I watched in amusement as Aro slammed into Alice. "Coco!" He wailed as he grabbed the pillow out of Jane's hand. "Oooh, mommy missed you so much! Jane? Where's his carrier?" Aro snapped at Jane. Jane ran back to the jet, which was parked right in the driveway. She came back holding a hot pink carrier and a matching roll-along suitcase. Aro jumped up and down with GLEEEE! "Oh you're fabulous, Jane, dear," Aro simpered. "I didn't even have to tell you to bring along his wardrobe." Aro turned to us. "Now Coco can be in the fashion show too!" At that point, Jasper walked down the stairs, saw Aro fondling Coco and shot him a look of disgust. He turned around and walked right back up the stairs.
I looked over to Alice and asked, "Why is Coco an iguana? Why not a cute, fluffy, puppy?" Alice looked at me in disbelief.
"Bella, you're so naïve it's cute," she replied. "Though isn't it obvious? Coco's cold-blooded, which stops the temptation of eating him." Oh. I guess that was true. We walked over to the lizard who was lounging on the pillow. If you stared at it long enough, with your head tilted while squinting, it could be cute.
Aro opened his Coach bag and pulled out a bag of lizard treats. Coco lazily turned his head slightly towards Aro, looking vaguely interested in him. Aro walked up to Coco and rubbed his nose against his face. "My baby's so active, isn't he? A lot more active than a normal lizard." Aro opened the bag of treats and squealed, "Num-nums for Coco!" Aro pulled out a little food dish and set it in front of the lizard. He neatly arranged the "num-nums" into a pyramid. He pulled out a second dish and a bottle of very expensive looking water in a frosted bottle sparkling with Swarovski crystals and poured some into the dish.
I turned to Alice with a questioning look about the overly-pricey looking water. She turned to me and mouthed "Bling H2O". Figures.
"Eat, my precious, eat." Aro cooed softly, stroking Coco on his small back. After the lengthy process of feeding Coco, we all trooped back to Alice's room. As we entered the room, Coco vaguely turned his head towards the largest couch. Aro ran into the room and placed Coco there. "This is Coco's chair," he said. "He likes it best." Rosalie shot a dirty look at Coco and settled herself into an armchair. Wow. Coco's such a hassel.
Stupid Coco. He didn't need all that room! Since when did Coco become so greedy? Since he became fat! Look at that pudge hanging everywhere! Ew. I don't want a Coco anymore! Alice walked over to her DVD player and popped in Legally Blonde 2. Aro clapped his hands with joy.
"Ooooh, Coco and I love this one, don't we, baby?" Aro turned eagerly towards Coco, waiting for a response. Coco did nothing. Aro turned away, looking slightly put-down but put on a smile shortly afterwards and pretended nothing happened. Alice sat down on theh floor beside Bella.
"Let's plan the fashion show!" So we sat there for a couple of hours mapping out the perfect fashion show. Bella protested and refused to take part of it, but I could handle her. I winked at Alice and Aro (ignoring Coco) and they got my hint. Once we finished, Aro jumped up and ran to Coco's suitcase.
"It's time for Coco's sunbathe!" Aro shrieked. He pulled out a heat lamp and a pair of incredibly tiny Dolce & Gabbana sunglasses in a shade of hot pink. Aro turned to us knowingly and said, "Custom made!" After carefully placing Coco under his heat lamp with his sunglasses securely on, Aro turned away from the lizard. "Okay! Let's get this fashion show on the road!" We still had to rearrange the living room and turn it into a runway.
"Bella, you stay here," I said to Bella. "We can go set it up in seconds. You'll just slow us down!" Bella looked offended. Well, I didn't really care, but Alice patted her head on the way out of the door.
"Take care of Coco, darling!" Aro called out. Oh Aro. That was a bad call on your end.
As Alice, Rosalie and Aro filed out of the room, I slowly turned to Coco and gave him a dirty look. I could've sworn I heard a small hiss escape from his lips. His head was moving around fast enough now as he turned to me and stared at me right in the eye. I looked over to his food dish and saw that one of the treats was gone. Hmm…maybe I should go fill it up again. I walked over to the bag of num-nums and started to pull out some more as I took a spot beside the lizard. Coco really did hiss angrily and quickly crawled over to me and stuck his perfectly manicured teeth into my wrist, leaving nothing but a bruise and the beginnings of a swollen wrist. Thank Carlisle there was no blood and thank Aro for making Coco's teeth too delicate. "Ow!" I yelled out, a little too late. "Look what you did, you stupid reptile!" I scolded as I lightly tapped him on the head as some form of punishment. I was scared to his him anymore than that.
Suddenly, Coco began to wheeze heavily and make odd gasping and gagging noises. I panicked as I tried to figure out what was wrong. Did he choke? No, he couldn't have, he didn't eat any num-nums! Was he choking on his saliva? I wasn't sure…oh no! Was it my fault? Was Coco to delicate to hit? I looked at the door and then I looked back at the wheezing Coco. "Aro?" I called out tentively. Nothing happened. Looks like I had to take matters into my own hands now.
Rosalie, Aro and I flew downstairs and got to work. I pulled out silk lace curtains in vibrant shades of hot pink and lime green, in honour of Coco. I strung the curtains around the room within minutes, as Rosalie trailed behind me putting up large royal blue bows. Aro took one look at the decorations and cringed. "Lime green?" he said in a disgusted tone. "That's so tacky."
"But Aro," I said. "It's in the honour of Coco." Aro's face softened.
"Oh, well in that case, all is well. Carry on ladies," he said as he began to set up a large, black runway. He made it go straight down the room and added a large circular podium at the end of the runway. "That's where we pose," he said, flitting his hands in the air. We all grabbed large leather armchairs and sset them up around the runway. We were done already, and it had only been five minutes. As we stood back to admire our work, Bella came sprinting down the stairs. She was holding Coco on his little pillow, and he looked like he was suffocating.
Aro shrieked a heart-wrenching shriek. "Oh my, baby, my baby! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE, YOU WHORE?" Aro flew towards Bella, seizing Coco and slapping her as hard as he could without breaking her face. The force made Bella trip on her own feet and fall backwards onto the stairs. I heard a faint snapping noise. I was shocked and stood there with my eyes wide. Rosalie looked ready to burst out laughing any second but was trying hard to contain her laughter. I didn't know who to side with!
I ran over to Bella, making my decision. "Bella! Are you okay?" I pulled her up onto her feet and draped my arm around her waist. Her face was red, and it wasn't because she was blushing this time.
"DON'T TALK TO THAT WHORE!" Aro screamed, looking derranged. "Look at what she's done to him! My precious! My precious!" Rosalie tilted her head thoughtfully and surprisingly said,
"It looks like he's having an asthma attack." Aro gasped and dry sobbed hysterically, looking ready to pass out.
"Save him! Somebody…please save him." Aro drew a great rattling breath and collapsed on the floor, dropping Coco. I quickly grabbed the lizard before he hit the floor. I scowled and stared down at him. I only saved the greedy beast because I could never get into an argument with Aro. That would spark a war, and would lead to depression. I loved Aro too much. I ran to Emmett's washroom and began digging through his cabinet to find what I was looking for. Emmett appeared in the doorway and watched my frantic searching. I finally managed to p ull out a small, blue inhaler.
Quickly, I stuffed it in Coco's mouth, pushing the little button. Coco heaved and pulled in the medicine, his coughing and wheezing coming to a halt. Bella and Alice appeared in the doorway with Emmett as well, watching me save the fat –no obese- lizard. Coco soon began to breathe normally. Everyone cheered.
Suddenly Emmett's face fell. "Oh good job, Rosalie. Now everyone knows I have asthma!" He stomped away. Jasper's voice called out,
"Really? Vampires can have asthma? You should look into that, Carlisle."
"I already did son," Carlisle called back.
"You always have to do everything first, don't you?" Jasper dry sobbed and ran into the study, slamming the door behind him. Oh great. Looks like Bella must be PMS-ing again.
I watched in amusement as my children (and Bella) were gathered around a fat-looking green lizard. Rosalie turned to the group and said, "What about Aro? Shouldn't we go help him?" They ran to where Aro was passed out and Alice shouted to me on her way out,
"You better come too, Carlisle." I sighed, cringed, and then followed. Once I got downstairs, I spotted Aro, lying dramatically on the floor. I walked closer to Aro, cautiously as I knew he would wake up once he smelt me. I was right. Aro stirred and sat up feebly. He draped his arms around my neck and looked into my eyes. I tried to pull away, but he held on for dear life.
"Oh my saviour," he sighed, with a purr in his voice. One of his fingers began to work their way up my chest and I struggled fruitlessly to get away. "You know, I might not be able to get back up the stairs. I need a big, strong man to carry me up," he said softly, giving me what he thought was a seductive smile.
"Lucky for me, um, I mean you, that Alice is 100 times stronger than a man. She can help you," I said, giving Alice a grateful look as she pryed Aro from me.
I helped Aro up the stairs with Rosalie and Bella behind me. Once I got Aro settled on my couch, Rosalie placed coco beside him. "COCO! You're alright!" He kissed the lizard repeatedly. He looked up with shining eyes. "Now that everyones okay, let's get this fashion show on the road!"