Hi Guys! Okay, well this story starts on the plane ride home from Italy after Bella and Alice saved Edward...lets see where it takes us!

I don't own this story. My name is Shannon not Stephenie. Smiles

"Bella." Edward breathed. His arms were wrapped around my waist and i was in his lap. i did my best to keep my tears in my eyes on the plane, but every so often they would slip out and my breathing would hitch a bit. Like it did just now.

"Oh, Edward." i whispered as i put my head in my hands and shook. "I hate this dream, i dont want to wake up!"

"It isn't a dream, Bella. I am here with you, forever."

"Don't say that, Edward." i croaked. It pained me at his ability to lie. I could believe anything he said if i looked into his eyes.

"But im here, forever." He whispered as he pulled one hand from my face and kissed my wrist. "Please don't cry, Bella." i crushed myself into him, like i had done so many times on this plane ride home.

"What happens when you get bored again?"

"I was never bored Bella, i needed to try to protect you."

"i dont want to talk about it now Edward. Can you please just hold me?" he did as i asked and i listened to his breathing. i clutched onto him with all my might. If i never let him go, he could never leave me again.

I felt myself slowly slipping to unconsiousness. How long had it been since i slept? i closed my eyes and breathed in Edward's heady scent. I knew he would be gone again and i wanted to get as much of his scent as i could get. i inhaled and tried to sleep but i heard edwards voice quietly in my ear. Will she never trust me again? How could I hurt my baby in such a way?

"What did you say, Edward?" i mumbled. i was almost asleep.

"I haven't said a word, sweetheart." Edward said. i looked up at him and saw his brow furrow. Why does she think i am going to leave her?

"Because you already have, Edward." i mumured.

"What?" He asked, his eyes looked suprised but his facial expression showed confusion.

"You wanted to know why i thought you were going to leave me again. So i said because you already did and who knows how long it will take before you become bored again."

"Bella" Edward began but i found myself looking at his beautiful features. i heard him speak but i couldnt respond. i slowly and cautiously brought my fingers to his face. I traced his cheekbones, his nose and chin, then his perfectly defined jaw. I have missed this. I heard Edward say, but i was looking straight at him and his lips never moved. Well, i will bring it up later. i gently brought my finger to his eyes and traced the sleepless bruises as he breathed slowly onto me. i brought my fingers down to his lips. i gently traced the satin skin that covered his perfect teeth. i traced them over and over before he gently kissed my finger tips. i skipped a breath. I wanted him to kiss my lips, but i knew that it would hurt me too much to fall into the kiss.

"I missed you, Edward." i whispered as i rested my head on his shoulder. He rubbed my back as i slowly drifted into sleep. He didn't speak but i heard his voice again. I missed you. My heart is back, Bella. You are my angel.

I slept through the remainder of the plane ride and only woke as we were landing in Phoenix.

I felt myself being lifted up and as i opened my eyes i realized Edward was carrying me.

"Please put me down, Edward. I can walk." I whispered. He stood still for a moment but then complied. No one talked as we drove to Forks, or as we pulled up to the Cullen's house.

"Bella" Carlisle asked quietly. "Do you want me to call Charlie and sort everything out?"

"Yes, please. Dr. Cullen that would be great!" I lazily stood from the can and slowly walked to the door.

"Bella" i heard Edward whisper. He was close to me because he knew i was tired and that i was likely to trip.

"Hmmm" i mumbled. I felt him picking me up but was too tired to argue. I felt a breeze then felt myself being laid down on cold leather. Edward's couch. I felt him put me down and begin to slip away.

"No" i cried as i pulled his arm to me.


"Don't leave me, Edward. Please, i want to feel you next to me when i sleep. I've been alone for months, i need to have you next to me."

"I'm not going anywhere. Not ever." Edward whispered as he positioned me so we were both on our sides and faceing eachother while laying down on the couch. I want to be next to you forever, Bella. I think impure thoughts of you, why can't i be a gentleman? I heard his voice.


"Yes, Bella?"

"I want you to be next to me forever. And i want you to be with me forever. Don't think that you aren't a gentleman because you think certain thoughts about me. I think the same about you, especially while you were gone."

"How did you do that?" Edward asked.

"Do what?"

"Well, you said the answer to what i was thinking." He looked amused.

"I've been hearing you since the plane ride."

"You mean...when i wasn't talking?"

"Yes, i suppose so." i whispered as i closed my eyes.

"Bella!" Edward said loudly as he sat up. I pulled him back down and stroked his face as it was so close to mine. "Bella, you know what im thinking."

"No i dont." I whispered as i inhaled his scent. As i breathed out i heard him again. Oh, her smell. It is so sensual. I smiled.

"You heard me, didn't you." He whispered while he moved his head to kiss the palm of my hand.

"Yes, i did Edward." i whispered. He leaned in to kiss me and i felt him grow stiff as i pulled away.

"I'm sorry, Bella." He whispered.

"It isn't you're fault Edward. But this way it will hurt less."

"Hurt less?"

"Yes, if i dont kiss you, it might be easier when you leave again."

"I'm not going to leave again, Bella. Please believe me."

"I believe you." i whispered.

"No you don't. Please, look at me and tell me you believe me, Bella."

I opened my eyes to look into his. "Edward, i cant tell you that without lying."

"Please, try to believe me." He begged. It hurt me to know that i honestly dont think that i could. he leaned in again and i pulled away. he pushed forward and i felt my head hit the back of Edward's couch.

"Edward" i began but he cut me off.

"I am going to show you, Bella." Then his lips were on mine. It was more than just his kiss, it was his hands stroking my stomach and back gently as he moved his lips against mine. i felt his tounge slide across my lower lip and moaned. That sound is music. He thought. i let his tounge into my mouth and petted it as it danced around my own.

He broke the kiss so i could breathe, but i wasn't ready to stop kissing him. I took three deep breaths and whispered. "I'm not done with you yet." he smiled into my lips and i pushed my entire body up against his. He moved so that he was ontop of me. Oh, you drive me crazy.

Edward moved to softly kiss my neck as i quietly moaned his name. He was trembling now.

"Bella, i can't." He said as he sat up and pulled himself as far away from me a possible on the couch. Oh, you make me crazy.

"Edward, what?"

"I cant do this...i can't be with you. I thought that since i wasnt thirsty when i saw you, or even when i first kissed you but i cant."

"My blood is making you upset." i said glumly.

"No, im fine with your blood Bella." He struggled to shallow. "I can't...i can't make love to you. i thought i could but i can't. Im sorry."

"Why? If my blood isn't bothering you than why not?" i was so upset.

"I can't."


"Because i am afraid, Bella."


"Because if i look at you when you arent sheltered by your clothing..."He gulped but i heard his thoughts. I can control my thirst for blood, but can't- i won't try. "I don't know, i just cant."

"Please try." i couldnt believe i was asking him this!

"Bella, I-"

"No, you leave me for months and i am shattered, i save you because you think i am dead and even though you left me you cant live without me, then you say you can controll your thirst for my blood but just cant be with me? Are you kidding me?" I started to cry. "Am i ever going to be enough?"


"No, i don't know what you want from me." i turned over so i wasnt facing him.

i heard him stand then i heard the ripping noise as cloth was shredded. i looked over my shoulder to see Edward standing, nose flaring, eyes wide and nervous, and his shirt in peices on the floor. "All i want from you is for you to love me forever, like i will love you."

"I do love you, but why dont you want to be with me?" i was crying still.

"Bella" he whispered as he sank to his knees on the floor. "i know this is the worst excuse ever but i..." i can't believe im saying this! "I don't know what to do."


"I don't know what i would do, i've never done any of this before." He was breathing heavily and i smiled at his beautiful face.

"I am sorry for pressing you Edward. Seeing you're face in reality is enough for me." i rubbed his cheek.

"Go to sleep, Bella."

"I love you, Edward."

"I love you...forever."

Should i continue this? i dont know if it should be a one shot or if i should continue this...i will let you tell me though.