Disclaimer: I own many things but the Twilight series is not one of them. All rights are deserved to Stephenie Meyer. I also don't own the quote "Send thee to a nunnery." That is from Hamlet.


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Boxers or Briefs?


I inwardly groaned as I drove to school that morning. The sun was shining which meant a day at school without my vampire boyfriend and best friend. I found it ironic how I use to love the bright sunshine and blistering heat; now it was just a nuisance.

I pulled into a free parking spot and walked over towards the group of people I had come to know over my year in Forks. I waved at Angela and Ben and smiled while I nodded towards Jessica. Overtime the melodramatic girl quit giving me the cold shoulder and grew up-well-it was either that or the fact that she hated Lauren. The corn-silk haired girl was caught making out with Jessica's now ex-boyfriend.

I didn't really care if people liked me or not; I was me and I was happy. I had a good life and barely had a thing to worry about-if you excluded a ravenous vampire hunting me, the royal vampire family keeping a watchful eye on my transformation, and adolescent wolves. Yeah, life was just peachy.

Jessica giggled and waved for me to come over towards her and another girl named Ashley; Jessica's new minion. Just then, Mike Newton came running towards our crowd, but was stopped as he tripped over one of the many cracks in the school's foundation. I blinked and was surprised I had missed that crack. Amazing.

"One more boy down," I heard Jess whisper to Ashley as they stared at Mike's sprawled figure. I would've gone over there to help him, but since Edward wasn't here he would probably flock over me all day. I didn't need that. I saw Ashley peak over Jess' shoulder and giggle wildly as they wrote something down in a notebook.

I raised an eyebrow and nudged the curly-haired girl. "Are you still obsessing over Mike?" The girl didn't know when to quit.

Jessica let out a tenacious laugh while throwing her head back. Boy did she look maniacal. "As if!"

"And you are staring at his butt, why?" This should be interesting.

"I'm not staring at his butt!" Jessica shrieked. Ugh. Her voice in the morning was like recovering from a hangover-or so I've heard. "We're just putting him on our list."

List? I rolled my eyes. Knowing Jessica, it was probably a list of 'hots' and 'nots' for her column in the school newspaper. I know, shocking right? The school had a newspaper. Go figure. "Humor me." Edward was rubbing off on me.

"Well, we—meaning Ash and I—started a list of which boys wear boxers and which wear briefs and from the looks of it, Mike wears boxers."

I glanced again and saw the tops of Mike's boxer's peak from above his khaki slacks as he stood up and brushed himself off. I laughed at Jessica and Ashley's list. Apparently life in Forks proved to be quite dull for the female population.

"—Bella…are you even listening?"

Oops. I guess Jess wasn't finished speaking to me. "Hm?" I asked nonchalantly.

Jessica frowned and huffed. "I was asking you something."

"Sorry. Go on."

"I wanted to know if your Edward wore boxers or briefs. He still goes to the school and I'm sure every girl is just dieing to know what that stud wears."

My eyes widened slightly as I stared at Jessica. "I…" my lips pursed together and I thought for a moment. What did Edward wear? "I don't know." I answered truthfully.

The look on Jessica's face told me that she didn't believe me. "Sure, sure."

"No, really!" I said earnestly. "I don't know what he wears. It's not as if I do his laundry." I was sure of it he got his laundry dry-cleaned. How was I supposed to know what underwear he wore?

"Yeah but you must know since you've been dating for a while…you've had to have gone beyond second base…"

I felt a hot blush make its way on my cheeks. What kind of a girl did Jessica think I was? Before I could retort, the school bell rang and I dragged myself to English. The question was a constant bother to me throughout class. I honestly didn't know if Edward was a boxers or briefs sort of man-the boundaries we had were a bit limited. Even then, Edward wasn't sloppy when it came to his clothes; he didn't wear clothing that sagged. Hell, why was I still on the subject?

"Miss Swan?"

My head snapped up at my teacher as he stared at me. I grinned sheepishly at him. "Pardon?"

"Your Heart of Darkness paper, Miss Swan. I was just telling the class how you received the highest grade and gave a small lecture that if they paid attention and focused on class like you did, they would receive the same grade. It seems as if you contradicted me with that vacant expression on your face," he sighed, his voice dripping with disdain.

I let out a nervous laugh, hoping the blush on my cheeks wasn't evident. The rest of the class snickered at the teacher's peeved expression. It was going to be a long day.

By the time physics rolled around, I couldn't stand another minute of school. I mentally cursed Jessica for my wandering mind. So far today, I had been caught day dreaming in every class I attended. I wondered if I could manage to feign illness, but I immediately dismissed the though; I was a horrible actress.

I felt Angela poke me in the ribs. The teacher stared at me with his usual un-amused expression and waved a piece of paper in the air. Holy crow! Did I drift off again?

"Miss Swan, you have a 'leave the grounds' slip," he said nasally.

My eyebrows furrowed with confusion as I slowly packed away my possessions and took the slip from my teacher. I walked out towards the parking lot and hoped nothing was wrong with Charlie. I was about to call the station when I felt the cell phone in my pocket vibrate. I hated this thing.

Edward insisted on the stupid phone ever since a certain incident in which Alice lost me in the mall leading her to page me over the intercom. I pushed off the mortifying memory and saw I had received a text message from none other than Alice.

'I had a vision of you trying to get out of school so I had Esme call you out. Come over, I'm bored.'

I smiled and was about to put away the retched contraption when I received yet another message.

'And you are right. You are a horrible actress.'

I pouted at Alice's message though sighed in relief when I realized the call slip wasn't anything serious. I reached my truck and drove off towards the Cullen home, carefully making sure I didn't miss the turn. I wasn't very perceptive when it came to directions. I made the turn and arrived at the Cullen home within fifteen minutes; my truck wasn't holding up as well as it use to.

A smile reached my lips as I saw everyone had been home including Carlisle. Before I could even knock on the door, Alice threw it open and pulled me inside, giving me a huge hug and kiss in the process. I laughed and threw my arms around the affectionate vampire and waved to the rest of the vampire.

"Thank you for calling me out, Esme." I adored her; she was just like a mother to me. She didn't even mind when I accidentally knocked into one of her prized statues and broke it. Now that was love.

She smiled softly and gave me a hug also. "It was no problem, Bella dear."

"Hey twerp!"

I turned around and was trapped in a breathtaking hug from Emmett, my loveable big brother I had got to know and love. I smiled at the one of the many teasing nicknames he had dubbed me. "Hey, Emmett! Aren't you and Rosalie supposed to be in Alaska with Tanya?"

"We came back last night," Rosalie said, an awkward smile forming on her face. Our relationship was different than the others since it was simply new. "Your guys' graduation is coming up in only a few weeks and our college year was up."

"That, and I missed my children far too much," Esme admitted bashfully.

"And we missed you too mom," Emmett grinned while kissing the top of Esme's head and throwing an arm around her.

"Suck up," came another voice. A musical and velvety voice. Edward sauntered into the room and rushed to my side, placing a small kiss on my temple. "How has your day been?"

"Productive," I said immediately.

He stared at me with disbelief. I hated how he knew I was lying even if he couldn't read my mind. "Am I supposed to believe that?"

"If you know what's good for you," I winked. Jessica's question echoed in my mind once more and I let out a small growl. I hated her. My eyes took a glance towards Edward's pants for a quick second and I thought right before. Edward wasn't sloppy when it came to dressing himself.

"It has something to do with Mike Newton and his clothing," Alice offered to her brother. I glared at her. Traitor.

Jasper raised an eyebrow and was silent until now. "Maybe he wore something appealing and thought he looked hot." I liked Jasper better when he was silent.

I paled-if it was even possible-and threw a disgusted look at the blond. "Don't use the word hot and Mike Newton in the same situation unless it has something to do him getting thrown into the hot, fiery pits of hell." I would never forgive him for what he did.

"The girl has some fight in her, who knew?" Emmett chuckled while ruffling my hair. "Did I miss something?"

Edward flashed a wry smirk and stared down at me. "He spread a rumor around school that Bella was pregnant with my child."

I felt the embarrassment run from my toes all the way to my cheeks and I blushed for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. "He wasn't so happy when you guys came back and saw that I was with Edward again."

"So what does him and his awful apparel have to do with Bella?" Rosalie asked while staring at Alice.

I threw a hopeful glance her way. I saw her shrug at Rosalie and I sighed, alleviated at her ignorance. "Nothing. Nothing at all."

"I think you're lying," Edward stated, trying to get me to look into his eyes. I refused and knew if I fell into that beautiful trap, I would become putty in his wonderfully, smooth hands. No. Focus Bella!

"You can think what you want," I squeaked. Oh yeah Bella, real fierce. I then turned to the one thing that I knew would annoy Edward. "I was thinking about what'll happen after graduation."

Everyone but Edward smirked with amusement. "This should be interesting," Jasper whispered to Emmett.

A deep frown appeared on Edward's face. "Bella…" I heard the warning in his tone. Good. My plan was working. "I already gave you my condition."

"But marriage, Edward?"

"You can become a monster but you can't marry me?"

"Ah, but you see, Edward, she already is a monster." Well gee, thanks a lot Emmett.

Edward growled lowly and stared at me. "Bella, we've already talked about—wait, hang on a minute…how in the hell is Mike Newton and his clothing involved with what we are talking about now?"

Damnit. "Er…"

"The secret is out, Bella." Jasper sighed and shook his head while turning his head towards Edward. "She is secretly lusting after Mike Newton and is using you to transform her so she can transform him."

"Send thee to a nunnery!" Emmett shouted while pointing at me. I was starting to hate Emmett's obsession with Shakespeare.

Alice and Rosalie laughed at my expense. I suddenly regret being called out of school. "You two are absurd." I turned towards Edward who went rigid for just a moment and relaxed. Insecure vampires were adorable.

"Poor, Edward." Emmett exhaled dramatically. "Come here a let your big brothers mend that broken heart of yours." I watched as Jasper and Emmett lunged towards Edward; I couldn't help but laugh.

Esme shook her head but smiled fondly at her children and walked out of the room with Carlisle. The boys began to wrestle and continued with the witty repartee while Alice and Rosalie decided to take me upstairs with them. The three of us arrived in Rosalie and Emmett's grandeur, white room and just lounged around.

"I'm glad you came over, Bella," Alice chimed happily, "It's always amusing when you're around."

"I'm glad I could be of any entertainment," I mumbled while tracing my hands over the books on the bookcase.

"Oh, Alice, look at this dress!" I heard Rosalie exclaim while pointing at the computer screen. Online shopping? Did these girls ever stop?

The two began to sift through dozens of websites and indulged on their gluttonous activities. Some things never change, whether you are a vampire or a human; shopping was still shopping. I excused myself and slipped out of the room, wondering if the boys were still up to their rambunctious antics.

"Oh you're going to get it, brat!"

"I can't believe you bit him!"

From the sounds of it, my question had already been answered. I giggled and was about to head downstairs when I passed Edward's room. I stopped. Should I? My interest took the best of me as I quietly opened the door and closed it behind me. His room didn't change at all. I stared at the walls full of music and his electronic system. It was a haven. My eyes roamed around the room and stopped when I reached his dresser.

I bit my lip and inwardly groaned at my snooping. "Curiosity killed the cat…" Oh hell. I stomped off towards the dresser and carefully opened it only to find it empty. I frowned and pulled open a drawer and found absolutely nothing. What? Did the boy go commando or something? I blushed profusely and put the thought out of my mind.

"Um, Bella…what are you doing?"

My eyes widened in shock as I turned around and stared at Edward. Oops. Busted. "U-uh-um…I was looking for, er, um…the remote to your stereo!"

He raised an eyebrow and walked over to the table. Edward picked up the remote and I mentally cursed myself. "It's where it normally is."

"Oh…um…right!" Very smooth Bella.

Edward shook his head and turned around to walk out of his room. I sighed in relief as I saw him leave, but he poked his head in once more. "Oh, and, Bella?"

"Yes, Edward?"

A sultry smile rested on his lips as he spoke. "You can tell Jessica Stanley that I wear both."


"Let's just say that you coming over wasn't the only vision Alice had."


Authoress Note: Here is another piece of drabble I just came up with. Oh the way my foolish mind works. Enjoy and I'm also taking requests for stories. Much love