Say What You Will

Summary: Grissom looks back on his life. Yes, it is a character death, but it takes place way into the future.

Author's Note: I fell in love with this song and have not been able to get it out of my head since I heard it a few months ago. This idea has been banging around in my head for almost as long. Also, I want to say a huge thank you to Mingsmommy and Smacky30 for their amazing beta skills on this. One doesn't like song fics and one doesn't like character deaths, but they read it anyway, and that means a lot to me. Thank you both so much.

Disclaimer: I do not own CSI, and the song is 'Say What You Will' as sung by Damhnait Doyle. If you have the chance, check it out.


Say What You Will

For a moment he wondered why he was here. There was no mystery to what had happened, at least not to him, but apparently no one else knew for sure. As his body was poked and prodded he let his memories transport him to another place, a better place; home.

If I were to die today my life would be more then okay
For the time that I spent with you
Its like a dream come true

Home was where his wife would be. He knew her well enough to know that she'd be holding herself together because there were things to do. By now she would have called their son. Maybe he's even on a flight home now, coming home to be with his mother, even if he no longer considers Las Vegas his home. Currently Michael considers Ann Arbor, or at least The University of Michigan Hospital where he's a second year resident, home.

His son; the child he never expected to have a child at all. In truth, the boy was the result of a defective condom, and more than twenty-five years later Grissom could honestly say he has never been happier about a defective product.

He found fatherhood to be the most rewarding part of his life. He was lucky; Michael was a good kid. He never really rebelled like many of the teenagers Grissom met through work, he always made the honor roll, and he inherited his parents' minds for science.

Michael wasn't entirely like his parents though. He seemed to be popular throughout school. He was out nearly every Friday and Saturday night, and when he came home to visit, he always had a long list of people he must see before leaving town. Even with his busy social life, he always made time for his family. He called every few days, and was never late with birthday or anniversary cards. In fact he had called earlier that morning, surprising his father with some news.

If this was a last goodbye
No more tears to dry
I would say it one more time

"Dad, she's a grad student who volunteers in the oncology ward." By the excitement in his son's voice Grissom knew that he had been waiting to tell his parents about this woman. "She's beautiful," he continued, "And smart, and funny."

"That's a tough combination to beat," Grissom was so happy for his son.

"I know, Dad." Through the phone Grissom heard him take a breath, "I think she might be the one."

"Really?" Grissom was taken aback, even though Michael was in his twenties, he would always be his father's little boy.

"Yeah, I do." He could hear the smile on his son's face.

"Well, I'm happy for you, Son." He thought for a second, "I'm actually envious of you."

"You are?" Michael was surprised to hear this coming from his father.

"Yes, you know what you have and you're not running from it. It took me entirely too long to realize the same thing."

Michael laughed. "Dad, Mom forgave you years ago. Look, I gotta go. I'm due at the hospital in twenty minutes."

"Alright, I'll talk to you later."

"Bye Dad."

"Bye…uh Michael?"

"Yeah?" He could hear Michael rattling his keys through the phone.

"I love you, and I'm proud of you."

"We both are," a voice called out from somewhere near his father.

"Thanks Dad, I love you too. Give Mom a kiss for me."

"I will," his father responded before the line clicked dead.

He had just started the car when he saw her approach. He rolled down the passenger window and she leaned in. "What did I forget this time?"

"Checkbook," she waved the vinyl covered book at him.

"What would I do without you?" He reached for the checkbook through the window.

"You'd embarrass yourself at the bank and the pharmacy," she playfully mocked.

"Well thank you for saving me from myself. Yet again," he played along. "I'll be back in an hour."

"Wait," she spoke as she pulled the door open and sat on the seat next to him.

"Coming with me?" He was surprised, she had just spent breakfast talking about a massive spring cleaning project.

"No," she shook her head, and then smiled the smile that melted his heart. He watched as she licked her lips, leaned in and captured his mouth with hers. Sara pulled away first, "There'll be more where that came from when you get home." Before he could reply she was out the door, but turned once more and waved.

"I love you," he called to her before pulling out of the drive.

He owed her so much, his life in fact, because without her his life would not have been anywhere near as fulfilling as it had. They had been together for nearly thirty years and she could still make his heart race and his palms sweat. For a younger man that would be a good thing, but at his age it could be hazardous, but well worth the risk.

About ten minutes later he was nearing the bank when he began to sweat. He took his handkerchief out to wipe his brow. With his arm still in the air the pain struck his chest.

It happened so fast that he wasn't even conscious when his car jumped the curb and ran into a mailbox.

If I were to die today my life would be more then okay