Title: His Hobby

For: LJ community scrubsfichallng #4: I'm Not Cleaning That

Author: Kipli

Email: Kipli at livejournal dot com

Series: Scrubs

Pairing: GEN with minor-Cox/JD

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: Not my 'verse. They just talk to me.

Summary: The Janitor expounds on his Scooter tormenting hobby... only to lose it.

Notes: Silliness while my net was down. Not necessarily in the same 'verse as my other stuff. Short and simple. )


His Hobby


I like to follow Scooter around. You know, track his movements. Get to know where he likes to go and when. Not only is it fun--because hey what else do I have to do around here, clean?--but it helps me plan out and stage a number of 'surprises' for him. Booby traps are very difficult to plant if you don't know where your subject will be at any given moment.

Hey, everyone has to have a hobby. And seeing him scramble away from me like a little animal is a nice dose of stress relief. Stress from what, you might ask? I will have you know that these floors are very demanding co-workers. They take and they take and they never give back. Well, except for one. Third floor, west wing. Ah, Carlos. He's a good man, er, floor.

Anywho, I like to be sure Scooter hasn't changed his habits on me, so I make it a point to track him at varying points of the day, each day of the week. Just for small amounts of time. Never long enough for him to notice my presence. I don't want him to change his habits on account of my being there.

He's had a fairly set and predictable schedule for a while now. Baring any catastrophe happening in the hospital, he does pretty much the same thing each day, no matter when he starts his shift. Which is weird, because he still eats breakfast when he comes in for a night shift, even though it's dinner time. Or well, a muffin anyway. That's considered a breakfast food, right?

He usually spends the first half of his shift getting reacquainted with his patients, talking to Blonde Doctor and Scary Nurse Lady, following up with his patients, and getting snarled at by Mean Doctor. Sometimes Scooter catches me when I accidentally laugh at Mean Doctor's brilliant verbal harassment of him but I can't help myself. The man is a master of what he does. I just have to be careful not to draw Mean Doctor's attention to myself. That can spell trouble.

As for the latter half of his day, he usually collects all the results from his testing, giggles and gal pals with Baldie, gives out whatever news he has to his patients, and gets snarled at again by Mean Doctor before being dragged off by him to see to something he didn't do right the first time.

I don't usually stick around Scooter for very long when Mean Doctor is nearby. For one, Scooter is getting plenty of punishment at that moment and, except for the rare occasion, needs no more britches shrinking right then. And for another, as I said before, it is Trouble with a capital T to gain Mean Doctor's focus. My policy of calling my recon missions short whenever Mean Doctor was around only affected about fifteen, maybe twenty percent of my missions. A minor blow. Until lately.

Every time I start to trail Scooter when he's alone, Mean Doctor inevitably shows up. They banter. Mean Doctor does his usual name calling. And then they disappear behind closed doors: elevators, patient rooms, supply closets, you name it. It would take me a good portion of my days usually to find Scooter again, and he was usually still around Mean Doctor. I chalked it up to bad luck for the first few disappearing acts. After all, the hunt was not always successful.

But then... I was up on the third floor, east wing. Chonci. Not nearly as polite and helpful as Carlos. Anyway, I was on my knees scrubbing at a stain that was either dried coffee or dried feces, and from the smell of it, I really wasn't sure either way. Chonci was not cooperating either as it wasn't coming up easy. I'd stayed late to work at it till it did come up.That's when I heard Scooter's distinctive giggle from around the corner and slightly down the hallway. Ah, perfect! A wet brown stain for him into slide over. Finally, I'd get my surprise in on him this week. And I hadn't even planned it out!

Only, his giggling stopped and I could hear the distinct sound of ruffling clothing. Had he hooked up with another overly desperate nurse? A low moan from him had me sliding forward on my knees to peek around the corner.

The image will be forever burned into my brain and I'd... I'd rather not describe it in so much detail. Sufficient to say, Mean Doctor was not currently at that moment being mean to Scooter, though he had him pinned up against the side-corridor's wall.

So, this was why they were always around each other now, why I couldn't find any moments of Scooter alone.

Damn it all!

When they broke apart, I jerked my head back around the corner.

What with this new development, I'll have no opportunity at all to 'surprise' Scooter if he's always with Mean Doctor.

Sneaky. Very sneaky, my friend.

Still hoping to catch them off guard, I slid back and left the wet stain in their path. But as they rounded the corner, Mean Doctor grabbed Scooter by the waist and pulled him up and away from the wet spot. "Watch it now, Newbie"

Scooter blushed as he noticed me and my glare. But then my glare was spotted by Mean Doctor and he stopped them, keeping his hold around Scooter. "Lurch! Better find a new hobby... This one's taken"

All I could do was smile at them as they turned away. "What was that, sir? A new hobby? Why I have plenty of hobbies"

Mean Doctor just waved back at me as they walked away.

So now... I'm really pretty bored. A new crop of interns doesn't arrive until the fall. I tried to resume my recon missions on Scooter but he is always with Mean Doctor now and Mean Doctor always notices when I'm around.

Maybe I could take up International High Stakes Scrabble...