(Hey guys. This is my penance to you all for being an evil prat and not updating Fides or His Nightmares for the last few weeks. Suffice to say, I've been busy as hell, and I keep forgetting to update. HOWEVER! I'm back to regular updates, and the next chapter of HN will be up tomorrow. To tide you over, here's the first Scrubs story I ever wrote. Hope you enjoy! Comments appreciated, Concrit loved.)
"It's so totally happening right now!"
"Elliot, hun, I think you're exaggerating the odds that people in this hospital actually have for that type of thing."
"Nu uh! It's true! It's more possible than you think!"
Turk watched the exchange from a ways down the hall, wonder what was going down. Elliot was standing across from Carla, who was currently leaning on the desk countertop in front of her, a file absentmindedly hanging from her palm, papers threatening to leak to the floor. Carla's expression was that of passive annoyance, something not uncommon when dealing with Elliot, while the other girl stood defiantly, hands on hips, with an "I-know-I'm-right" stare plastered on her face.
"Would you get your mind out of the gutter and realize that you're just freaking out over nothing?"
"If you walked in on two of the new interns making out in the girls' locker room, you'd be freaked out too, Carla!"
At the words "making out" and "girls' locker room," Turk's interest in the conversation immediately skyrocketed. He pushed off the wall and walked over. "Hey babe," he said, pulling Carla in for a little PDA. "What's got you two ladies all out of sorts?"
"Elliot walked in on two female interns getting a little friendly, and now she thinks that at any time during the hospital, you can find at least one couple getting it on."
"Well, considering that we work here, ain't that pretty likely?" he said, a grin sneaking onto his lips. Carla gave him a smile back, leaning up to give him another kiss.
"When you two are done with your risqué show for the hospital, can you PLEASE hear me out?" The couple turned exasperatedly towards Elliot, who was now tapping her foot, a slight frown on her lips. "I'm serious Carla; I'd place money on being able to find somebody getting to at least second base at Sacred Heart right at this moment!"
"Twenty bucks says you can't find that situation in the next hour."
Turk watched the girls stare each other down. Where is Vanilla Bear, he'd love to get in on this, he thought as Elliot gave a curt nod.
"Fine. I'm off my shift in twenty minutes."
"And timer starts now!" said Turk, causing both women to look at him in surprise. "Come on Elliot, the hospital is dead right now anyways. No one will notice you're gone. Plus, I wanna go see if I can find some hot lesb-" he changed words when Carla shot a daggerish glare at him "-I mean, I think you'd get a more thorough search if I tagged along. You don't mind me helping her a little, do ya babe?"
Carla shrugged. "Ah, I might as well join you. Laverne, you can cover, can't you?"
"Mhmm," the older nurse said, not looking up from her latest issue of People.
The three of them headed out into the halls of Sacred Heart. They started in the locker rooms; it seemed the most obvious choice. When they heard moans coming out of the men's locker room, Turk refused to go in. He was a manly man, damnit, and he did not wanna watch two guys getting it on. Not that there was anything wrong with that, but it wasn't on the top of his Things Turk Really Wants to Watch list. However, it just turned out to be some guy having fun with himself, and since they'd agreed on it being a couple getting it on, Elliot walked out sulking. The guy, however, didn't seem to mind two sexy women walking in on him during his masturbation session. He was muttering something about "lesbian fantasies" as the girls scurried out.
They checked all of the patients rooms next. The likelihood that someone would be doing the vertical hokey pokey with someone currently in a coma was slim, but it didn't hurt to check. After all, coma patient rooms were the best places to get it on. That was on Turk's Awesome Things to Remember list and Carla's Things I Told Turk Never to Say Outloud in Public list. But alas, no sexing was to be found. Not even a little over-the-shoulder action, Turk noted glumly as they exited the last patient's room they needed to check out.
As they were passing down one seemingly deserted hallway, however, they heard shuffling noises and groans coming out a storage closet. The three quietly snuck towards the door. As they got closer, they could hear someone saying, "oh god, don't stop," and the heavy breathing of two distinct people. Turk thought he recognized the voice, but it had been too hoarse and quiet to really make out.
He stepped to the side as the girls backed up in front of the door, giving him room to swing it open. He gripped the handle, a silly grin on his face, as the other two looked on, waiting. One, he mouthed, two… the handle clicked, and the door swung open.
The words out of Elliot's mouth perfectly described the situation at hand. Dr. Cox was leaning back against the left wall, head resting between two mop handles. His eyes were practically rolled into the back of his head, eyelashes fluttering; as his closet companion used the hand they had shoved down the front of Dr. Cox's pants to pleasure him. Their lips were smashed together, tongues colliding and wrapping together. Dr. Cox was gripping the other person's forearms in a vice like grip, and his legs were slightly spread in attempts to keep himself standing. The other person was doing a good job of making Perry Cox weak-kneed, it seemed.
This other person happened to be JD.
His own eyes were closed, concentrated on savoring the taste of Perry's tongue and the feel of Perry's cock on the palm of his hand. His hair was mussed from its hair gelled perfection, and his scrubs shirt was currently on the floor below him.
It took both him and Perry a few moments before they realized what was going on.
Both suddenly froze, eyes opening in shock and glancing to the side. Turk was standing to the left, jaw gaping open, and sputtering out guttural noises of confusion. Elliot was to the right of him, eyes wide as those of a deer caught in the headlights. Carla was next to her, and somehow, a twenty dollar bill had managed to appear in her hand.
"You win," she said quietly, shoving the bill into Elliot's hand. She then turned and walked to Turk. "Come on baby; let's get you out of here before your brain explodes." She ushered him away, whispering soothing noises as he continued to make sounds; unable to articulate what his brain was currently trying to process.
Elliot was still standing there, staring at the two. By this time, JD had pulled his face away from Perry's (though left his hand down Perry's pants, the older doctor noted with satisfaction), and his cheeks were a rush of red.
"Dr. Cox… wha-"
Perry had grown tired of being gawked at, and reached out, grabbing the door handle and slamming it closed in Elliot's face before she could get out a question. "Barbie's lucky she didn't kill my hard-on," he muttered, turning back to look at JD. The other man was staring off to the side, an embarrassed smile spread on his pink-tinged cheeks.
"That was an… erm… interesting way for them to find out," JD said, looking back up at him with a nervous expression. "I hope Chocolate Bear doesn't get all freaky on me after this." He sighed, his expression getting glum.
"Fuck Gahndi. No wait, you'd better not be, nor ever plan on it," Cox said gruffly, pulling JD back into another kiss. "I don't give a shit if they know or not anymore, as long as you stop torturing me by brushing your hand up against my dick and get back to work, Newbie!"
JD giggled and pressed into him, deepening the kiss. "Yes sir," he yelped, starting up his ministrations once more.