Okay. Forget that Edward was never there for a Halloween with Bella. You're sitting in my twisted universe.

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. But that's hardly surprising.

"I am not wearing this, Bella," Edward grumbles.

"Yes, you are," I reply. "And it's not as if you look bad."

"Are you kidding me? You and Alice go shopping together—and we all know that's never a good sign—and come back with this? I appreciate the irony, but this is the single most ridiculous thing you could make me do."

I raise my eyebrow. If he honestly believes that I can't think of something more ridiculous than this, he's in for a shock.

"You, on the other hand," he continues, "have a much more appropriate costume." His eyes graze over me, making me blush.

I'm dressed as an angel. All Alice's idea. It's a white dress that's very pretty—if a little too low-cut for my tastes—with feathery-looking wings.

"You just don't want to go," I accuse. Edward's gaze turns exasperated.

"Of course I don't want to go. Being stuck in a gym with a handful of adolescents is hardly my idea of a good time. But you insist that it's a human experience that you don't want to miss."

"I'm certainly glad I didn't miss it," Emmett says, poking his head through the door way, a look of impish glee on his face. I snicker when Edward's eyes narrow in on the camera in his hands.

"You are not taking pictures," he growls. "It's enough that Alice forced me into to this absurd costume. I'm not going to risk having photos plague me for the next century as a reminder."

Just then, Jasper walks in with Alice. Alice grins appreciatively and Jasper starts chuckling.

"Shall I throw you a bone, Edward?" he taunts. Emmett's laughter booms in the background. I can't keep the grin off of my face.

Edward turns to glare at Jasper and Emmett takes advantage of the situation, quickly snapping a photo. Edward freezes.

"I am going to murder you, Emmett," he says. Emmett doesn't stop taking pictures, and when Edward lunges at him, the camera is neatly tossed to Jasper, who immediately gives it to Alice.

"You know," she says conversationally, "Bella should be the one to hold onto this."

So she runs over to me, barely dodging Edward, and places the device in my hands. I smile wickedly. Edward wouldn't dare attack me.

He turns to me, golden eyes smoldering. "Give me the camera, Bella," he whispers in my ear.

I feel my resolve weaken, but really wanting to see these pictures developed, I quickly devise a fool-proof plan.

I shove the camera down the bodice of the dress. Edward's eyes about pop out of his head in shock. We all know he's not going there.

Carlisle walks in, looks at me with a camera-shaped lump in my dress, and walks off muttering, "I don't want to know."

Emmett is in hysterics; Alice and Jasper aren't far behind.

I smile apologetically. "Sorry, Edward. I just really want pictures of this."

I somehow doubt he'll ever dress up as a werewolf for Halloween again.

I'm sorry if this is slightly lame, but it's like 2:00 in the morning. My brain does weird things.