Portrait to Portrait

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

A/N: This is a oneshot inspired by Jamie Lawrence from MuggleCast(which you should all listen to). He suggested in episode 102 that someone should make a video and post it on youtube about Snape and Dumbledore's portrait conversations. So, it's not a video but a fanfic is good enough.


Dumbledore: (humming softly to himself)

Snape: (grumbles) Albus, you're doing it again.

Dumbledore: Oh, sorry Severus. (rocks back and forth in his chair, his hands in his lap)

Snape: (sits in silence, examining his finger nails)

Dumbledore: (starts to whistle Do the Hippogriff)

Snape: Darnit Albus!

Dumbledore: Aw Severus, am I doing it again?

Snape: You think?

Dumbledore: Relax Severus...

Snape: Why should I relax when you're driving me up a wall?

Dumbledore: (laughs) But in fact Severus, we are on a wall.

Snape: Oh be quiet. You know what I meant.

Dumbledore: As I remind you, we wouldn't be here if you hadn't killed me Severus.

Snape: (groans) Not this again...

Dumbledore: Well, I think it should be mentioned.

Snape: I've said it before, it was on your orders!

Dumbledore: It is our choices Harry...

Snape: There you go again-

Dumbledore: Far more than our abilities...

Snape: Why do you always say that? And do I seriously need to say this ALL the time. I'm SE-VER-US.

Dumbledore: (eyes twinkling)

Snape: Stop looking at me like that Albus.

Dumbledore: I can look at you however I want. You killed me.

Snape: Are you ever going to let it go?

Dumbledore: (shrugs) Maybe. Maybe not.

Snape: And what was it you once said, um, and I quote, "to the well organized mind death is but the next great adventure?"

Dumbledore: (nods) Yes I did say that.

Snape: So what changed your mind?

Dumbledore: Oh I don't know Severus..perhaps death?

Snape: You know, I don't even know why I talk to you.

Dumbledore: It's our choices Harry...

Snape: Not again...

Dumbledore: far more than our abilities..

Snape: You know, why didn't you make Harry headmaster, have me kill him, and then hang his portrait next to you instead of me.

Dumbledore: Now now Severus, are you jealous?

Snape: Me? Jealous? Ah you make me laugh Albus.

Dumbledore: Oh do I? I never thought I tickled your funny bone before.

Snape: Hmph. You still never told me about what you did with Harry last year. And why it was so important to give him the sword.

Dumbledore: Ah Severus, you will know in due course..

Snape: Yeah. Haven't heard that one before. You need some new lines Albus.

Dumbledore: Well, you're not exactly overflowing with wit these days either. You know that I lost some of mine after you killed me.

Snape: For the life of me Albus,

Dumbledore: What life?

Snape: (glares at Dumbledore)

Dumbledore: (twinkles at Snape)

The two portraits sit in silence for a few minutes.

Dumbledore: Hey Severus?

Snape: Hm?

Dumbledore: Have you ever been sitting here and suddenly realize you're hungry?

Snape: What?

Dumbledore: Are you ever hungry? I wish I brought my lemon drops with me.

Snape: (stares at Dumbledore, an incredulous look on his face)


A/N: So there you go. Thanks to Jamie for the inspiration. As I said at the top, you should all subscribe to MuggleCast on iTunes. Happy 42nd Birthday to JK Rowling and 27th Birthday to Harry Potter. We all love both of you. So, read and review this oneshot. 1234's are super. I have a few other oneshots planned involving Severus/Lily and, yeah I know, Dumbledore/McGonagall.