She couldn't breathe! He was on top of her! Oh GOD NO! NOT AGAIN! She fought and struggled and for some reason he had forgotten to tie her down this time, she screamed at him that she wouldn't allow it to happen again, she kicked out using her powerful leg muscles to lever herself off the bed and him off with her, as she hit the floor with him under her she woke up!
"Oh god Jack! Oh God!" oh how screwed up could she be? She had just thrown the only man to really love her off herself and onto the floor, she tried to get up, but he had a tight hold of her and wouldn't let go, his arms and legs wrapped around her and he was telling her she was safe, that he was sorry, that he had never meant to hurt her. She shuddered and calmed down, he relaxed his hold as soon as she relaxed her muscles. And while she was shaking still he managed to get them both back into bed and he held her tight to his chest.
"Want to tell me what that bastard did to you?" he asked, gently, she shook her head, "Well, I know better than to wake you like that again" he laughed slightly, "I should just go back to the oral sex should I?"
She looked at him amazed. He wasn't angry, he wasn't worried, he wasn't upset that she had reacted like that? No that wasn't quite true, he WAS upset, but FOR her not AT her, a huge difference. She settled into his embrace again, the one place she felt safe, and he stroked her hair, his heart back to its normal slow rhythm.
"Jonas" she said, eventually
"I guessed" he told her "but I thought you had been raped by the bastard, that's why I was so shocked at you still being a virgin"
"He, he…" her mouth was dry, would he still want her if he found out? That she had been used like that? He had thought she had been raped and had taken a chance on her… she really didn't know what to do.
"S'ok love you will tell me when you are ready" he told her, but she knew she had to tell him before they married, that way if it was too much for him to cope with he could get out before he got in, so to speak.
In a low voice she told him the full tale, from meeting him at Peterson, through losing all her friends and right up to that night. She managed the first meeting fine, but then she sat up and wrapped her arms around her knees and told him of the second one. She held herself stiff as she told him the little she knew of what had happened, and then of her coming around in the hospital and what Janet had told her had happened.
"So you see, he had his satisfaction, he tore my insides to shreds, and left me intact so I could hurt all over again later." She couldn't face him, she couldn't see the disgust in his eyes, she got out of bed and headed for the bathroom, not sure if she needed a shower to wash off the memory, or the toilet to vomit into.
He was there, holding her, magnificent and strong and solid, and he told her he loved her, and that he understood how she felt. She shook her head, he couldn't understand, he raised her face to his own once more and kissed her deeply, he manoeuvred her back to the bed and lay beside her while he told her of his days as a PoW in an Iraqi prison, he didn't go into a lot of detail, but it was obvious that he DID understand her sense of shame and guilt, for something she could not have prevented, and she felt an outpouring of love for this man, who usually kept everything so tightly hidden and was willing to relive his old pain to help ease hers.
She settled into sleep once again when they had talked for a couple of hours, emotionally exhausted, and praying that he would not one day wake to realise what a poor deal he had made, getting only her for all he was giving.
The Fucking bastard! It was a good job he had died as he had because if he had had a body somewhere Jack would have dug him up and put him in a sarcophagus just so he could torture him to death again! He looked at the woman asleep on his chest and wondered at how she had managed to trust HIM of all people after that bastard had done THAT to her!
Jack knew he had a dark side and he knew she now knew for definite that he had been in black ops, how the hell could she trust him after seeing what a twisted sick bastard it had turned Hanson into. Maybe it hadn't been the ops that had twisted him, knowing the way certain higher ups thought it was always possible that the reason they employed him was because he was sick!
There were usually two general types that made it to covert ops, the cold blooded killers, the ones who could do it and even if they screamed through their nights for ever more, would do it again if ordered, he was that type.
Then there were the ones that somehow got into the forces past all the psyc tests and then later were discovered to be unbalanced. Those types were usually sent on solo jobs, not team ones, because they were expected to die quickly. He guessed Hanson was that sort. It was always possible that if it was not for Charlie that Hanson would have been brought into the first Abydos mission. In that case he would have detonated the bomb as soon as he could and everyone on the planet would have died, including Daniel, Kawalsky and Ferretti. Luckily while he had been suicidal at the time, he had still listened to reason and Skaara and the rest of the kids were only really a small part, it was Daniel he had to thank really for saving him from himself.
He stopped thinking of the past and started thinking of the future. His whole plan hinged on the fact that he had been recalled to active duty twice, at least once against medical advice. He hoped Sam would go along with his plan, to get married and keep it quiet until such a time as it was uncovered, at which point they could produce the marriage certificate and he could quit once again, or retire, he didn't really care, because he KNEW they couldn't touch HER!
He knew better than anyone anywhere just how much time she had dedicated to that project and that base, and even if they tried to demote, her she could leave and go into her own business, they would HAVE to employ her, and for a hell of a lot more than an AF Captains salary as well, so they wouldn't do it. It would all fall on him, though he would not tell her that particular part of the plan, and she was sooo worth it! He looked at her again and smiled. GOD how had he got this lucky? And he hoped to god she never realised what a poor deal she got for what she gave.
Mrs Smith's view
It was a lovely service, a little chapel off the main route, her husband and herself running it, she took the pictures, he said the words, and they had a couple of regulars who would sign as witnesses in case people forgot to bring their own. The couple looked good together, as she remarked to one of the usual crowd, camera in hand. Both tall, both good looking, and both with a slight military air, not that THAT was unusual, with such a large AFB just up the road a ways. He wore a dark grey suit, she a short white dress, and their rings had a strange engraving on them, like a V with a circle underneath it. They kissed with a passion that made HER blush as her husband sealed them together for all time (she was old fashioned like that, didn't believe in divorce, even with a Vegas wedding chapel she hoped it would mean forever).
She snapped away and told them the album would be complete before nightfall, or they could pick it up the next day if they preferred, they told her they would try to make it back that evening, and gave her a $50 tip and asked her to call their cells in a couple of days if they had not been to collect it. "If we haven't got out of bed by that time" the handsome young man told his new wife. She blushed, such a sweet thing to see in this day and age of no shame.
They walked out of the door, in step, showing that they actually WERE both military, there was no trying to fall into pace, it was automatic, and they did it while laughing at something.
"He's a bit older than her" her husband said from behind her as she watched them walk slowly down the street.
"All souls are the same age," she said, "you just have to find the one you have to travel though life with, it doesn't matter what year you were born"
"You're a silly old romantic" he told her, probably for the ten thousandth time since they moved to Vegas and set up the chapel
"And you are the fool who loves me," she gave her usual reply, and closed the doors for the evening.