Introduction: Season 8: Episode 8.04 starts at least a month after 8.03.
This is a part of a full series, so please read the previous episodes prior to reading 8.04.
Note: These are episodic – and each episode will be in segments much like the TV show.

8.04 "I hate you! I loathe you! I despise you!"


Luke kisses her in appreciation.

LORELAI: (As she pulls away slightly, she randomly blurts out) Why don't you spend the night at my house?

LUKE: (Caught off guard) What?


LUKE: (Places a hand on his forehead) I can't do it… I hate that he lived here with you. And… I hate those steps… and it's ridiculous! (Stammers a bit and his voice cracks in the middle of the sentence) I... I... hate that you were standing right there when you told me about that night. I hate that that was the first day, in the entire time I've known you… that I hated you for (gestures) a brief moment. (Concedes) And you know that I feel more for you now than I've felt before… I hope you know that (Lorelai nods as she holds back her emotions. Pause.) I just need to get over this little … thing… you know?

LORELAI: (Softly, as she stands on the last step) I know. (Sighs) Luke… (continues almost desperately) what do you want me to do? Tell me, and I will do anything to make this right.


LORELAI: …I have two suggestions for you… sell my house… and maybe find a bigger place… together.

LUKE: (Smiles gradually to show his interest)… what's number two?

LORELAI: The other idea I had… (cautiously continues)… that house… is just as much yours as it is mine. You know? You've put so much into it… you've fixed it as if it was your own… If there's a chance… that you will again see yourself in that house… I'd like to keep it…. I know it's still too small for all of us. You, me, Rory, (smiles) and April… so I talked to Tom… and asked him what he thought. (Swallows) He said there was still a lot of space on the second floor — above the kitchen, where we could expand and add a room and a bathroom… or even two rooms. (since there's no response from Luke, she continues) I asked him if it could be done by the time April gets here… and he of course laughed at me. (Remembers) Also, if this is something you'd agree with, we're going to take a week to make a list of everything in the house that you don't like. I swear to God, Luke. I will get rid of anything and everything you hate. I want us to work.

LUKE: (Takes a moment) I guess the choice is clear… We remodel… again.

LORELAI: (Caught by surprise) What? (Pause) Are you sure?

Scene fades on Luke and Lorelai smiling at each other.


RORY (on the phone): … I called to let you know that I will be there August 3rd…

LORELAI: That's great, kid! April will be in town that same week.


TAYLOR: (As he slams down the gavel) Okay, that's settled! The Summer Carnival will be postponed until the first week of August.

SOOKIE: (Sitting next to Lorelai, whispers to her) So going from door to door offering a free dessert at the Inn in exchange for voting for a late Summer carnival paid off.

LORELAI: (Whispers back) This way, Rory and April can be here for it.


LORELAI (to Luke): I think we need to put off Alaska… for now.

LUKE: Why? What's up?

Lorelai holds up a familiar book.

LUKE: (Reads the title and looks at Lorelai) A road trip?

LORELAI: Yeah. To New Mexico.

LUKE: (Raises a brow) New Mexico.




The rental is packed and ready. We fade in as Luke shuts the rear door and gets in the driver's seat. Lorelai, in the passenger seat, is meddling with the GPS device that she had previously installed (took her 6 hours to just turn it on). She attempts to level the holder of the device.

LUKE: (As he buckles up, notices Lorelai being particular about the holder) What are you doing?

LORELAI: It's not straight.

LUKE: You realize that when we start driving, it won't matter… right?

LORELAI: (Critiquing the holder) Yes, but…

LUKE: (Cuts in) You also realize we could've rented a jeep that had one of those installed… right?

LORELAI: (Looks at Luke) But they didn't have one in blue! I specifically wanted a blue car. Besides, I've already added all the stops into Jane's memory… and she comes highly recommended. But just in case, (holds up a couple of booklets) I have two backup road maps.

LUKE: Jane?

LORELAI: (Points at the GPS device) That's her name.

LUKE: You named it?

LORELAI: (Corrects) "Her!" (Holds up the manual) That's what the instructions say. Her name is Jane, and if we so choose to re-name her… we could. But I could only come up with Lorelai. And I wouldn't want you to get confused with two Lorelais in the car.

LUKE: No, we wouldn't want that. (Sighs as he smiles) Alright. (Pause, then looks at Lorelai as he places his hands on the wheel) Are you ready?

LORELAI: (Grins and clasps her hands in delight) This is going to be so much fun! (She turns on Jane).

JANE: "Begin destination."

LORELAI: (Grinning) She's so cool.

JANE: "Turn right here." (This makes Luke and Lorelai look to their right - and see the crap shack, then in unison they look at the device in confusion).

LORELAI: (As Luke begins to pull out of the front yard) Okay, maybe I pressed the wrong button.


JANE: "Exit on 151A towards Bloomsburg. Exit here."

LORELAI: (Looks through the map) That doesn't sound right. I think we need to exit on 151B.

LUKE: So, is it 151A or 151B?

LORELAI: Exit on 151…

LUKE: A or B?

JANE: "Exit here."

LUKE: A or B? A or B?!

LORELAI: I don't know! (They pass A) Bye bye 151A.

JANE: "Exit here."

LUKE: I'm really starting to hate Jane.

LORELAI: (Covers Jane) Shh, she'll hear you.

LUKE: (Looks at Lorelai) Right.

LORELAI: Lets take 151B… next stop Ohio! (Flips through a guide) I'm dying to see this Inn they have in Akron.


LORELAI: (As she looks through the map) I think we should keep driving on this highway for a while.

JANE: "Exit here."

LUKE: Shut up, Jane!

LORELAI: (Turns off the device) Okay, you're just being cruel to Jane. (Looks at the exit they just passed) … you missed the exit!

LUKE: You told me to keep driving!

LORELAI: No, I told you we needed to exit on number 207!

LUKE: Yes, you told me AFTER I passed it!


Jane and her holder seem to be missing from the windshield.

LUKE: (Visibly calmer, or at least for the moment) Okay, so we've driven close to 410 miles. Now what?

LORELAI: (Looks at the map closer) Uh oh… I've lost our spot. Umm… (Luke rolls his eyes)… Hold on.

LUKE: Quick, before we miss yet another exit.

LORELAI: (Mumbles) Well, maybe you should've thought of that before you threw Jane out the window.

LUKE: (Frustrated) That's it! (He maneuvers the jeep towards the curb) I'm not driving anymore!




Camera follows Luke and Lorelai walking towards the entrance of a house. They are still bickering.

LORELAI: We would've gotten here yesterday if you hadn't thrown her out!

LUKE: No, we would've gotten here yesterday if you hadn't lost the two maps… after I threw Jane out!

LORELAI: (Randomly) And what is up with leaving the toiler seat up?

LUKE: Why is that suddenly an issue?

LORELAI: (Mumbles) Well, it becomes an issue when I wake up at 3 in the morning and rush in only to find myself falling into the toilet.

As the camera pans around them, we see their vicious eyes.

LUKE: (Before he can respond, Lorelai rings the door bell) We will continue this later.

LORELAI: Oh I'm sure we will.

The door opens. We see April. Luke and Lorelai suddenly mask their previous expressions.

APRIL: (Gasps in surprise) Dad!!! Lorelai! Oh my god! (she reaches up and gives Luke a hug) What are you doing here?!

LUKE: We thought we'd surprise you. Spend a couple of days here.

APRIL: Oh my god! (Shouts out) Mom! Guess whose here!?

LORELAI: (Offers) Your mom knew all about it! Thought you'd like some company flying to Hartford.

APRIL: Ohhh, that's why she asked me not to go anywhere today.

Still surprised and extremely happy to see her father… and Lorelai, she reaches again and hugs them both.

APRIL: (Keeps the door open wide and walks further into the house) Come in!

April's excitement makes Luke and Lorelai forget their previously silly arguments on the road. They look at each other and smile before they enter the Nardini abode.

Scene fades.

Will update with segment two as soon as possible.

Speculations on this episode? Anyone?