and he says thanks in a way that says he doesn't mean it at all and is inwardly thinking 'you're not good enough to lick my boots, nevermind speak to me'." Melina laughed slightly and Maria gave me a pitiful look. I know how overdramatic it sounded, but imagine having this image of this guy your whole life, even meeting him a few times and finding him sweet, until you end up working with him an find out what a scumbag he is. It sucks.

"I don't know what his problem is," Maria said, shaking her head. "He's always nice to me. Doesn't say much anyway, but he's generally pleasant."

"He just wants you," Melina prompted as if it was the most obvious thing in the world and I snorted in response. That had to be the furthest thing from the truth I had ever heard anyone say.

"Jeff wants me about as bad as he wants a hernia. He just doesn't like me for some reason. I think it's cause I don't wrestle. But I'm going to OVW at the end of the month. It's not my fault my dad's overprotective and wouldn't train me himself." I'd always asked for training when I was younger, but he'd never allowed it, wouldn't even entertain the thought. So I'd dropped it until the end of high school, when I knew I would be stuck flipping burgers if I didn't get my foot in the door somewhere.

"Don't sweat it Xan. He'll loosen up," Melina assured me, though I didn't buy it one bit. Getting to my feet lazily, I cringed at the nickname. Okay, it's not that bad. Not nearly as bad as my full first name. Xanadu. Ugh. My mother is such a hippie. Of course, dad managed to coax her out of naming my brothers weird names. They got lucky with Gunner and Kevin. But being the first born, dad was more submissive in his new marriage so he let mom name me after that stupid Olivia Newton John movie. I hate being called Xanadu. I don't like being called Xan. And I prefer when people call me X. Just X.

Guess who calls me Xanadu every chance he gets?

Yeah, I don't think I have to tell you who.

"I've known him for almost a year now and he still hasn't 'loosened up'," I reminded them, using air quotes on the last two words. "It's like he has it out for me. I feel like the kid with coke bottle glasses in high school and he's the quarterback of the football team. It's like there's a sign on my forehead that says 'please make my life miserable'," I dramatized. You might be thinking, shut up you whiney brat, but I'm only nineteen. That's it. I am allowed to be bothered by things like this.

"Oh he can't be that bad," Melina countered. She'd known Jeff a while too, and he probably was nice and cordial with her, just like every other person around that wasn't either a friend or enemy. Me though, I had a target on my back or something.

"Maybe you're right. Maybe he does like her. Maybe he just hasn't grown up yet and being mean to a girl is the way he thinks he'll gain your affection," Maria commented with a shrug. I laughed bitterly.

"Sure. Whatever. I need to shower. I get to spend the next three days with Rainbow Brite," I groaned, trudging over to the showers and pulling my shirt over my head as I did.

I hopped in the shower and did my thing, trying to wash the anger and aggravation Jeff caused me by his simple dismissal of my compliment down the drain. When I got out I changed into some comfortable pants, flip-flops and an old Metallica tank that had seen better days. I towel dried my hair and combed it quickly, slinging it up into a clip and then I got out of the showers, throwing my stuff in my bag, rushing so that I didn't get to the car and see Jeff was even more annoyed with me for having to wait around.

"See ya," I said to the girls that were still straggling as I exited the locker room. I went to catering with my duffel bag over my shoulder casually and spotted the older Hardy brother.

"Hey," I greeted Matt and company. He was sitting at a table with Paul London and Brian Kendrick, all three men equipped with their respective coffees… and well, chocolate milk, as it seemed was Brian's preference for the moment. It was probably a good idea; he needs coffee like a hole in the head.

"Xanadu, Xanaduuuu," Brian started singing under his breath. I catch him doing that all the time. My eyes cut sharply in his direction and he pursed his lips to hide what he'd already been caught doing.

"Brian, I'm going to kill you if you don't shut your pretty mouth right now," I snapped. Paul snickered while Brian immediately ceased the continuation of his musical number, deciding it wasn't worth the risk of death.

"I can't help it. Every time I see you it just gets stuck in my head…" Brain explained the reason for singing that stupid song from that stupid movie. "Change your name or something."

"It should be your entrance theme. I'm gonna pitch that idea to the writers," Paul joked. I scowled and smacked his shoulder, the dark haired kid yelping and holding his shoulder as though I'd done damage. "Assault!" he whined loudly, a few heads turning to look in our direction.

"Oh please," I mumbled, shaking my head and trying not to smile and encourage the two of them.

"I wish I had a cool name like Xanadu. Nope, I'm just boring Brain. Blech," Kendrick mused to himself before sucking about half the bottle of his milk down, and wiping his mouth across his forearm, and white sweatshirt, now stained with a streak of brown, cocoa colored milk.

"Well you can have my name, you spaz," I offered, handing him a napkin to try and save his sweatshirt, his eyes bugging out when he noticed the mess he'd made.

While Brian tried unsuccessfully to remove the stain, I tuned to Matt, who looked packed and wired on caffeine already. "Ready?" I questioned him, assuming Jeff probably hadn't been willing to wait for me and had gone to the car instead.

"Still waitin' on Jeff," he informed me, shaking his head and then sipping his coffee. I rolled my eyes for the second time. For once I wasn't the Diva, this time it was Jeff.

"God, you know he'd slow if I'm ready first," I pointed out. But I lost my train of thought when I caught someone out of the corner of my eye and smiled. "Be right back," I told my friends and I rose from the table, walking towards the catering table where my target was.

I shoved the larger man from behind, causing him to stumble no more than a few steps as he looked over his shoulder to see whom his assailant was. I had moved to the other side of him though, and tapped his shoulder, prompting him to turn around the other way before he finally caught sight of me and smile. "Hey, what's up?" I greeted, trying to contain the love-stricken smile struggling to break free.

"Not a whole lot. Except I'm being physically abused by a coworker at the moment," he teased, grabbing a bottle of water from the cooler and twisting the cap off. His squinted eyed smirk pulled across his lips, the butterflies in my stomach fighting to break free like they were trapped in a jar.

"You're a big boy, you'll get over it," I joked, patting him on the shoulder and sending him a flirtatious smile. I wasn't great at it, that's for sure. Most guys I'd gone to school with were terrified of my father's wrath, and hadn't even tried, and those that had… well, there's a reason I've never really had a boyfriend.

Randy smirked towards me as he opened his water bottle. "Interested in seeing exactly how big of a boy I am?" I scoffed and blushed at the same time at his suggestive comment, even though he laughed after he said it, part of me knew that somewhere in there was a legitimate offer. He had been actively speaking to me for weeks. And damn if I wasn't a sucker for it.

But I tried my best to play it cool and casual. "Yeah, just let me call my dad and let him know what we're doing," I teased back at him. He put his hands up in mock surrender, eye wide and fearful, splashing some of the opened water onto the floor as he did. "Slick," I giggled.

"Hey, shut it." He took a swing of the water and then nonchalantly leaned against the wall, his forearm resting against it close enough to touch my hair if he wanted, by back already comfortable against the cool cement. He was leaning over me almost, but not so boldly, as he knew my father had eyes and ears everywhere. It made him smart. . "So, what're your plans the next few days?"

"Going to Cameron with Mateo and his ever pleasant brother," I told Randy, giving him a look that implied I was not so excited about the last part of that.

"Sounds… thrilling," Randy replied sarcastically. Nether Matt nor Jeff were high on Randy's 'buddy list' and I sighed and lightly kicked him in the shin, barely touching him really though.

"Matt's fine. It's just Jeff that has that stick up his ass all the time. We try and avoid each other as best we can when I stay there usually," I said with a shrug. He nodded, even though I knew he really didn't understand, and didn't care for either one of them, despite what I said.

"Well, speaking of Hardys, I think you better run off to your guard dog. He's giving me the evil eye," Randy told me, gesturing over my shoulder with a nod of his head. I turned to find Matt glaring at us, Jeff by his side, inspecting his chipped fingernail polish. Matt waved his arm at me and I held up a finger to let him know I'd be right there.

"I'll see you around I guess," I said to Randy when I faced him again. I gave him a hug and smiled when his strong arms enveloped my body. Jesus his body is like a rock. And he smells like a clean, clean man.

"I'll give you a call sometime this week," he assured me when I pulled away.

"Okay," I giggled shyly. "Bye." I walked backwards a few steps and gave him a little wave before turning and jogging over to the brothers, grabbing my bag off the table. Brian and Paul had disappeared somewhere and all I was left with was a stern-eyed Matt and a moody looking Jeff. Neither one said anything to me as I approached, instead just leading the way to the car. I chose to trail a pace behind Matt, deciding a lecture form him was better than hearing Jeff bitch at me anyday.

"So what's the glare for?" I finally asked Matt, since he apparently wasn't going to bring it up. I knew what it was for. It was basically a rhetorical question.

"I don't like him…" Matt simply stated. Here we go. "He only wants one thing."

"Oh my god, you sound like my father. According to both of you, every guy in the world only wants one thing," I scoffed. Matt could be ridiculous sometimes. He almost bit Shannon Moore's head off once when he asked me on a date. Needless to say, the date never happened. I liked Shannon, but I wasn't going to be the cause of a falling out between two best friends.

"He's not a bad guy," I defended Randy. We'd been talking and texting for a few weeks, and he'd been pretty cool. He hadn't even made a real effort to do anything yet, which is more than most guys would probably restrain themselves when they flirt with a girl.

"He's a tool if I've ever seen one," Jeff added in his two cents. Not that anyone here cared.

"That's rich coming from you," I snapped back. Jeff is not included in this conversation anyway, so I don't know why he's even talking.

"Okay, don't start X. Jeff's right. Orton's a tool. He's manipulative. He's disrespectful. He does anythin' he can to get to the top. And it works too because of who his father is," Matt explained.

"Sounds familiar," I heard Jeff mutter under his breath, only, I'm sure he purposely said it loud enough for me to hear.

"Oh please Jeff! Why don't you just shut the hell up? Go find a ring rat or something," I growled, having had about enough from the younger of the two brothers.

"Jealous?" he fired back at me.

"Oh yeah, I'm about as jealous of your ring rats as I am of Big Daddy V's," I sneered. Matt was already exasperated with this situation, and he wasn't planning to listen to it much longer.

"Enough all right? Forget about it. Just stop arguing. I'm not drivin' all the way home with you two bickerin' the entire time," Matt nearly shouted. Jeff and I both held our tongues. Angry Matt is not something I want to see. And I could tell he was on the verge of coming out. Apparently, Jeff wasn't testing his luck either, because we both shut up.

I climbed into the backseat of the car and Jeff made himself comfortable in the passenger's seat. As Matt turned on the car, Pearl Jam began blaring loudly through the speakers. I cringed and covered my ears.

"Matt…" I whined, not needing to hear the music that loud. Jeff had made me agitated, and they could both suffer for it, because I know how much they like to drive with the volume to eleven.

He sighed lowered the volume, likely dreading the next three days of hositility he was probably about to endure. SO I offered him a smile, which he caught through he rearview mirror and gave him a sweet, "Thank you," knowing I was forgiven when he smiled back.


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