Title: Illumination Trilogy: Power Surge
Disclaimer: That whore Meyer owns these books. No profit in writing this.
Warnings: profanity, violence, lemons, AU, slight OOC, POST NM
Pairing: book pairings
Rating: M for mature
Summary: Bella having left, Edward tries to come to terms with why she would have abandoned him; was it because he was too overbearing, too much of a dead weight? Barking upon an adventure to find his lost love, Edward consequently takes on a self-exploration and finally comes to terms that despite his label, its his soul that truly counts in the end.
"You die, O thrice desired,
And my desire has flown like a dream,
Gone with you is the girdle of my beauty,
But I myself must live who am a goddess
And may not follow you.
Kiss me once again, the last, long kiss,
Until I draw your soul within my lips
And drink down all your love."
The mountains all were calling and the oak tree answering,
Oh, woe, woe for Adonis. He is dead.
And Echo cried in answer, Oh, woe, woe for Adonis.
And all the Loves wept for him, and all the Muses too.
-Aphrodite's words to Adonis after his death
I was no virgin to humanity; I felt the delicious sting of pain and remorse, the building pleasure of desire. Yet, I was awed by the immensity of a normal human emotion - hatred. No one could ever love a monster such as I - a selfish, masochistic cretin. I had escaped hell and hid in heaven; I was the wolf disguised among the lambs, at stalking Lucifer among angels. My lies have become such a pivotal part of my life that I forgot myself, forgot exactly what hellish creature I am.
I remember that now. I remember this as her blood pools under my nails, through my lips. I identified all of this as wrong, but I couldn't stop. The impulse to taste her was too strong - it reverberated throughout my system, maddening me, destroying my control. I needed her. I needed her so much that my need was going to kill her.
For these split seconds, I could barely care.