Deal or No Deal - FF8 Style

Noel Edmonds: Twenty-two identical sealed boxes. No questions. Except one: deal or no deal?

-Theme music starts to play and the cheesy animation that shows all of the boxes being filled with the money cards appears on the television screen-

Noel: -Turns to the camera and gives his trademark smile- Hello there! Today we are joined by the beautiful cast of Final Fantasy VIII and two random people from Final Fantasy X. This is a one of special folks and only one contestant will get the chance to play for the outstanding prizes! So, east wing, west wing say hello to the cameras!!

East and west wing: ...Hello.

Noel: -Laughs- How excited are they?! Woo this is going to be one heck of a show, I can tell!! The computer is now going to pick out one name from our contestants and then that contestant will have the chance to win up to 250, 000 Gil!!

-Game board appears on the screen showing each of the contestants names. [Tidus, Selphie, Cid, Biggs, Kimarhi, Zell. ZELL! Zells name begins to flash on the large game board-

Noel: Zell, Zell Dincht! Up you come!

Zell: -Punches the air- Get in there!! Hah! Not the lead now Squall are we!??

Squall: ..Your only going to win about 10 Gil anyways..

Zell: Nah man, change that 10 to a 25 and add four noughts, that's what I'll be winning. Oh yeah!!

Squall: Whatever. I make that in a day...

Zell: Humph.

Noel: Uhh.. Right. So, Zell what have you brought along for luck and everything?

Zell: Oh, these? Just two of my lucky photographs. -Grins-

-Camera zooms into the first of ells two photographs. The first photograph is a picture of everybody (Squall, Rinoa etc) in Balamb Garden on their arrival from the defeat of Sorceress Ultimecia. The second shows Zell staring at the Library Girl from behind a book labelled, 'How To Interact With The Opposite Sex' in block capitals-

Noel: Umm Zell.. There's also a half eaten hot dog resting on your box is.. Is that uhh also for luck?

Zell: Well you see Noel, it WAS a full hotdog but this show took ages to begin and I needed a munch so basically, it's all you and your milky heads fault!

Noel: ... Sorry Zell.

Zell: -Sniffs- It's alright.

Noel: Okay Zell, we now need you to clarify that your box, box number four, was sealed by the independent adjudicator who seals all the boxes and is the only person who knows were the money is.

Zell: That's true Noel.

Noel: -Nods at Zell- In that case, lets get ready to play 'Deal or No Deal!'

-Catchy music starts to play.-

Noel: Right Zell! Let's go, choose a box.

Zell: Hmm. -Looks around the contestants- Cid please, box number 3.

Cid: This is a blue Zell, I know it!! -Opens box to reveal 5,000 Gil-

Zell: Some blue Cid.. But, that's okay! Alright... Adel! I choose you!

Adel: I hope you crash and burn you Ash Ketchum-wannabe! MUHAHAHAHA!!

Everybody: ... -Staring at Adel-

Rinoa: -Coughs-

Everybody: -Stares at Rinoa-

Rinoa: Oh.. Sorry.

Everybody: -Stare at Adel again-

A random dust ball rolls across the ground like in the western movies.

Edea: Open the damn box you stupid Sorceress!

Rinoa, Ultemecia and Adel: -Stare at Edea-

Adel: -Box opens to reveal 10 Gil- ...Shit.

Zell: Yeo!

Noel: Okay Zell, just another three boxes to go.

Zell: Seventeen is my lucky number so, number seventeen. Angelo, please!

Angelo: Woof!!

Rinoa: Open the box Angelo, come on girl. Go on!

Angelo: -Wags tail- Woof, woof! -Opens box to reveal... 1000 Gil-

Rinoa: Who's a good dog.. You are! -Pets Angelo-

Zell: So far so good. Alright, go on Selph!

Selphie: Good luck Zelly! -Opens box to reveal... 100, 000 Gil.- Oops, sorry..

Zell: Damnit!


Zell: Shuddup!

Seifer: ...Sorry.

Zell: You better be.. -Eyes Seifer suspiciously- Alright.. Box num-

Seifer: AHAHAHA! Your gonna get zilch! ZILCH! HAHAHA!

Noel: Now Seifer, you wouldn't like it if it wa-

Seifer: ZILCH!!! HAH!

Noel: Security guards!

Seifer: HAHAHA! Noel! Your hair is rough! HAHAH

Noel: I said security!

Quistis: Hold on Noel. Seifer?

Seifer: Quistis?

Quistis: -Pulls out her bad ass whip- See this?

Seifer: -Gulps- Ye-Yeah?

Quistis: You are going to feel pain from this whip if you don't keep quiet. Okay?

Seifer: -Gulps again- O-okay..

Noel: Thank you Quistis. Now Zell, proceed.

Zell: Biggs.

Biggs: ...Stupid SeeD.. -Opens box to reveal.. 15, 000 Gil-

Seifer: HAHA- Ow! Quistis!!

Quistis: Told you so.

Noel: This is one fascinating game! I'm sure all you lot out there are on the edges of your seats!


Cloud: Tifa what is this shite?

Tifa: Shh! I wana see how much Zell wins!

Cloud: ... Who the hell is Zell?

Tifa: You don't know Zell? Zell!?! He's Zell Dincht, the most hottest Final Fantasy guy around!

Cloud: ...

Tifa: He is!

Cloud: I bet he doesn't have a cool sword like me!

Tifa: Maybe not, but he has a tattoo.

Cloud: ... Damn. I bet his hair doesn't even have spikes!

Tifa: ...It does.

Cloud: Damn! I-I bet he umm doesn't have wait! I bet he wasn't in SOLDIER like me! Hah!

Tifa: No.. But he is in SeeD which completely owns SOLDIER.

Cloud: Shut up.. I'm away to play with my dolls. -Walks away-



Noel: Hello? Ha, ha yes. No! Really? Bowling, you say? Sure! Friday at eight? Good, good. Okay see ya, snucims! -Puts down the phone-

Everybody: ...

Noel: What? Why's everybody so quiet?

Zell: ...The offer?

Noel: Oh that.. It's 1, 339 Gil.

Zell: Well, nobody deals on the first round so Noel, I'm ready for the question.

Noel: Zell, 1, 339 Gil: deal or no deal?

-Some random heartbeat noise thing can be heard in the background. Camera zooms in on Zells head-

Zell: No deal!

-Audience applauds-


Hey! Well that's all for this first part from now on every time Zell eliminates another three boxes a new chapter will begin. It's gonna get pretty crazy from here on so yeah, please R & R.. It annoys the heck out of me when I see I've got around 200 hits and my stories have been favved but yet they have zero reviews.. So yep! Just wanted to say that..

Zilch means nothing by the way. See ya! Thanks for reading!