A/N: Hey everyone! Thanks for your patience with regards to this story. It took a while to think of and of course an infinity to write because of a hectic schedule. But alas - Season 1 is finished! Here's the last chapter of it. Enjoy, and pray that I have enough energy, inspiration and time to start writing Season 2! There are so many more ideas in my head. ) Enjoy, and thanks for reading! xx IFHD


Chapter 23: Miles Apart


"I Lie Awake"

By: Quietdrive

Can you hear me screaming
Coming to find you
It's not that I want to
Make it another night alone
This feeling is lonely
Sending me slowly
Hits me so deep
It cuts my bone
Fills my heart
Burns me up
For way too long
For way too long
Here's my hand
Pull me up

I lie awake because I'm scared
I'm not as fake as you once heard
But we'll lay down now making sure we
Put these words between us

Can you hear us falling
We're falling faster
It's hard to remember
Where we were at a year before
I thought we were ready
I thought we were steady
'Till the emotion
Hit the floor
Fills my heart
Burns me up
For way too long
For way too long (where did you go)
Here's my hand
To pull me up

Don't put these words between us

I lie awake because I'm scared
I'm not as fake as you once heard
But we'll lay down now making sure we
Put these words between us
I lie awake because I'm scared
I'm not as fake as you once heard
And we'll lay these words
And we'll put them down
On the floor beneath us
Don't put these words between us
Don't put these words between us


It had been days since Connor had last seen and spoken with Lourdes – since St. Patrick's Day, in fact. Instead of making an effort to see her and contact her, he allowed his mixed emotions to get the best of him, consciously and purposely avoiding her. He didn't know if he was truly angry at her, but he just felt as though he needed to take some time to figure things out, to get his head straight once more. When he was calm and ready to face her, to confront her with everything that has transpired between them and the exchange that he had seen her make with Sean, then he would. Though, he would only do it at his own pace. In all honesty, Connor was in no way ready to speak about his 'feelings' - not with her, and not with anyone, for that matter. Thus, in lieu of working with her and the other Irish agents, Connor busied himself by working with his father, who had been concentrating on trapping O'Sullivan himself. Working together, the two men made considerable headway with the IRA case, feeling as though O'Sullivan's ass would be theirs in no time.

As Connor entered his apartment after another visit to his father's home, he found Murphy in an utter state of dishumour, banging cupboard doors and muttering to himself as he stalked around their apartment. Seeing that Murphy had completely ignored his entrance, Connor wrinkled his brows in confusion. "The fuck is wrong with ye, Murph?" He half-questioned, half-scolded as he stiffly grabbed his brother by the elbow before he could do anymore damage to their already decrepit apartment. "What ye doin' sulkin' 'round the house for?"

"Don't act like ye don't know, Con." Murphy immediately shrugged himself from his brother's grasp, shoving a cold pizza slice in his mouth in the meantime before he exited from the kitchen.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Following his brother into the living room, Connor stood in front of him as Murphy rooted himself on the couch.

Murphy shot his twin an impatient look. "The agents are gone, that's what I fuckin' mean."

Connor's eyes considerably squinted at this. "The fuck d'ya mean they're gone?"

With all patience drained from his being, Murphy shot out of the chair, now face to face with his brother, visibly upset. He snarled as he held out his arms to his sides, "I fuckin' mean that they're gone! Not in the Embassy, not in the city. They've gone back to fuckin' Dublin, Con. Now do ye get what I fuckin' mean?"

"Calm the fuck down, alright?" Connor gave him a shove as he proceeded to sit on the couch, running his hands on his face. "I didn't fuckin' know."

"Well, then, now ye do." Murphy's voice grew calmer as he joined his brother on the couch, chest visibly heaving up and down. He stared blankly at the window before him. "Nobody but Smecker's supposed to know. I only know 'cuz Isolde called me. Said she wasn't even supposed to call anyone."

"Why the fuck did they leave? The case isn't even done yet."

"Their boss came. Had a chat with Lourdes and Smecker. He knows everythin' that happened, so as a precaution, or some shit like that, he took them all home. Don't know if they're regroupin' or if they're gonna send new agents to do the investigatin'. In her boss' eyes, Lourdes fucked up big time."

Connor fidgeted in his seat in impatience. "What about the IRA case? O'Sullivan?"

"I said I don't know!" Murphy gave out a grunt of annoyance. "I'm not a fuckin' psychic, Con." Turning to his brother with a raised, questioning brow, he mumbled, "Why the fuck didn't ye know? Didn't Lourdes or Sean tell ye?"

"No." Connor lightly tensed, feeling a pang of guilt. "Haven't spoken with either of them for a few days."

"Fuck." Murphy sniffed, resting his arms on his knees. "We'll go pay a visit to Smecker and ask him what the fuck is goin' on."


"Keiran O'Sullivan is the leader of extreme Unionists. We believe that he is the one responsible for the IRA member killings a few months ago. Now, we have reason to believe that he is planning another attack. He is on the loose in Boston, but my team and I are doing our utmost best in order to apprehend him…"

Smecker turned off the television with a tap of his thumb on the remote control, having enough of watching the interview that he had given just a few hours prior. Flicking his lighter open, he lit himself a cigarette, feeling a bit relieved that he had brought O'Sullivan and the case out in the open. Go ahead and feed the dogs, he thought. He knew that he had allies amongst the people of Boston, and it only served to warn the public about O'Sullivan's gang, simultaneously protecting them and helping him with the investigation. Expose the bastard, drive him out with pitchforks. He only wished that that day would come soon. Now that the An Garda Síochána agents have fucked off back to Dublin, he was the lone Special Agent once more.

The MacManus brothers barely knocked before they strode into the room, unannounced. Smecker stood at their presence, somewhat startled by their sudden appearance. With a glance, he instantly knew why the twins had barged into his office in such a manner. He motioned to the chairs in front of him in response. "Sit down, boys."

Barely sitting down, Connor blurted, "What the fuck's happenin', Smecker? Do the agents know about us? Why'd they leave?"

Smecker held up a hand, feeling the tension emanating from the twins. "Lourdes' superior, Agent Liam Keele, flew in all the way from Dublin to speak with us just a few days ago. Agent Villamor and I tried to explain to him what had happened, leaving out details, of course, and he allowed her to keep her job. To him, this investigation turned out to be a disaster, a right mess of the undercover, classified investigation that he had instructed for them to fulfill. With a dead agent that he has to explain for and his other agents now a target for the Unionists, he thought it was best to take them all home." He placed his clenched fists upon his lips. "I don't know exactly what he plans to do with them there, but he did inform me that he'll be sending new, unmarked agents to continue the investigation. This time, he doesn't think that working with the Boston Police on this one will be a good idea."

"Well fuck him, we don't need his new agents to help us with this shit," Murphy let out a breath, tension somewhat lessening within him. "We're on our own again. Just like we used to be."

"So he didn't mention anythin' 'bout the Saints?" Connor persisted, still feeling a bit uneasy about the situation. "The agents are all alright, then?"Is Lourdes alright?, he inwardly corrected himself, finding that his pride wouldn't let him ask the question outright.

"They will be staying at an undisclosed place for the moment." Smecker explained, running his fingers through his hair. "Gonna lay low for now until the case dies down and, hopefully, ends. They were instructed to keep minimal contact even with their loved ones, so I don't know if you two will be able to contact them - even your cousin - about anything right now."

Murphy snorted at this, wholly disregarding it. "Since when the fuck did we follow the rules?"

Without a word, Connor placed a folder upon Smecker's desk. "Da and I have been doin' some research. We think that we've finally got where the bastard's stayin'." As Smecker sifted through the papers and photographs, Connor continued, "It was right under our noses. The fuck and his gang have been hidin' out at the Boston Harbor the entire time. It isn't even far from where that warehouse is."

"So you want to make a hit?"

"'Course we fuckin' wanna make a hit." Murphy quickly answered, annoyance visible on his expression. "We're gonna close this fuckin' case ourselves."


The humming of the engine was her lullaby as the airplane soared through the midnight sky. Though, Lourdes was wide awake, unable to sleep not only because of what was plaguing her mind, but because of the abominable snoring, courtesy of none other than her boss, Keele, sounding from right behind her. Braden had the misfortune of being placed beside Keele, whose mouth was now a gaping hole in his face, directed right towards him. Braden uncomfortably twisted on his chair, opening his eyes drowsily as he envied Isolde's seat, which was right across from his.

To Lourdes' surprise, Sean was fast asleep beside her, wholly unaware of what was transpiring around him. His countenance was so soft and innocent, a small smile even forming upon his lips. When he had declared that he could sleep through any storm, earthquake and flood, he truly did mean it! Smiling to herself at his vision, Lourdes continued to observe him, reflecting on the kisses that they had shared as though she were a teenager once more. It simultaneously confused and enlightened her, for now it was obvious that Sean saw her in a different light, that his feelings for her were not that innocent any longer. How long had he been hiding this, she wondered, and how real were these feelings of his? Could the first kiss have really been caused by adrenaline, and the other, a drunken fumble? Or was it something more than that? It worried her. It made her feelings convoluted, it complicated the situation. This 'situation', she couldn't really define, but she knew that Connor was in the equation.


His form flashed through her mind: his smile, his lips, his eyes. She had finally admitted to herself that she had grown attached to him, that she was beginning to feel something for him. But she knew, whatever happened, whatever that they had shared, that it was all a lost cause. He was in Boston, she was in Dublin. They would be separated, as they are now. Even if this sudden return to Dublin slapped her in the face, she knew in the back of her mind that she was going to return home eventually. Connor couldn't have been serious about his affections for her. Ever since St. Patrick's Day, he hadn't called her. He had ignored her calls. He was with another woman the last time she saw him, for Christ's sake! What other reason did she need to forget about him? Circumstances only brought them together for a while, but now, that moment is over. So, she thought, isn't it time to move on, to forget about the past?

"Ye know, if ye stare at me any longer, I think I might actually blush."

The Irishman had opened an eye, seeing if Lourdes was comfortable, when he noticed her blank gaze in his direction.

Lourdes repeatedly blinked, finally registering in her mind that she had been staring at Sean the entire time. Almost blushing herself, she lightly cleared her throat. "I was…uh…merely looking at the window."

"Ye were staring at complete darkness instead of a handsome Irishman?"


"I find that hard to believe." Sean jested good-naturedly, lithely turning his body to face hers. "Ye've got somethin' on yer mind again, leannán. Ye alright?"

Lourdes bit her bottom lip, lowering her eyes for a moment. "It's just that…this whole going back to Dublin thing, it was really unexpected, rushed…sudden. I wasn't prepared for it. I never thought that Keele over there would actually come all the way to Boston – not just to investigate on what was going on himself, but to personally take us back. It just makes me feel so…incapable of running such a big international operation, you know? Like I'm not cut out for it."

"Hey," Sean began soothingly, rubbing the length of her arm, "Ye shouldn't think like that, leannán. Yer one of the best agents that I've had the pleasure of knowing, and also, one of the most understanding bosses that I've had the privilege to work for. Ye dealt with the circumstances well, and nothing that happened was yer fault." He let out a deep sigh, nodding, "We left Boston quickly, aye, I agree. I didn't even have time to say goodbye to the MacManuses. But hey, we'll see 'em again. I'm sure of it."

God, how she loved Sean's optimism. It was then that she realized that she did hold on to the hope that she would see the MacManuses again – Connor, in particular. To add to her confusion, no matter what had transpired between them, she truly did want to see him again.

One day, she will.

Giving Sean a smile of gratitude, she made herself more comfortable on her seat. As she leaned her head upon Sean's shoulder, he wrapped a protective arm around her, resting his head gently upon hers. Ever so slowly, they entwined their hands, feeling each other's warmth and comfort. Lourdes momentarily eyed her hands within Sean's, though not releasing her hold. With another deep sigh, she finally closed her eyes, drifting off to sleep.


A/N: End of Season 1. Hope that wasn't too disappointing. ) I guess the easiest way for you to know when/if I update is to save me to your Author Alert list. In the meantime, if you haven't so already, check out the other story that I am currently working on entitled "Even In Heaven". Thanks again for reading, and happy holidays! xx IFHD