I'm finally getting around to rewriting, at least, the early chapters of this. I started it years ago. Years ago I couldn't write myself out of a paper bag. Hopefully, you get the picture.

Anyway, I don't think my writing voice changed a whole lot, considering my humor is as awful as always. It's just more, uh, refined or something. I don't know. I probably swear twice as much now, so I might be going in the wrong direction in some ways. Oh well, fuck you. There I go again.

Also, This stupid site keeps randomly applying underline to my sentences. It's getting REALLY FUCKING ANNOYING TO FIX, GODDAMN.

DISCLAIMER: I don't actually care about disclaimers. It's just fun to write DISCLAIMER like I'm important or something.

Chapter 0 – Usually Known As The Prologue, Sometimes Known As That Pre-Chapter Thing, On The Rare Occasion Known As Fuck You, I'm Batman, Wait No That Never Happens

Our humble story pre-begins in the town of Pallet. Or Masara. Or マサラ. Or fuck you, Japanese characters probably don't even work on this dumb site. Otherwise widely known as That Town Nobody Cares About Because It's Useless, well known for it's ability to produce trainers that don't stand in one place and lose every battle they participate in. Just most of them in the rival's case. He's a faggot.

Okay, anyway, our story pre-begins with a sleeping person, in a bed, on the second floor of a house, in a town nobody cares about. Good enough.

"Aero!" Shouted an adult female from the first floor of the house in the town nobody cares about. "Aeeeerrroooo!"

The previously mentioned sleeping person rolled over in their bed.

"Aero, wake up! The professor will be here any second now to probe you for personal information, run away, make you to find him, and then force you to take care of a stupid animal with destructive powers for the rest of your existence."

"Five more minutes…" mumbled the human-shape form underneath the covers.

The female parent-figure charged up the stairs, and delivered a karate chop to the area of the bed that was relatively estimated to house the sleeping entity's abdomen. "WAKE UP NOW!"

It's super effective!

AERO woke up!

Aero's mother went back downstairs.

After recovering from being karate chopped by a mother with a black belt in playing too many video games, regaining his breath, and coughing up blood, Aero eventually made it out of bed.

"Fucking hell." Our protagonist said no nobody in particular while holding his wounded tummy.

Suddenly, the sound of shattering glass from downstairs.

"It is I, Professor Oa-"

"You fuck! Use the door like a normal person!"

"Science has no time for doors!"

"Your science better be paying for my fucking window!"

"Direct me to your son and/or daughter please."


Then the sound of assault. "Oof!" Then irregular footsteps on the stairs.

Then the figure of an aged man in a standard-issue lab coat holding his stomach in pain.

"Your *huff* mother has *wheeze* one hell of a *hack* karate chop."

"Tell me about it."


PM me your answers for a free punch to the kidney! Family fun for everyone!