Epilogue – For Eternity

Summary: "Masaki, oh dear my Masaki! Our son grew up to be a PERVERT. He's a knave, a vermin, a cad, a scourge of the innocents, a rake, a deflowerer of maidens, despoiler of virgins!"

Fiction Rating: T+ for violence, potty mouth, and other 'stuff.'

Characters: Isshin, Yuzu, Karin, Ishida, Inoue, Chad, Keigo, Tatsuki, Mizuiro, and IchigoXRukia

Disclaimer: I give up, Kubo OWNS Bleach. That is until I can perfect my astral projection technique and use it to scare him into giving me the rights to own Bleach!

SPOILERS: Watch the anime? Well, spoilers are up to the Arrancar arc. Plus, I took the liberty of twisting the future timeline for my own selfish reason (NO, Kubo-sama, I did not aim to infringe on your awesome right to own Bleach)

WARNING: Fluff-berg, up ahead! Slight OOC moments, again. Let's just say that this chapter doesn't have that much insane humor because I had to tie up a lot of things here; but I promise that I inserted subtle funny bits and the usual Isshin weirdness to tide you all. Plus after you read this chapter, scroll down for a surprise.

Oh yeah, sushi-alphonse, thanks for the glowing comment about this fic. Gah, now I'm feeling the pressure. I hope this lives up to your expectations and everyone else's. Also, since this is the LAST chapter, I'd like to list down the names of the people who were generous enough to review, you guys really made my confidence grow, and the next IchiRuku fic was possible because you reviewed. I apologize if you don't find your name here, because chances are, I wrote this before I saw your names in my review list. Ok?

Thanks to:

Werefox Alchemist

Kiralyne

Catho

Loveyouso

HinduGoddess

Embrace nothing

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Cherryblossom279

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xo. P r i s c i l l a

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bLuShInRaiN

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Whew! Thanks to all of you guys for the encouragement and the snippets of advice you dolled out for me.

To my beta, I'm not sure if you want me to out your name out… but I'll use your username for LJ: recklessflight, working with you has been a fun and almost surreal experience! Thank for everything, ok? Of course, we're not finished yet; you still have to read my next IchiRuki fic. Hehe!

So here it is, the epilogue for My Third Daughter's First Date.

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It was a Friday night. Naturally, it was a day that was sacred in the Kurosaki household. Watching cheesy dramas was not Ichigo's idea of a great day, but his old man promised more food than what they could stomach, and Ichigo planned on taking advantage of that. Besides, Yuzu would be worried if they were late.

Now if only a certain somebody would hurry up and just picked up one of the damn linen, so they could go home.

"Come on, Rukia, all of them are the same; don't you see the mug of that rabbit?"

"I'm not sure if I want the pink chappy blanket, or the blue one." She said worriedly as she looked at the collection. "Of course, the yellow print chappy is a good choice too, as is the green one."

Ichigo already turned 18. He was still a substitute shinigami though, but now; Inoue, Chad, and even Ishida joined him in regularly keeping Karakura town safe from hollows. All of them decided to take the exam at the prestigious Tokyo University. Now, considering that the four of them were among the high-ranked students back at Senior High, it was no wonder that results were admirable; of course it was no easy task.

Of the hundreds of students who took the harrowing entrance exams, Ichigo placed 50th. Obviously, it wasn't bad a performance and he was then allowed to take up the required units for a medical degree. Chad, the quiet, studious one, placed 35th and he decided to take up Engineering. One would think that a metal beam falling on top of one's head would make one averse to anything construction-related…

For Inoue Orihime, Todai was a symbol of success and freedom to try new things. Together with her best friend, Tatsuki, the two spent a grueling study schedule in order to pass the exams. Fortune favors the persistent, as it seems, and the two were able to make it to Todai as well. Tatsuki, who wanted to become an economist, was ranked 80th while Inoue took an impressive ranking in the 13th spot. Congratulations were in order, but they were immediately recanted as Inoue announced that she planned to expand her horizons by taking up Culinary Arts.

Mizuiro, despite his reluctance to try Todai changed his mind as he spotted one of its beauteous Law professors, not to mention all the older and equally attractive sempais. True to his word, he passed (he was ranked 100th) and is now preparing on his conquest of the older female population.

As for the top-ranked student in Karakura High, Ishida Uryuu made waves by being one of the few applicants who had a prefect score in the entrance exam of Todai – ever – and he was the only so-called genius in his year.

Everyone knew that Ishida could take up anything, something grand and ambitious, but he decided to enroll in an arts-based course, one that deals with his abilities – Fashion Design. As the fastest hand (in sewing) in Karakura, Todai would be in for a major yet pleasant shock once the esteemed tailor set foot on the university's holy grounds.

Unfortunately, Keigo was unable to pass, so he just enrolled in a nearby college and planned to sneak in Todai to mooch lunch off his friends. Predictably, he took up literature, not because he loved the classics, but because he said that he wanted the skills needed to become a successful porn writer.

And what of Rukia, you might ask? Well, finally she was offered a seat in the 13th Division, but just as Kuchiki Byakuya Taicho gave his consent to his sister's captain, it was found out that Todai actually contained a lot of souls unable to move on. These were spirits of the university's loyal employees, dedicated professors, distinguished alumni, disappointed applicants, and the occasional warrior or official from the EDO period. They needed a shinigami to officially patrol the area and secure it from hollows, while working with the resident shinigami representative. Wanting his subordinate to be happy, Ukitake Taicho pulled some strings and he was able to get Rukia assigned to Todai and the Hongo District.

But just how did someone who was ranked third from the bottom of her class get into such a prestigious school where not all who took the said exam could pass? Well, Rukia was able to enlist the assistance of one of Todai's former department heads, which was naturally a ghost. The smart old man – whose daughter happened to resemble Rukia – whispered to her ear the answers, to Ichigo's chagrin.

Yes, Kuchiki Rukia was ranked 2nd among all of the incoming Todai Freshman of that year. And if it wasn't for the fact that there was a hollow and she had to immediately perform konso on the former department head, Rukia may have gotten the last five questions correct.

Now, the two of them were shopping for stuff that they need for the impressive manor, which they will be sharing with their other friends. This idea started when they realized that their shinigami duties couldn't be hidden easily in a campus-based dormitory. It may be a possibility there were residents that had reiatsu, no matter how small. Thus, they decided to instead live in a more-than-decent-sized manor (which was provided by the Kuchiki head for his sister, of course, on the condition that Ichigo get the FARTHEST room from Rukia's suite) that can be found a few minutes away from the university. Naturally, the invitation was extended (again, by Kuchiki Byakuya Taicho) to the other comrades of the annoying orange-haired shinigami and his sister. As the subject of their moonlighting habits was already open to Tatsuki, Mizuiro, and Keigo, they were likewise allowed to join.

"Oi Rukia, just get all of them if you can't decide."

"Excellent idea, Ichigo."

Finally, Ichigo thought tiredly, taking Rukia out shopping was proving to be a very difficult task. He was drained, hungry, and sleepy; naturally, going home was high on his list. They needed to rest, as they were due to move for Hongo before lunch tomorrow.

Mizuiro's girlfriend rented a large van for them so they could follow the moving trucks that would be bringing their stuff to their rented manor.

"Ichigo!" Rukia called out excitedly "Look at the Chappy toothbrush holders!"

Ah, crap.

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It was almost 7pm when they got home, burdened with heavy bags of their many purchases.

"Mou, Ichi-nii, Rukia nee-chan, you two are late."

"Yeah, Ichi-nii; I thought you'd ditch me and leave me alone with the wolves."

"Ah, sorry Yuzu, Karin." Ichigo said, unable to hold his hands up in surrender as he faced his teenaged sisters who were looking at him in disappointment. He stumbled into the house, tottering with the combined weight of all the bags while Rukia followed close behind, carrying a manga she just bought, oblivious to his discomfort.

Sometimes, Ichigo wondered, why was it that he LIKED the presence of this particular shinigami when she bought nothing with her but big trouble.

"ICHIGOOO!" Isshin cried out, as he dashed into the front door, attempting to place a kick on his son's orange head. "You and Rukia-chan are late! Why, you know that it's our Kurosaki Family Friday Bonding Night today!" He whinned as his son was able to deftly avoid him. Suddenly, he stopped and stood up abruptly. "Wait!" Came the strangled cry. Isshin looked at him, then at Rukia. "Rukia-chan! Tell poppa where my spawn brought you?" Before the said girl could answer "Don't tell me…" he said in a strangled stage whisper, as he grabbed his third daughter's hands and looked at her all over to see if anything was amiss. "Don't tell me Ichigo brought you to a… a HOTEL?"

Ichigo kicked his father, sending him careening across the room. "You PERVERT!"

Isshin gasped, falling over again in his exaggeration, "You don't deny it?" He grabbed the collar of his plaid shirt and placed it between his teeth while crying buckets, looking like an abandoned puppy. "Don't tell me you corrupted my Third Daughter, already?!"

Before Ichigo could say anything, Isshin dashed faster than the wind, swiped Rukia's arm and dragged her in front of Masaki's memorial poster – which was a good distance away from Ichigo. The older Kurosaki knelt and held Rukia to his bosom while looking at his son spitefully behind a haze of unshed tears. "Masaki, oh my dear Masaki! Our son grew up to be a PERVERT!" he wailed so loud, Ichigo was sure the neighbors were now hearing it. Great, now his last day at Karakura will be tampered with talks of him being a pervert. "He's a knave, a vermin, a cad, a scourge of the innocents, a rake, a deflowerer of maidens, despoiler of virgins!"

"Shut up!" Shouted a red-faced Ichigo, dropping the bags to walk to his father, intending to give him a bashing he would never forget.

Isshin immediately held out a hand to stop Ichigo in his tracks. "Halt!" He said ominously. "I will not allow you a step closer to Rukia-chan!" Isshin gave his son a severe glare as he clutched Rukia closer to him for her 'protection.' "For the love of all that is holy and all that is pure, control your hormones Ichigo – you're in the presence of your beloved mother!" Isshin shouted, wildly gesturing to the poster of Kurosaki Masaki's smiling face, her hand up in a victory sign. "Do not attempt to try anything on our dear, sweet, innocent, Rukia-chan! My dear Masaki would be turning in her grave if she found about your evil intentions and dark, perverted thoughts for my dear third daughter!"

"Why you…" Seethed Ichigo. The fact that his father still insisted on calling Rukia as his 'third daughter' was still a sore topic for the substitute shinigami. Ichigo remembered the incident where a patient politely inquired Isshin about his family. Without batting an eye, the Kurosaki head smiled and rushed into a detailed description of how Yuzu was becoming a really good chef, how Karin was a member of the girl's soccer team, and how he caught his son making out the other day with his third daughter.

Ichigo still remembers the look of shock, disbelief, and disgust on the woman's face as she looked at him and his father before she upped and fled from the clinic, never returning again.

"Rukia-chan," Isshin said seriously, not looking at her, as he was busy watching Ichigo. "I am worried for your safety when you go to Todai. Who knows what Ichigo might try to do there when I'm not present to stop him."

"Ah…I think I'll be fine." Rukia said, soothing Isshin's hysterics. "After all, Inoue and Tatsuki will be there…" As Ichigo glared at her, she added, "Of course, Ichigo will be a PERFECT gentleman…"

"I don't believe that for one moment, Rukia-chan." Isshin sneered. "You have no idea just how devious that Ichigo is. For all we know," he said conspiratorially, though his voice was as loud as a blow horn "he could be plotting on how to get you alone in the house." The father shook his head at the mental images. "You'll be surprised to find him dragging you into his room, locking the door, throwing you on the bed, ripping off your blouse –

"Dad!" Yuzu cried out, her face red. "That's way too much information!"

Beside her, Karin had a pained look on her face. "DON'T make me lose my appetite for the pizza, old man."

"I think you should bring with you a memorial poster of your mother, Rukia-chan!" Isshin cried out, whipping out a poster of Masaki – this time smiling happily as she held a puppy to her cheeks – from his pants' back pocket (how did he do THAT?), unfurling it, and brandishing it in front of Ichigo like a talisman. "Don't you worry, because Mother will protect and guard you from Ichigo's evil intentions!"

There was a deathly silence. Then –

"That's it you perverted bastard." Spat Ichigo as he dashed to his father "You are SO going down!"

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Finally, the family was able to settle down in time for their favorite show. Isshin was able to calm down and stop attacking Ichigo, though he still threw him a few dirty and angry glances every once in a while.

Karin ordered the usual pizza with additional orders of burgers and fries, while Yuzu brought out the chips and soda from the kitchen. Ichigo was delegated to cook the popcorn and Rukia helped bring out the glasses, plates, and paper towels.

Finally, they were ready for the viewing of the latest soap opera, For Eternity; which was actually the shorter version of its really long title: A Tale of A Princess and A Pauper Who Met While On Vacation In The Bahamas And Falling In Love – Amidst Trials – For Eternity.

"And here I thought I already saw all of the lamest, most boring, plot-clichéd stories that were ever produced." Ichigo grumbled as the open credits came up, in a shocking display of colors and images so bright, they should be deemed a health hazard. "Somebody get that producer a new brain."

"Shh!" Yuzu, Isshin, and Rukia warned.

The silence continued on, as the fans of the show watched with their full attention the story of the protagonists as they struggled to find love and acceptance in a world of insane people who laughed hysterically, cried outrageously, dressed flamboyantly, and fought each other crazily – while making sure that the cameras captured their beautiful angles and telegenic profiles.

Ichigo shuddered as he imagined the kind of life they'd be living at the manor. He prayed to whichever deity it was that was listening, to spare him from the horrors of Rukia's appalling tastes in TV shows; Inoue's mind-numbing food concoctions, Ishida's unexplainable fetish for sewing; Mizuiro's older girlfriends who just might show up in the middle of the night; Keigo's attempt to grope the girls; Tatsuki beating him up; and Chad's...well, indifferent silence. Oh god, with the apparent disaster that such a combination would have, would he be able to get enough peace and quiet to study for his lessons?

The show continued on, and Ichigo just contented himself to eating the food as the others watched. To his left, Karin was lazily throwing up popcorn in the air to catch it with her mouth.

"Katherine." The lead character with seriously repressed issues named Finnigan (WTF?) said quietly as he glanced at the lead female character, a token perky and bubbly girl who wore 'cute' outfits in pink, had her long hair in two high pigtails held back with bright ribbons, and was prone to pouting childishly; despite being already 17 years old. "Katherine, I have something to say…"

Ichigo stole a quick glance at Rukia who was enraptured. Then again, spending time watching sappy shows like this with her for a long time was a prospect that he felt comfortable with, he thought as he felt her small hand underneath his.

The token lead female character looked at the guy from beneath her lashes (no doubt, showing her good angle) before saying in a voice that reminded Ichigo of Pyon "Yes?"

Finnigan kneeled in front of his lady-love.

"Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

Yuzu, Isshin, and Rukia all sighed.

Was this what women wanted? Ichigo asked himself. Okay so his father was a weirdo; but Yuzu and Rukia found such horrible displays romantic. Do women really expect such kind of behavior from guys?

Ichigo was so caught up in his world that he failed to notice his father looking at him with a very peculiar expression on his face.

The lead actress suddenly burst into tears before flinging herself to the guy and screaming a very exuberant "YES!"

- Insert torrid kissy, kissy sessions, which obviously made Ichigo VERY embarrassed, not to mention uncomfortable. As the shinigami beside him tilted her head to concentrate on figuring out the angles that the smooching couples used (was it even possible to move THAT way?), Ichigo itched to cover her eyes from seeing such a disturbing sight.

Maybe it wasn't a good idea anyway, seeing as a simple contact of their hands was enough to tempt him A BIT to just grab her and excuse them from the living room…

Must…not…do…anything…rash…

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"AW…That's just so sweet…" Cooed Yuzu as she hugged a pillow closer after the similarly colorful ending credits rolled.

Ichigo and Karin exchanged glances. Yuzu was such a softie. A sappy softie.

"That really was romantic, Yuzu!" Isshin said enthusiastically as he hugged his daughter.

"What do you think, Rukia-nee?"

In the middle of devouring her pizza – which was - by the way - lathered with gravy, Rukia stopped and looked at Yuzu. "Eh?"

Yuzu looked at Rukia closer, "The proposal scene, Rukia-nee, wasn't it romantic?"

Everyone turned to face the girl who was now on the hot seat.

Conscious that the last time she made such a careless statement got her into trouble, Rukia decided to think up of something, quickly. Suddenly, she whipped out a hanky and wiped the edges of her eyes "Oh…It was WONDERFUL. It was so emotional! I am moved by the romance and the drama!"

Yuzu beamed.

Rukia smiled, relieved to be out of the woods.

Karin looked at the two before grimacing in disgust.

Even Isshin was surprised at the convincing answer.

Ichigo was able to breath again. Sometimes, Rukia's acting skills really did the trick.

Then again…

"Why did he have to kneel down, anyway? And what was that with the ring?"

As Ichigo grasped his head as it ached, and Isshin gave a large smile that signified the impending doom of his oldest child.

"Yuzu!"

"Yes, dad?"

"It seems that we have to teach Rukia-chan everything there is about accepting marriage proposals. She's going to be off to college now, and we definitely have to think about her future as early as now." Isshin turned to the now-shocked Rukia. "Well then, my beloved third daughter, we'll go about finding you a fiancé!"

As chaos erupted in the household (Rukia was sputtering that marriage was not on her mind yet, Yuzu was happily spouting of ideas for a wedding theme, and Karin was stomping on her father to get him to stop), Ichigo groaned as the headache now appeared and intensified. "Oh good lord," he moaned, "not again…"

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The End.

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Or Not…

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"Ichigo!" Isshin cried out the next day as the van with his son's friends arrived. Due to their schedules at school, Karin and Yuzu would be unable to see their brother and Rukia off. However, they were given the promise to visit the two in Hongo during the weekend.

"Hurry it up, Rukia-chan's already waiting!"

As they heard Ichigo holler a quick "Yeah, I'll be downstairs in a minute!"

Sure that his son would take long in coming down, Isshin then turned to face the shinigami who had been staying in their home for a few years now. "Rukia." He said in uncharacteristic seriousness that surprised the shinigami "Watch out for Ichigo always, will you?" Isshin said quietly, as if he didn't want anyone to hear. "He's young and hard-headed. He will always have a volatile temper, until then – bear with him."

Shock rendered Rukia unable to say anything. So she just nodded. For the long time she was a guest in the Kurosaki household, the man who was Kurosaki Isshin was an enigma for her. Despite his weird behavior that often borders on stupidity, there was something about this man; his perceptiveness and utter understanding for his children. She remembered Kon mentioning something in passing about how crafty the old man could be, and how full of surprises he was. Unfortunately, she was too busy to get to know this man better, and she was a bit disappointed about it.

Who knows, maybe her stay at Todai would only be brief. The area could be secured in a few weeks or months; she doubted she could stay for even a year. When that time comes, Rukia would be ordered to leave everything behind. Her new friends, the Kurosaki's, even Ichigo.

This may be the last time she would get to thank him, not only for letting her stay and treating her like family, but for Ichigo as well. If it wasn't for this funny man and his beloved wife, she might have never met Ichigo, her soul might have been destroyed, and Aizen might have taken Soul Society and the much-needed royal key to the house of Soul Society's king for himself.

Wordlessly, Rukia stepped closer and hugged Kurosaki Isshin. "Thank you for everything and I'll watch out for Ichigo for you, Kurosaki-dono…Uncle."

Isshin hugged the girl as well. "I told you to call me dad." He reminded her gently.

Rukia looked at him in confusion and was supposed to say something, but Isshin gently pushed her out the door.

"Go to your friends, Rukia-chan." He said gaily, returning to his usual, idiotic self in an instant "Ichigo will be down in a while; he's just busy doing… certain GUY THINGS. I think he has your picture with him" he added, with a suggestive wink.

Frowning in surprise, then feeling embarrassed at the implications, a red-faced Rukia walked on ahead quickly just as Ichigo rushed down the stairs. "Well, gotta go old man!"

Isshin grabbed him by the shoulder, "Don't forget to call Karin and Yuzu."

"Aa."

The two looked at each other for a while.

"See you on school break, pops."

"You better get good grades." Isshin warned. "No late night parties and women, you hear?"

"What the –

"If I hear anything, I mean ANYTHING happening to Rukia-chan, I'm gonna get you."

"Whatever." Ichigo said with a smirk as he walked ahead.

"Wait. Ichigo, take this." Isshin said as he slipped an old, miniscule cloth purse in his son's pocket.

"Damn it, old man, no more condoms!" Ichigo protested.

Before he could return the package to his father, Isshin pushed him out of the door. "BYE KIDS!" He shouted to his son's classmates who were waiting for Ichigo.

Keigo opened a window and shouted "Come on, we'll be late! We need to get to Todai! I want to see our campus as early as possible!"

"Asano-san." Mizuiro said, "You're not enrolled in Todai."

"What's with that polite talk?"

Isshin glanced at Ichigo. "That was your mother's." He said before he shut the door on his eldest child.

"Weird." Ichigo muttered as he looked at the door. He was finally going to college, he would be taking the step towards being an adult now, and the old man wouldn't be there to watch out for him. Wordlessly, he opened the string of the purse and carefully shook out its contents.

A small thing fell into his hand.

"Ichigo!" Rukia shouted. "What are you waiting for?"

He turned and looked at Rukia, meeting her glance straight on.

"Yeah, sorry 'bout that." He hollered back as he slipped the thing back in the purse and pocketed it carefully. His father can be really weird. Sprinting, he took off to ride the van to join his friends.

And somewhere as the van sped off with his son and his third daughter, a man named Kurosaki Isshin was patting himself on his shoulder and smiled to himself in congratulations. Everything will fall into place, that he was confident of.

Standing beside his wife's memorial portrait, Isshin nodded in satisfaction. "Don't worry Masaki," he said to the face in the picture, "Everything's going to turn out right for Ichigo. He'll be smiling more often now."

Why wouldn't it be, when he just gave Ichigo the ring he gave to Masaki when they became engaged?

"Mission: My Third Daughter's First Date; Success!"

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The End. For real.

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A/N: Whew! FINALLY, the very last part of My Third Daughter's First Date. This is my very first Bleach fanfict, the second I have ever finished, and also the FIRST that I was able to upload before I lost the draft! After several chapters that were so funny (yes, I got reviews of people who got shouted to, fell on chairs, and choked on food because they were laughing hard; my beta even got the snuffles at work – oops! At home I mean!) it was really my intention to let you all read something a bit serious here, so you guys can at least see that I'm not that crazy, yet. But I am, I assure you. Ugh, something tells me I'm not good in ending stuff... probably because I was distracted with the fluff-bunnies all wanting attention.

I really didn't want the story to end, but I had to. Sometimes, things just have to end or you'll end up rambling. I feel really sad that this one hell of a ride is officially concluded. Seven funny and well-reviewed chapters, not bad for my FIRST Bleach fan fiction. I can't believe that I finished it too! I initially wanted it to end on a funny line or something, but I felt at the last moment that ending it on this ambiguous and bittersweet note was the best course. This has been an incredible experience and I've met people who really knew how to show appreciation. Guys, you know who you are.

To all fellow Ichi-Ruki fans: May we live to continue to inspire each other with great IchiRuki stories, with lemons or otherwise (Isshin says he hopes to see more lemons, let's indulge the old man, shall we?); and may Kubo finally see the light and write MANY, MANY fluffy interactions between our favorite pair.

For my beta (who still has LOST her password), thank you for the encouragement and for the praises. Yeah, you'll get your IshiHime fix soon, I promise. Just not before the IchiRuki one, ok?

Once again, I do not own Bleach, Kubo does.

(C. LeShay respectfully bows)

Thank You!

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Preview of C. LeShay's NEXT IchiRuki fanfiction (a sequel of sorts for My Third Daughter's First Date):

Sex For Dummies

Ichigo and Rukia finally get engaged. Deciding that the two are too clueless for their own good, their friends decide to help prepare them for their much-anticipated wedding night.

Beware of well-meaning friends.

Everyone waited with baited breath at what the decision of the Kuchiki noble might be. Would he finally give in and allow his sister to marry one of the strongest and good-looking heroes that ever graced Soul Society? Or would Kurosaki Ichigo be sent home to the living world in a small box?

Isshin glared at his son for a while. "Do I detect frustration in your tone Ichigo? Is my dear third daughter withholding sexual favors? Is there trouble in paradise? No libido from being too stressed out at work? Can't get it up?"

What was his father expecting, that he tore off Rukia's clothing and made wild, loud, and passionate love to her in Soul Society? Where her brother – who is by the way, scary as hell – is? Ichigo was NOT stupid.

"Tatsuki-chan, why do you think that I'm joking! We're dealing about the future children of Kurosaki-kun and Kuchiki-san here, this is no laughing matter!" Though her face was flushed and red, Inoue continued on. "Kurosaki-san is so worried about his son; I'm sure that Kurosaki-kun's sisters are also wishing for a young nephew or niece to spoil and pamper! This is a tragedy, if the eggs and the sperm ... we can help prepare Kuchiki-san about the painful, uncomfortable, horrifying, and scaring thing that is her wedding night!"

"This is probably the juiciest piece of gossip I have ever heard; ever since that bath house incident involving Nanao and Kyoraku Taicho." Matsumoto said as she shook with barely controlled laughter. "Can you imagine, one of the most popular and sought-after bachelors both in Soul Society and here, is a VIRGIN?"

"Ichigo needs our help!" Keigo said, raising his fist in the air.

Ishida shook his head. "Heaven help Kurosaki." Muttered Ishida as they all just looked at Keigo.