This is a song fic that goes with my story, Friend of the Past and Future, chapter 6 before she spars with Murtagh. It's Selena's POV. The song is "I Hate Myself for Losing You" by Kelly Clarkson.

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I woke up today

Woke up wide awake

In and empty bed

Staring at an empty room

Selena leaned on the window sill and gazed at nothing in particular. She was alone. Without a friend except for Murtagh who was half mad.

I have myself to blame

For this state I'm in today

And now dying doesn't seem so cruel

And, oh

I don't know what to say

And I don't know anyway, anymore

Selena mentally kicked herself for losing him again. Eragon.

I hate myself for losing you

I'm seeing it all so clear

I hate myself for losing you

What do you do when you look in the mirror?

And staring at you is why he's not here

She put her face into her hands and thought. She thought hard about how she had lost him for the second time. But this time, it was her fault completely. She hated herself.

You got what you deserved

Hope you're happy now

'cause every time I think of both of you

It's killing me inside

And now I dread each day

Knowing that I can't be saved

From the loneliness of living without you

Selena thought of how she saw Eragon look at Arya. He was probably happier with Selena gone. Now, she was all alone, without him.

And oh, I don't know what to do

Not sure that I'll pull through

I wish you knew

I hate myself for losing you

I'm seeing it all so clear

I hate myself for losing you

What do you do when you look in the mirror

And staring at you is why he's not here

How could she have been so stupid? Selena was now regretting herself and realizing that she had messed up.

I hate myself for losing you

And oh, I don't know what to do

Not sure that I'll pull through

I wish you knew, I wish you knew

And oh, I don't know what to say

And I don't know anyway, anymore

no, no

Selena was mad at herself and not thinking of what she could do to help herself.

I hate myself for losing you

I'm seeing it all so clear

I hate myself for losing you

What do you say, when everything you said

Is the reason why he left you in the end?

How do you cry when every day you said?

Don't ever bring him back again

"Why are you crying?" Selena jolted out of her trance and turned around to see Murtagh leaning against the doorpost.

"I'm so stupid! I'm the one who caused my own misery." Selena said in monotone. She wasn't about to tell Murtagh that she had possibly loved Eragon and he her.

I hate my self for loving you…

Author's note: I hope you enjoyed this! I love this song by Kelly Clarkson from her cd, Breakaway.

Atra du evarinya ono varda!

May the stars watch over you!

-CrystalDragonRider