Hey guys! I haven't updated in FOREVAH because…… I didn't want to.
Deal with it. You all have my friend Arin to thank for the update, tho'. She's the one who hounded me incessantly to finished this god-fuh-freakin' fic. I may have had no ideas as to what to write for this segment/chapter/installment, but then I went to the local Nekocon and found some bitchin' ideas. It was my first con. Most of the things that happen in this chapter are things that actually happened at Nekocon. Seriously. No lie.
Disclaimer: If I owned either Artemis Fowl or Loveless………… then……….ummmm…. QUICK, LOOK! A DISTRACTION!
"Where…. Where are your pants?" asked Butler, jaw agape.
"In the dressing room with the rest of my stuff, where else would they be?"
"I don't know, on YOU?????"
"Jeebus, take the stick out."
"Yeah! If the little lady wants to go around with no pants, no complaints he-" the Dark cosplayer went down with a fist in the left side of his face.
"Well, I'm entering, whether you like it or not! And hell if I don't win!"
"You are NOT entering! What would mother say?" Butler argued.
"She would say that I was a lot cooler than you!" Juliet glared. Butler continued to fight back, despite the fact that Juliet was probably right about their Mum.
"Butler." Artemis said. Both Butlers stopped dead. "Think. It may not be in your best interest to let Juliet compete, but think. We have 5 hours left to kill before we have to leave, right, Holly?" Holly nodded at them all, looking decidedly bored. Since this was a convention, after all, she could go around without getting too many funny looks. The weirdest of the weird congregated here. She tried not to look at Juliet much, considering that her distinct lack of height gave her a fabulous view of what little was worn under the thin jacket Juliet was wearing. "I suggest that we let her do what she pleases. Besides, she'll regret it later if it wasn't worth it. It'll lighten the boredom."
"And besides, Juliet-san is the only person in history who could probably pull that look off," Ritsuka said. It was one of the first times he'd spoken in a long time. This drew all attention to him, including that of Caoimhe.
She frowned. "Are you a cosplayer, too? Who are you supposed to be? Because you look familiar…" she murmured. Everyone stiffened.
"Ah… No! I mean, yes! I'm cosplaying as… um, Ritsuka! From-"
"Loveless! Fabulous! I'm him, too! You forgot the ears, tho'!" Caoimhe smiled warmly. The incredible blush from Ritsuka did not go unnoticed. "And you must be Soubi-kun," she said, suddenly turning to Soubi. He nodded.
Deathglares were still being exchanged between the siblings.
"So what's your real name?" Caoimhe asked.
Ritsuka, despite being a good person with an active conscience, was also a very accomplished liar. "It's Moses."
"Like Moses, Prince of Egypt stuff?"
"Exactly," Ritsuka smiled. Artemis smiled, too. He knew exactly why Ritsuka had picked that particular name.
"Oh! Look! Dippin' Dots! I want some! Hey Juliet-chan, mind if I go grab some?" she asked, already jogging away.
"No," Juliet growled, still glaring at her brother. She realized what had been said and broke eye contact. "Wait! Get me some!!!!" Caoimhe was already long gone. "Damn it," she muttered. "I'll be right back. This isn't over." Juliet pointed her finger up at her brother in a threatening way and ran after her friend and the alluring prospect of ice cream that looked weird no matter how many times you had seen it before.
"Nice," Artemis commented. "'Ritsu' in Japanese is something like 'commandment', no? Commandment became the Ten Commandments of Judaism and the prophet who delivered them, Moses. Once more, nice."
"Thanks," Ritsuka grinned. "My whole name means something along the lines of 'summer (or spring)-something-or-other' but what kind of guy has a name like 'Summer', y'know?"
"That I do," Artemis sighed. "'Artemis' is the name of a Greek goddess. Don't think people haven't commented on that."
"Yay for girly names." Both boys sighed respectively.
My name is Caoimhe. I make the weirdest friends EVER. It just so happens that I meet them all in pretty weird places. You'd think that I'd learn by now, and stop going to such weird places. But weird places are interesting places. For example, if that person I had seen not two minutes ago wasn't the REAL Ritsuka, I'd eat my own cat. And I love Anubis TO DEATH. Figuratively speaking, of course. One does wonder how he lost the ears, tho'.
'Member how I said weird stuff happens? Yeah. Weird shit likes me, and seems to think it's damn funny to make me think stuff is normal (the forbidden word!), and then shoot me down, laughing all the while. Sound odd? There you go. Let me tell you a little story about my day today:
The Dippin' Dots stand in an anime convention, no matter what or where the con is, will be busy. This was particularly true this particular day, at this particular time. You see, the person employed for part-time management of the stand was also an anime fan, which was of course why they had signed up for this job in the first place. He had been delighted at the opportunity to go and had planned this for ages. His favourite character of all time had to be Itachi from Naruto, so of course that was whom he was cosplaying as. That was a given. He had black hair to start out with, so that helped. It was also hippie-length. Extra bonus points. All he needed was the cloak and the headband and the ring. Nail polish he had at home. That was good, as the stupid Dippin' Dots part-time paid absolute crap, anyway.
The poor Dippin' Dots part-timer was unaware of what yaoi was, and could really care less, being a boy and all. Boys usually find that sort of thing….. gross. Losers.
All except for the Sasuke cosplayer who had been eyeballing the Itachi for a good portion of the day. The Sasuke had guts, if nothing else. And besides, he was at Yaoicon. If you don't put on a show, you don't get noticed. (Actually, kind of true. Unless you're a REALLY good cosplayer. Then you get noticed a lot more.)
The Sasuke walked up to the Itachi and pushed him against a wall, kissing him as hard as he could.
Dead silence. Ever single Naruto cosplayer's head had turned toward the little stand in unison. Pulling out various fists, feet, kunai, and shuriken, half of them leaped at Itachi. The other half were busy trying to carry off the Sasuke cosplayer, most likely to publicly molest him. SasuNaru IS a pretty popular pairing. I'm a fan, myself. Which would be why I was cheering the brawls on. Hey, Itachi isn't my favourite character. Whatevs. I should have known better.
The fight broke out in such an explosive power, it was hard to believe that it was really happening. Okay, that was after the lone tray of fries sailed majestically over the room. Thank God that this particular room was specifically designated for eating and no merchandise was present. That would've been downright blasphemous had any desecrated its holiness. I think the giant banana started it. I don't trust bananas much; I'm allergic. Well, not really. But I pretend I am. Anything artificially flavoured like banana sucks, y'know? He must've been getting revenge on that apple from the Fruit of the Loom commercials for stealing his woman, Papaya. You know it's true. Well, back to the storyline.
My friend Juliet popped out from the crowd armed with her fists and a large tray, which she used like a shield to ward off blows of fists and food alike. She was coming to protect me! Yay. I can't protect my own sorry bum worth crap.
"Caoimhe-chan! Did you see?" she asked excitedly.
"I did! Could this con get any better?"
"Nope!" she shouted. I still couldn't hear her very well. "Whaddya say I clear you a path, huh?"
"You can do that?"
"'Cause, y'know, I'm a-MA-zing like that," she said. She grabbed my hand and tried to lead me away.
"Where do you think YOU'RE going, pretty?" one of the guys hissed. His friends surrounded us. They all looked pretty hammered, wasted, shitfaced, etc.
But I had forgotten, once again, and to my eternal shame, why I had suggested that Juliet dress up like Kuro-chan from Black God. And the reason for that, my friend, is because dearest Juliet can use her fists like nobody's business. I hadn't really seen her in action before, but I finally got a chance. All I can say is… wow. Holy mother of Muffins.
"Ah!" Juliet gasped.
"A-are you hurt?" I asked. I was seriously concerned. Overexertion wasn't something to be laughed at.
"No…. but we forgot to get the ice cream!" she wailed, miserable. I wonder how on earth I could've thought, even for an instant, that Juliet Butler might get herself hurt. If there had been a large wall or something hard and unforgiving, I would've beaten my head against it. My palm made do.
The crowd cleared for us, a good number of them bearing food stains (small ones, anime freaks have good reflexes, from video games, you see) like war badges. They looked frightened, as well they should've been. Suddenly, they started clapping. They were fiercely cheering my friend on. So was I.
The only bad thing about it all was that the cosplay contest being cancelled. There were too many contestants covered in pink Gatorade or something equally gross. But the giant trophy for the winner had to go somewhere, so it went straight to Juliet, by unanimous vote. I wasn't too surprised, somehow.
Artemis shook his head. Only Juliet could win something that she hadn't even gotten a chance to apply for. At least both Butlers were (relatively) happy. Caoimhe was beside herself. Her eyes were what worried him. Artemis would bet his stash of filched faerie technology that she had a good idea of exactly who Ritsuka and Soubi were.
Holly nudged Artemis. She was much stronger than she (or anyone else) realized, so he was certain that her pointy little elbow would leave a painful and multi-coloured mark.
"Did you see them?" she asked quietly.
"Them?" Artemis said, indicating Caoimhe and Ritsuka and the looks they occasionally accidentally shared.
"No, idjit. Them." Holly said.
Artemis looked for the people in the crowd that Holly's finger followed. One had mint-green hair that went almost down to his waist. He walked strangely close to another boy, one with curly reddish-brown hair that went slightly past his shoulders. How on earth did I know they were boys? They're androgynous, if anything…Artemis thought. But he knew what Holly had wanted him to see. Each had ears and tails that perfectly matched their hair colour. They didn't really look false, either. One also had an eyepatch over one eye (where else would one wear them); a combat veteran if Artemis had ever seen one.
"Ah," he muttered. "Them. Should I inform Butler?"
"They're magical. I just get that feeling from them. It's like electricity, or something. Lemme eavesdrop, and then we see what we're dealing with. Then we ask Butler old boy to pull of the HK MP 5." She received a questioning look from Artemis. "It's a nice gun, trust me. Reeeeeeeal shiny, too." He rolled his eyes, looking like a real teenager for all of half a second.
Holly slipped away to her eavesdropping, and Artemis let her.
His view of her was suddenly blocked my an overly-cheerful Demyx and Zexion from Kingdom Hearts singing as they walked:
"Happy Peanuts Soar
Over chocolate-covered mountaintops
Prancing nougat in the meadow
Sings a song of satisfaction tooooooo
"The world?" Artemis muttered to himself, slightly disturbed by the obvious show of affection between these two men, who were equally obviously queer.
"That's right," Demyx winked and continued strumming his sitar. "You look like you ate something yucky. Try THIS!" The cosplayer produced a stick of gum from heaven-knows-where.
Artemis sniffed it for Anthrax before popping it in his mouth. It was minty.
"For a good clean feeling, no matter what." He shimmied his shoulders suggestively. Artemis was only slightly more scarred by this than he had been by shooting his own father (not seriously, of course, but still, traumatizing).
Ritsuka saw and correctly interpreted the look on Artemis's face.
"Homophobic?" he asked. It was something to worry about, considering that he and Soubi were probably gay.
"No. Only when strange people I don't know give me gum and quote commercials."
"Ah," Ritsuka said. It was an understandable plight. "Where did Holly-san go?"
Artemis had been feeling very off today, and he knew it. That didn't stop him from making a stupid mistake. He looked over to where Holly was. Had she still been there, he would've had to lie. Lying does a person little good when the person whom you are lying to sees that your eyes went straight to the subject of your lie. Had she still been there, of course. "Holly?" he gasped, slight fear clutching his ribs. He crushed that with professional ease. Holly knew what she was doing. Had nothing taught him that? With out realizing it, his hand moved to the inside of his wrist, where the word Sparkless still shone slightly.
"Ritsuka-kun, I cannot help you there. I haven't the slightest idea where she's gone, but have a little faith. Captain Short is more than capable of handling herself amongst humans."
Looking at the shadows in Artemis's face, Ritsuka wondered, just for an instant, which of them Artemis was really trying to comfort. Such thoughts were interrupted as Soubi attempted to grope him again.
Erm, hey, guys! I know it's been…. Well, months since I last updated, but…. I've been busy, okay?!
Arin: Yeah, right. Like laying on your arse and doing but doodling for that deviantart account of yours is 'busy'.
Me: Oh, shut up.
Arin: Speaking of shutting up, when will you start working on Chapter 6? Now? That's a great idea! BACK TO THE WORD DOCUMENTS, MY TYPING MONKEY!!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!
Me: Someone kill me. And what does shutting up have to do with the next chapter?
Arin: We'll find out, now won't we?
Arin: Don't worry. If you don't piss me off, I'll be merciful.
Me: Why does that sound inappropriate?
Arin: POST, DAMMIT!!!!!
Yeah. Anyway, please review!!!! For every time you read, enjoy, and don't review, a….. Brynna… dies…. Somewhere…..yeah. POPULISM.