Disclaimer: Me no owno Supernatural.

These are strictly meant to be humorous parodies, not offensive in any way whatsoever. I love Supernatural with my life and wouldn't write anything to defame or otherwise insult the amazing 1-hour timeslot that is Supernatural.

Keep it real.

25 Ways to Annoy Dean Winchester

1. Switch the Impala for a pink punch buggy.

2. … and tell him that it was Sam's idea.

3. Ask him which hunter is hotter, himself, or Sam?

4. If he replies himself, cock your head to the side and say, "Are you sure? 'Cause Sam does have the nicer bod."

5. If he replies Sam, look satisfied and say, "I knew it! So all those women were just a ploy to make Sam jealous, eh?"

6. Tell him he is, and always will be, shorter than Sam.

7. Say that his lack of emotion is really a shield for all his pent up feelings and he really needs a huggle.

8. Give him a teddy bear. Watch his face light up like a Christmas tree.

9. Give Sam a bigger teddy bear. Watch him fight Sam for it.

10. Ask him if he caught yesterday's Oprah.

11. Ask him if it's true that he has a tattoo of a ladybug on his butt.

12. When he asks who the hell told you that, shrug and say, "I just figured that you and Sam had matching ones, so…"

13. Replace all of his classic rock tapes with Mariah Carey and Celine Dion.

14. …then photograph the look on his face when he slips in his AC/DC tape only to hear "My Heart Will Go On."

15. Tell him that, on the bright side, when he dies, Sam inherits his Impala.

16. …and tell him that Sam intends paint it lime green and put fuzzy pink dice on the rearview mirror.

17. Tell him that you know he kisses his car goodnight.

18. Everyone knows that Sam was the favorite.

19. When he tells you something, say "WHAT?" like you didn't hear. When he repeats it, say "WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU? SPEAK UP!" When he repeats it again, do the same thing. See how long you can keep it up, but make sure he isn't carrying a gun.

20. Two words: Free Willy. He'll cry like a baby.

21. Call him a variety of fan-inspired nicknames: "Deano," "Deany-Baby," "Dean Bean," or, my personal favorite, "Mr. Sexy."

22. Show him fan fiction focusing on the "Supernatural" section.

23. ...especially all the Wincest fics.

24. …and watch him shoot the computer. Then gouge out his eyeballs. (A/N: I am not intending to insult Wincest fics in any way)

25. Comment to Sam in front of him, "Have you been bench pressing? It really shows."

A/N: I might just make this a series, if I stop being lazy. Who should I do next, Sam, John, or other? Review!