author's note: I own nothing. I admit to nothing. You can't prove a ... ahem. These are just for fun, not for profit, and are not intended to represent the actors in the Harry Potter movies or any other real people.

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"I know lots of things you don't, Tom Riddle. Want to hear some?"

But Harry's next words were drowned out by the sound of Peeves' nasal voice singing: "I know something you don't know, I know something you don't know, nyah nyah..."

"Peeves, shut up! You're ruining it! Cut!" yelled McGonagall. "Try it again."


"I know lots of things you don't, Tom Riddle. Want to hear some?"

Voldemort glared at him.

"Bellatrix likes you. As in, really likes you."

"You think I didn't know that?" sneered Voldemort. "Foolish boy. You're almost as stupid and self-deceived as she is."

"You mean ... you don't care?" cried Bellatrix, springing up from the smoking crater where Molly Weasley had left her. "Voldy, I ... I thought we had something special! I thought –"

"Silence!" shouted Voldemort. "Bella, if you haven't got the patience to remain dead, at least don't call me that stupid name in front of everyone!"

Bellatrix burst into tears.

"Stop, stop, you're going to ruin your makeup if you do that!" cried Flitwick, wringing his hands. "Do you know how long it took me to get your eyes right?" He whipped out his wand and zapped Bellatrix with a Cheering Charm, but she only turned away, wailing even louder.

"Too late," sighed Professor Sprout, shaking her head. "Now you've set her off. It's going to take her a good two hours to calm down after this ... she's such a highstrung drama queen. Poppy, let's go get some coffee while we're waiting, I don't think we really want to stick around and watch while they sort this mess out."

"Agreed," muttered Madam Pomfrey, and they slipped out the door, leaving the considerable uproar behind them.