My Third Daughter's First Date

By C.LeShay

Summary: After an innocent question thrown to him by Rukia, Isshin comes to realize that his third daughter has yet to experience the thrill of a first date. What's a dutiful father got to do anyway?

This is my first ever fanfiction published, despite having written a slew of it already. I will try not to put spoilers by not making references to SS and HM arcs. I have no beta, and if anyone is interested, please just PM me. By the way, please be gentle – I'm a fanfiction virgin.

I'll try to invent TV shows so I don't get sued much too.

Fiction Rating: T for violence, potty mouth, and vague references to 'extra-curricular activities' during dating.

Characters: Isshin, Yuzu, Karin, Kon, IchigoXRukia

Disclaimer: The only Bleach I own is in a laundry detergent.

Chapter 1: Television is just like real life

It was a Friday evening and in the Kurosaki household, it only meant one thing: TV date for the whole family.

"Hurry it up, idiot!" Rukia said as she pushed Ichigo out of his room, "It's Friday night TV fest!"

Glaring (as if he'd do anything else), Ichigo pushed Rukia's hands off his shoulders "Oi bitch! Quit it, will you!"

"Shut it, strawberry, I don't want to miss the show."

As part of Isshin's weekly tradition, he always dragged his family downstairs to watch his favorite shows (or sappy romantic dramas according to Ichigo and Karin) for their regular family bonding. As he always supplied loads of pizza – with an extra layer of mozzarella, of course - and buckets of fries with loads of condiments, from ketchup to gravy, Karin was easily persuaded to stay for an hour as long as the old man didn't try on glomping her.

Ichigo might have gotten away, had not Isshin threaten to post in the clinic's entrance damning photos of him in compromising positions – a.k.a. his naked baby pictures. One day, he promised himself, he was going to kick his old man into oblivion as payback for this harrowing torture he devised the day Rukia joined their household.

As for Yuzu and Rukia, both were clearly taken into the quote-unquote drama, passion, despair, hope, sacrifice, tragedy, and triumph of love that was Isshin's favorite drama, the aptly titled My Girl…My Life…. My Love – In Paris: Forever.

"That has got to be the cheesiest show on air and you still watch it." Muttered Ichigo as he watched the girls get comfortable on the sofa with Isshin. "I mean, what the hell is wrong with those two anyway; its not like they're related that they can't be together."

"Ichi-nii!" Yuzu cried out, "Everyone thinks that they're siblings!"

"But they're not." Interjected Karin dryly. "The girl's adopted anyway. It's the DNA that counts."

Yuzu shook her head vehemently, "But Ian already has a girlfriend, Roesemarie's best friend to boot! You can't have a girlfriend and date her best friend at the same time!"

"Like that doesn't happen in real life!" Karin scoffed "I'm sure Ichi-nii has DOZENS of girlfriends…"

The said offended 'playboy' gave his sister a frosty glare "Hey!"

Karin paused, as if to consider her words, then she smiled. "Oh yeah, like there would be a girl who'd like Ichi-nii's scowling mug."

"She's been living with him for years, maybe that would seem disturbing for others – though there's nothing wrong with that." Came Rukia's quiet voice out of the blue. As everyone looked at her, she glared back "WHAT?"

Beside her, Isshin chortled in laughter as his other kids looked at the small, adopted third daughter with surprise at her apparent and first-ever reaction. Rukia, not used with the idea of TV often fell silent whenever they made remarks about a particular episode, perhaps brought by her apparent ignorance of popular culture. Needless to say, Isshin was happy that she made a venture to join the conversation. "Don't worry Rukia-chan," he said soothingly, "we won't go that far as to adopt you as a Kurosaki."

The reactions of his family were priceless.

Ichigo spluttered so much while in the middle of drinking his soda that his drink rushed out of his nose. "What the hell old man!" He cried out as he wiped his face. Karin raised an eyebrow and just gave her brother a smug smile. Yuzu's brows were furrowed in confusion as she paused in mid bite of her pizza. Rukia on the other hand just stared blankly at him for a moment. "You don't want to adopt me?" She asked innocently.

Ah, the fish bit the bait.

Isshin's eyes suddenly glistened with unshed tears ("Faker," Ichigo mumbles to himself) "But my dear third daughter, in as much as I want you to be a Kurosaki, adopting you simply won't do! You see, I'd much rather you ma –

"Shut up and watch the show, you annoying old fart!" Ichigo shouted as he threw a pillow at his father before he could say something that would humiliate him. At the sly glance he got from his father, Ichigo knew that Isshin would LOVE to have his Rukia-chan as a daughter-in-law instead of a daughter.

Oblivious to everything, Rukia continued to watch TV. Wordlessly, she poured a large amount of gravy onto her plate of fries.

"That's just gross." Ichigo muttered in disgust at his partner's appalling taste. He suddenly wondered if Inoue was THAT much of an influence to Rukia. Maybe he should let Yuzu teach her how to cook – just so to prevent anything else from coming up.

To his horror, Rukia now dipped the pizza into the gravy before eating it.

-- --

"Oh that was just so romantic!" gushed Yuzu as the credits of the TV show flashed on the screen. They have just finished the current episode where the two protagonists went on a secret date. "I mean, they way Ian asked Rosemarie out for a date was pretty romantic!"

To her left, Karin snorted. "Romantic? Geez Yuzu, what's romantic with flying a dozen heart-shaped pink balloons? Pink? Tasteless."

"It's romantic!" Yuzu argued, "Isn't it, dad?"

Ever eager to please his beloved Yuzu, Isshin nodded reverently "I must say it was artistic, heart-rendering, -

"Just shut pops!" Interrupted Karin as she finished off her pizza hurriedly.

"When you grow up Karin, you'll find that romance does not mean a kick to head." Isshin cried out as he attempted to hug his other daughter "And when you need advice on boys and sex –

"Pipe down, stupid old man!"

While the three were continuing with their bickering, Ichigo stood up and grabbed the last slice of the pizza. Suddenly, a hand slapped his – "Hey!"

"This is mine." Rukia said seriously as she took the last slice.

"The hell, you bitch."

"Rukia nee," Yuzu called out "what do you think?"

Bemused, Rukia looked at Yuzu "Eh?" she asked as she took a bite out of the pizza. Both she and Ichigo remained in their previous positions, hunched over an empty pizza tray. Belatedly, the orange head straightened up quickly.

"Rukia nee, I asked if you found it romantic? As in a romantic idea for a first date?"

"Sure." Came the all to quick reply.

Like a shark that smelled blood, Isshin realized that the hasty response was quite interesting so he cried, "Sure, my dearest third daughter? That is all you can say about such a sweet, tender, poignant, and romantic moment? My dear, you're not a romantic at all." He quickly stepped forward and took Rukia's small, fries and pizza-greased hands "Dare I say that your first date was a pathetic experience that you dismiss romance easily?"

Rukia frowned "First date? I have no idea what you're taking about. Is it like in the show, with the candles and the violin stuff – that kind of date?"

Isshin's grin was positively gleeful and predatory at the same time "Have you ever been out on a date, Rukia-chan?"

And Ichigo could swear – up on a stack of bibles – that you can hear the proverbial penny drop in the deathly silence. Heck, he was even sure that his breathing stopped. Though Rukia was an old shinigami, Ichigo was sure that the list of crappy dates that she had was short.

In the back of his mind, he vaguely heard himself wish that the good ones were even shorter.

Rukia looked thoughtful "Well… not really."

Everyone looked at her and Rukia blinked.

"Not once? Not ever?" Isshin asked in a theatrical whisper.

Ichigo stood there looking all cool and uncaring as his father and the others waited for Rukia's answer. Of course, no one need to know that he was straining his ears so much that Ichigo was sure he could hear their next-door-neighbor flossing his teeth.

After a while, Rukia shrugged "No."

"What?" cried out Isshin in a distressed tone. "No! This can't be, my third daughter has never experienced the drama and the romance of a first date, nor the heart-thumping, adrenalin-pumping emotions of first love!" Quickly, Isshin made a move to hug Rukia, but the said shinigami – turned high school student evaded him gracefully by refilling her glass with soda.

"Eh? Really?" Yuzu gushed out in disbelief. "You haven't been out on a date ever, Rukia – nee?"

Rukia could not understand the point of the inquisition. Sure, she went out with friends in soul society before, it was all good fun, but it was not like in those dramas where the guy goes all mushy all of a sudden. "No, not ever."

Even Karin was surprised. Sure, she knew that the girl who sleeps in her bedroom was once the girl who stayed in her nii-san's closet; sure, she also knew that this girl was different than the others and she was someone who had a high amount of ability than what was normal; and sure, Karin might have once thought (and she still does too) that this girl-woman was probably not as human as her brother, she even might be dead. However, the middle child of the Kurosaki siblings also knew that Kuchiki Rukia was a cute girl. Passably not in the league of Inoue Orihime, but she was – in her own way even prettier.

Scratch it, pretty seemed to be a weak adjective. Kuchiki Rukia had SOMETHING about her. A definite allure that made her memorable. Glancing covertly at her brother, Karin would gladly bet her month's allowance that she captivated him as well. Whether or not he was aware of it, of course.

"I don't believe it!" Isshin cried out.

"Che. Like a guy would waste time dating HER."

"Ichi-nii, you're so mean!"

"Smooth, Ichi-nii; real smooth."

Suddenly, Ichigo found his family surrounding the petite shinigami, all asking her pointless questions.

"No seriously, you really haven't been out on a date?" – Karin

"But Rukia-nee, what about the guy that's been calling you recently?" – Yuzu (Ichigo's eyebrows contorted in a grimace)

"No! This can't be! My third daughter should not be left out!" – well, obviously Isshin

Rukia, for her part looked unconcerned. "I don't understand why that is such a big deal…

Beside her, Isshin suddenly took hold of her shoulders "Rukia-chan, my dearest, beloved third daughter," he said, oblivious to Rukia's discomfort or Ichigo's boiling anger "Do not fret! Daddy here will make everything right! Yuzu! Karin! Both of you girls have to join me in this eneadvor!"

Karin just raised an eyebrow as Yuzu nodded enthusiastically.

"We are going to assist Rukia-chan in getting her perfect, romantic, and first-ever date!"

"What?" Rukia and Ichigo asked at the same time.

A/N: Anyway, that concludes the first chapter of My Third Daughter's First Date. I'm still not sure how to go about finishing this, simply because I do not have the time and all of my ideas are still a mumbo-jumbo mess that I am in the middle of unraveling.

I desperately need a beta!

Please, if anyone liked this please send reviews! My self-confidence is a bit shaky since this is my first too. Like Rukia, I have never felt the heart-stopping happiness bought about by Reviews! Haha!

I apologize if my characters may seem OC, or if the plot seems weird. As I said, I have no beta yet.

Cheers to all and… BANKAI! Bankai? Hehe, I still have to train more.

And oh, as for the gravy thing, yeah it's weird; but I LOVE gravy and I DO put it on my fries and I also use it on pizza sometimes. Of course, I also use hot sauce…