Title: Attempt Twenty-Four
Summary: The Marauders were sure the plan would work this time and James is desperate for it to work. With the help of Messrs. Moony, Wormtail and Padfoot - James might just get Lily Evans. "Come on mate, Plan James Will Get Evans Once And For All: Attempt Twenty-Four needs to be put into action."
Disclaimer: I do not profit from this story and all creative rights to the characters belong to the wonderful J.K. Rowling.
Author's Ramblings: This is my first HP fanfic so hopefully it isn't that bad. And I really hope that my (U.K) English is tolerable because even though my grandfather was from England, I am in America. Please enjoy this pointless but fun piece of writing and review if you'd like to.
"Are you sure it will work?" He whispered cautiously throwing covert glances at the redhead working on an essay and sitting by the fireplace in the Gryffindor common room. His hand instinctively rumpled the back of his hair before glancing back up at his fellow Marauders.
"Positive." Sirius nodded brightly and turning to look at Remus, "Right, Moony?"
Remus hesitated, looked at the redhead, then nodded, "'Course. Lily will go for it. It is hers in the first place."
"I'm sure it'll work James. It just has to. I mean this must be the umpteenth time that you'll ask Lily to go out with you. She hasn't said yes to you before but she sure will this time 'round." Peter piped up in his mousy voice.
James sighed and fought the urge to hit Peter with a bat. "Thanks Wormtail," his voice dripping with sarcasm, "that was enlightening."
Peter glowed at his words, oblivious to the sarcasm, "anytime James."
"Are you really, really sure about this?" James sighed once more and without noticing, ruffled his already messed up hair. He was a sixth year for Merlin's sake and he was James Potter: star chaser of the Gryffindor Quidditch team, a handsome sixth year that made girls swoon just by messing up his hair and giving a dashing smile. He was one of the few students who passed classes with effortless ease – not needing to study for exams nor practice spells. His reflexes, which could have definitely made him Gryffindor Seeker if he had tried out for the spot, made it easy for him to hex other students (especially dear old Snivellus) with swift ease. He was James Potter and he could get any girl he wanted – any girl besides Lily Evans.
However, that's where his problems begin. James Potter was hopelessly pining for Lily Evans. In plain black and white, he loved her. The problem? She didn't seem to return the affection.
"Come on Prongs!" Sirius nudged James heartily and smiled. A few fourth years had been watching the four and giggled as Sirius bared his teeth. "I'm sure this will work. This is one of my foolproof plans; remember that my foolproof plans are thoroughly foolproof."
"Yes, we deduced that much Padfoot." Remus muttered.
Sirius glared at Remus then returned his gaze back to his worried friend. "James, James, James, James, James, how long have we known each other? 'Bout six years now, I reckon." James nodded, "And how many times have my foolproof plans failed?"
"Loads of times." James countered with a chuckle then instantly frowned after realizing that this plan might not work out after all.
"Alright," Sirius said slowly, "but they have worked most of the time."
"Not really." Peter contemplated, "Remember last month when you were sure that our plan to turn Severus' hair yellow would work? Look at how that turned out."
"It turned pink and that ended up being worse for him so technically my plan turned out to be greater than it normally would have been. Ha!" Sirius grinned proudly, "See Prongs? It'll be better than what we imagined it to be. Next thing you know you'll be locking us out of our own room and forcing us to sleep in the common room because you need to use my whip cream on your precious Lily."
"Padfoot," James growled, "I don't need you fantasizing 'bout that right now, or ever for that matter."
Sirius shrugged, "Just a thought."
"James why don't you just try to woo her. Y'know, whisper sweet nothings to her, give her some chocolate, flowers…" Remus suggested but trailed off after seeing the horror plastered on his friends face, "Alright, maybe not. It was just a suggestion but I guess Sirius' plan might work."
"Might? 'Course it will! James will be the luckiest guy in Hogwarts aside from me!" Sirius sat up straight and patted James on the back, "Come on mate, Plan James Will Get Evans Once And For All: Attempt Twenty-Four needs to be put into action."
Remus sighed, "Just be sure to call her 'Lily' this time around, won't you Prongs?" James nodded and watched as Remus and Peter began to walk up the stairs to their room. He then stood up with Sirius and started to walk towards the stairs as well.
Out of the corner of her eye, Lily saw James Annoying Potter glance at her before continuing to converse with his friends in whispers. Sighing she looked up from her Potions essay and impatiently asked, "What are they doing now?"
Her friend Mary Macdonald looked at the huddled Marauders then at the suspicious redhead, "Don't worry about it Lily. They're probably just planning on how to sneak out to the kitchens tonight. I'm pretty sure it has nothing to do with you."
"If they're planning to sneak out then it definitely has something to do with me. I am a prefect and since Remus is one too he shouldn't be encouraging this nonsense." Lily exclaimed- outraged at the fact that they might be planning to sneak out again. "I mean, Potter and Black sneak out every single week for Merlin's sake and Remus sits there and doesn't do a bloody thing to stop them. He's my friend – Remus that is – but sometimes I wish he'd live up to his prefect duties when it comes to those two. And don't even get me started on Potter. Thinking he's the greatest thing to walk on this world when all he does is hex people for fun!
"He's such an arrogant toerag! All these girls just swoon if he just smiles. Yes! They swoon as if he's this celebrity when he definitely isn't! Then he has to bring out the bloody snitch and let Peter wet himself with happiness." She rolled her eyes and glared at James' direction, "I don't see what people see in him. He's just… urgh! Then you've got Sirius-I'm-Bloody-Wicked-Black! He's so full of himself, that git. Every time, you just want to whack him in that head like he's bludger! Ha! But then you've got those girls who just sigh and laugh and giggle, 'Oh Merlin, Sirius! You're so wonderful!' I don't get why people like them they're insufferable."
"Yeah, Lily, I've heard the speech before and you know my thoughts on your opinion." Mary sighed exasperatedly. Lily was her friend, her best friend, but sometimes Lily just lost control when she ranted about the Marauders. She almost wanted to cast a Silencing Charm on her but she just couldn't bring herself to do so. Someday she might have to, someday…
"Just calm down Lils. Breathe in and out. In. Out. In. Out." Mary coached, "Now, clear your mind about James or Sirius or Peter or Remus and focus on your Potions essay."
Lily took a deep breath in before diving back into essay mode. Every few minutes she found herself casting quick glances at the Marauders to check on what exactly they were doing. However, she stopped herself when she realized that if James caught her, he would torture her to no end. Another quick glance showed her that Remus and Peter had gotten to their feet and would head to their room. And within a few seconds she heard a few fourth years sigh as Sirius stood up as well.
Raising his voice to make sure that a certain Gryffindor heard him, James announced, "Hold on Sirius! I think I've forgotten my Potions essay!"
"Prongs! I can't believe you would leave your Potions essay lying around like that!" Sirius exclaimed, a bit too heartily then whispered so quietly that James was the only one to hear him, "Go."
"I'm too tired to go over to the couch. Quidditch practice was long you know, Padfoot?" James continued to raise his voice.
"Merlin, do I! My back's sore from all the flying!"
"Right! I'll just do a Summoning Charm!"
"Go 'head then!" Sirius winked at James and watched as he pulled out his wand and point it at the common room in general.
James flicked his wrist, "Accio Potion's Essay!"
Two seconds passed by before five rolls of parchment zoomed to his hand. While the parchments did surprise James – he never did get over the fact that the Summoning Charm could summon things so quickly – he caught them in his hand without wrinkling them. "Blimey, I didn't know so many people did their Potions essay tonight." He said as he ruffled his hair.
"Not that many people would since it is due next week mate." Sirius pointed out, still keeping his voice loud enough to be heard by the entire common room.
James looked down at the essays before him and decided he had better go on with the plan if he wanted it to work. "Alright, sorry guys. Ah, Frank, Alice, Lenny these are yours." He handed them towards their rightful owners.
He looked down to find Remus' essay, which he smiled at and said, "This would be mine. Here, Padfoot." He pushed the parchment to Sirius then looked down at the remaining parchment with great interest, "And Evans – I mean, Lily. I see I've taken yours."
He raised his eyes from the parchment to look at his soon to be wife who would be the mother to his children, to see her glaring at him. He heard Sirius groan knowing that the first part of their plan – to have Lily go up to James without being mad- had failed. From the looks of things, Lily was mad.
James reminded himself that he was a Gryffindor, which meant that he was chosen to be in Gryffindor, that it meant he was supposed to be brave. Summoning all his courage, he walked up to the irritated Lily Evans and happily greeted her, "All right, Evans?"
Lily continued to glare at her fellow Gryffindor, "Potter. I'd like my-"
He took the seat next to her and waved the piece of parchment in front of her, "I seem to have gotten your Potions essay. 'Amortentia by Lily Evans.' Great introduction, Evs." He continued to ignore the glaring and hoped she would stop trying to burn a hole in his head, "'Easily the most powerful Love Potion in the world, it causes an obsession in the-'"
She snatched the parchment from his hands and smacked him on the head, "Thank you, Potter, for handing back my essay so quickly. I don't know how I'm ever going to repay you." Lily hissed with sarcasm on every word then grabbed her quill and her books from the couch and walked toward the girls' dormitory.
Deciding to abandon the plan, James stood up and grabbed hold of her elbow. "Oh, I know exactly how you can repay me," he whispered.
Appalled and infuriated at his attitude – he's a sixth year! He should be more mature! – Lily Evans did what no one thought she would. She turned to face James Annoying Potter and gave a sickeningly sweet smile, "Oh really James? Because I just thought of something that would be so much better."
James was floored by her sudden change in attitude. One moment she was smacking him on the head and now she was smiling at him. Merlin, he did not understand how girls' minds worked.
He stuttered, "R-r-really?" He managed to croak out whilst Sirius was doubling with laughter at his best mate's shocked face.
Lily fluttered her eyelashes and bit her lip shyly, "Yes, really. Why don't you come to my room and find out?"
Everyone in the common room who had stayed to watch the confrontation gaped at Lily's words. Exactly one thought crossed each of their minds: Did Gryffindor Prefect Lily Evans just invite James Potter to her room?
Sirius' eyes were as wide as saucers as he mumbled, "Prongs, you stag."
"Uh…Ehem…Right. Sure, why not?" James blinked rapidly as he followed her to the foot of the stairs, his mouth wide open.
"You really want to come?" Lily asked, still using her sickeningly-sweet-too-good-to-be-true voice, as she closed his mouth with her thumb.
"'Course." James nodded vigorously and took a step up the stairs that led to the girls' dormitory. He savored each step up the stairs relishing the fact that Sirius' plan actually worked. I am going to go to Lily Evans' room and I have no idea what we're going to do but it's going to be great. Merlin, I must remember to thank Padfoot and name him Godfather to my first child. And must remember to tell Moony that I didn't even need to woo Evans. Must tell Wormtail that Padfoot's plans do work out better. Forget about the Marauders, James! You're about to snog Lily Evans sense-
James wasn't sure what happened. He had just been telling himself that he was going to do unspeakable things to his beloved Lily when he lost his footing and slid back into the common room. "Wha-?" He looked up at the set of stairs and found them no longer stairs, rather a stony slide. James fixed his glasses to see if he was seeing clearly, did the stairs turn into a slide? As he surveyed the slide, he found Lily Evans at the top of the slide surrounded by girls who were pointing at him – all of them seemingly laughing at him.
He growled and stood up, fixing his robes, "Evans!"
"Night, Potter!" And with that she disappeared and the slide turned back into stairs as other girls decided to rest after the little show.
James continued to growl as he ruffled his hair whilst shaking his head, ignoring the calls of other fellow Gryffindors. He stopped at Sirius who had fallen to the floor in a fit of laughter, tears pouring out of the corners of his eyes. "Oy, mate. Ha ha ha! Evans – you – stairs – slide!"
James glared at his so-called best friend and kicked him, "Padfoot! Stop laughing!"
Sirius regained composure and stood up then after looking at James he snorted and burst into uncontrollable laughter. "I'm sorry, Prongs. But, ha, Evans! She's a bloody genius, she is." He placed his right hand on James shoulder who continued to glower at him.
"You said this plan would work."
"You didn't stick to the plan." Sirius said, a desire to laugh still evident on his face. "You weren't supposed to follow her. You were supposed to ask for her Potions book but no you abandoned the plan. But I'm not complaining." Sirius snickered as he ran up the boys' stairs towards their room.
"Oh shut up."
"I'm never going let you live this down, Prongs. It'll be a great story to tell when we're older." He paused and talked like an old man, "Say, James, remember the good ol' days at Hogwarts? There was that one time - oh Merlin - I think I've forgotten how it goes. Oh wait! I remember, now. You tried to go up the girls' stairs. Oh dear…" He received a smack in the head, "Ouch, touchy."
"And you never told me about the girls' stairs, you dolt."
Sirius grinned as he pushed open the door to their room, "You never asked."
Remus sat up from his bed and Peter stopped rummaging through his rucksack to look up at the two anxiously. "So?" Remus asked pointedly, "Did it work?"
Sirius snorted, "No. Though Prongs did have a little fun tonight didn't you, eh?" He prodded James with his elbow then turned to Remus and Peter, "See here, James decided to abandon the plan-"
"Bloody hell, James!" Sirius shouted as he rubbed his head with one hand, and picked up the Remembrall that was thrown at him with the other. He frowned at James then looked at the Remembrall, "Why, thanks for the Remembrall Prongs! Yes! This will help me to know if I've forgotten a part of the story!"
A/N: Good? Bad? Wonderful? Horrific? What did you think?