The Vance Resentment

Remus Lupin woke up in the morning with his arms wrapped around the woman he loved. And at that time, he felt happy, happier than he had been in about ten years. It had been that long since he had been with Emmeline Vance before, that long since Hogwarts. He glanced at the clock. It was 11:09 am. He thought about getting up, but then he decided against it and snuggled closer to Emma. He sighed and said quietly to himself, "Emma, I love you."

"I know you do." She rolled over and kissed him sweetly. After pulling away, she said, "What? Surprised?"

"Just a little bit. I thought you were asleep."

"Well, too bad. I'm not." She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him as tightly as she could, afraid to let him go.

He almost laughed. "I'm not going anywhere."

"I know. I won't let you."

"We're going to have to get up eventually."

"Don't remind me." She laid her face upon his chest and sighed in contentment. "Remus, I don't want you to leave me ever again. Why did we even break up?"

"You got scared when I told you that I was a werewolf—all right, you were barely scared but you were also upset that I hadn't told you sooner."

"I remember distinctly that it wasn't me that said we shouldn't be together."

"And after that, I—very stupidly, mind you—said that we couldn't be together because I was afraid that, after the shock wore off, you would resent me."

"I could never resent you, Remus. I love you."

"I was seventeen."

"So was I."

Remus regretfully sat up. "It's time to get up."

"Oh, do we have to?" she asked, sitting as well but pulling the sheets up to her chest to cover it—even if it was only Remus there.

"Yes, it's quarter after eleven o'clock."

"Fine." He slowly got out of bed and kissed her one last time before going into the bathroom. She collapsed onto the pillow with a very long head-over-heels sigh.

Later that day, Emmeline Vance sat at the table in his kitchen, next to Remus Lupin (her best friend and lover). She sighed in slight annoyance. "You're going to keep investigating? Listen; if we find out why Jon Page was killed, we'll probably get killed too. I already believe that Sirius is innocent and I'm guessing that that is the reason that he was killed. He got evidence. And don't you think that the stupid Death Eaters would prefer Sirius to be in Azkaban instead of out chasing after them? They didn't have a good reason, but that's what they do!"

"I can't just believe that Sirius is innocent. James was my best friend and I can't think about his murderer so lightly. If it wasn't Sirius, who was it?"

"I don't know. But I don't care."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Sure, I'd like to know who killed Lily and James, but they've been dead for over five years." Emma took his hand at that and held it to her chest. "Remus, I love you and you are all I care about right now. Can't we just forget them for once?"

"Forget them? We can't just forget them?"

"It's been five years!" she cried. "We will always have our memories of them and everyone else, but it's been five years. We need to move on with our lives. They would want us to do that. They would want us to be together."

"I don't think they would want us to not know who their murderer was."

"In due time, Remus, all in due time. We will know some day. Perhaps tomorrow, perhaps in another five years. Who really knows?"

"I don't know who really knows, but I want to really know." He took his hand away from her. "I'm going to go. You can stay here if you want."

"Where are you going to go?" she asked.

"I'm not sure now. I need to go for a walk."

"Fine." She got up and went back to his bedroom, throwing herself on the bed.

Remus Lupin made his way around the block, many thoughts moving through is mind. He didn't know where he was going but he needed to know the truth. He had to know who really killed Lily and James Potter if it wasn't Sirius. He needed to know what made Kat Watson commit suicide. He needed to know why Sirius killed Peter if Sirius was innocent—or what really happened that night. He needed to know who killed Jon Page. He needed to know the truth.

After coming to the conclusion that he wasn't going to get anywhere just walking around, he thought about visiting the Daily Prophet to meet with Victoria Henderson but then decided against it. He also decided against seeing Sirius, still to upset with the possibilities—and the probability that it was Sirius that murdered Lily and James. Besides, Emma was correct when she said something about whatever Sirius might have said would not be evidence. He could always hire another P.I., but that person would probably get killed too.

With that, he realized that the only way he was going to find out the truth was if he did exactly what Jon did—except the getting killed. But even if he was killed, he would feel better, more at peace. Of course, he couldn't quite figure out exactly what Jonathon Page did and he didn't want to visit Sirius. But he knew he had to if he was to learn the truth.

Azkaban Prison was looming over him. Remus Lupin slowly made his way inside and eventually to cell number 286 was in view. He paused, not sure if he could continue. He took another step forward, but then decided against it and turned around. He just couldn't face him. Sirius had been one of his best friends, and, if he did the murders, he couldn't just forgive him. He couldn't do it—not just yet. He the hurriedly made his way away from the island in the sea.

Emmeline Vance sat in wait at Remus Lupin's apartment. After having some lasagna for dinner, she sat and watched The Goonies, which was made in 1985. It was one of her favorite movies and she was glad that he had the movie. Finally, around 11:00 pm, Remus came in. She shut off the movie just as "Captain" Chunk and Sloth came to save the day. Getting up, she made her way over to him, still somewhat annoyed. "So," she said, "what did you find out?"

"Absolutely nothing," he said dazedly.

"When will you learn?"

He ignored that comment and sat down at his desk to go through more papers.

After seeing what he was doing, she grew very irritated. "Remus, you can't keep on doing this! You need sleep. Have you even had lunch or dinner? You've learned nothing and you want to keep searching. Sure, it's been only a day and it was obvious that Page didn't learn everything in a day, but seriously."

"Go away. I'm trying to work."

She clenched her teeth. "Remus, it's after eleven o'clock. You need to at least get some sleep before you go back to this. I'm worried about you."

"I can't," he said. "I need to find out the truth. Maybe then I can go see Sirius."

"Maybe then you can be dead!" she screamed. "Are you just going to ignore everything else? Your happiness? Your hunger? Your sleep? Your life, Remus? Are you going to ignore your life?" She snatched his hand and held it tight, making him turn to her. "Damn it, Remus, I love you. I can't let you do this!"

"I can do whatever the hell I want!" he snapped and pulled away from her.

The tears that had already started welling up in her eyes were loosed and she let out a regretful sigh. "Then I shouldn't have let it happen," she said quietly. She barely noticed him glance at her before going back to his work. "Remus," she said seriously, catching his attention at how calm and resolute she was, "if you do this, I shall resent you forever."

"Emma," he sighed, "I have to."

"No, you don't. But I can tell you want it more than you want me." She paused, her calm voice now dissipating. "You lied to me!" she screamed before grabbing her jacket and storming from his residence. "I never want to see you again!" She slammed the door and broke into tears outside his room.

Sirius Black sat in cell number 286, hoping against hope that at least someone would visit him. And although he was at first unaware of the footsteps growing closer, he was surprised that someone did visit him. "I'm getting a lot of visits lately," he said as Emma Vance stood before him. He looked at her closely and saw that her eyes were red and puffy—which wasn't exactly the prettiest site in the world. "What's wrong, Emma?" he asked curiously.

"Nothing."

"Oh, come on, Vance."

"It's just Remus."

"What did the loon do now?"

"He lied to me."

"What did he say?" He was now extremely curious as to what could make he so upset.

"Really, you don't want to bother yourself in my love life."

"Well, it would be pretty fun as I have none since I'm in Azkaban and… you know. But if you don't want to talk about it, then I'll live. So what's going on? What are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to see a friendly face. There are so few right now. And I can't even talk to Remus because he's obsessing about finding out the truth about Lily and James's death. I swear, he's gonna get himself killed."

Sirius nodded in understanding.

Remus Lupin sat down at his desk again, having not slept in two days and eaten only once a day. "Damn!" he said, tossing aside the folder he was looking through. The papers were tossed about the room and her groaned in annoyance. He got up and laid down on the sofa with a heavy sigh. He laid his left hand on his forehead and glanced outside. It was growing dark and there were only five days until the full moon. He sighed again and looked at the ceiling.

The full moon wasn't what was bothering him. He always dreaded it, but he had learned to live with it. But he didn't think he could learn to live with his latest mistake. Still, he knew that he would have to deal with the consequences. He could try to speak with her, but Emma would ignore him and leave. He hadn't lied to her when he said that he loved her. He did. It was just all this murder and things coming up. He wanted to know the truth, yes, but was it really worth losing her? He was in love with her but he had a feeling that she could never feel that way again.

He slowly got up and sat down at his desk, organizing his papers, then, putting them in their rightful place. He stood up and walked around the room, picking up the papers before throwing them into the trash. He knew that he could no longer be with Emma Vance, the woman he had loved since he was sixteen years old, but he wouldn't completely throw his life away for a cause that would only give people pain.


Well, that's the end of it, folks. I hope you enjoyed it while it lasted. Depressing, I know, but it doesn't fit with canon otherwise. Besides, we all know now that Remus and Sirius made up and that Remus fell in love (again, to correspond with this fic). So there kind of is a happy ending... even if all of them die. But whatever.

Thanks so much for reading this. Please leave me a review!

Anatui