I don't own the X-Files
I must admit, this is not one of my better stories, didn't come out like I had planned, but I really didn't know where to take it. This is mean to be funny, and I suck at funny. So please be gentle on reviewing. I have to admit though for not know where I was headed I like where I landed. Please review and let me know what you all think. Thanks to Gillian Dana for offering some help, it didn't come out like planned.
The sun was peaking in through the windows and as Mulder attempted to open his eyes he found it hard and immediately shut them. His head was pounding and just the thought of the bright light made his head throb. Carefully, Mulder moved onto his side, away from the incoming light and looked to the clock. The digital device at his side read ten fifteen, and he thanked god it was Saturday. As he sat up in bed, after a few failed attempts, he found himself alone in a messed up bed wearing a short black blouse and a small skirt that barely made it up his hips.
Mulder quickly got out of the bed and ran into the bathroom to see his full self in the mirror. From what he could make out he had on red lipstick, eye shadow and some blush. The black blouse looked fairly familiar and the matching black skirt rang a bell or two, once he hoped would stop soon. They did little for his headache. Half awake and still a little dizzy from what he didn't know, Mulder made his way out of his bedroom and into the living room where upon exiting the bedroom door he found two feet lying on the floor. The feet were bare and connected to a pair of legs that he slowly followed with his eyes, until he hit the sofa and the rest of the body disappeared.
He slowly made his way over to the body that lay on his living room floor and stopped when he saw who they belonged to. There, laying in his living room, was his partner. She was laying on her stomach in a pair of his boxers and an old shirt he wore to bed on some nights. In her arms was a bottle of tequila, at the side of her head were a few limes that looked to have fallen off the coffee table and as he looked down he found salt all over the place.
"Scully!" He called loudly enough for her to hear him, but soft enough not to hurt his head. She gave a soft moan before turning her head and falling back into her sleep. "Scully!" He called a little louder giving her foot a small nudge.
"I accept the Nobel Prize for the cure for Stupidity, but I did not do it alone." She said in her sleep, her words slurred by the alcohol, from what he could tell there was only an eight of the bottle left and something told him the bottle was full when they had first started drinking it.
"SCULLY! WAKE UP!" He said regretting having to yell, but was satisfied when she turned on her back and opened her eyes to look up at him.
"Oh look, if it ain't Mr. Spooky Mulder himself." She said half drunk. She gave him a small smile before lifting the bottle to her lips and downed the rest of the liquid, she then picked up a lime and sucked on it before dropping it to her side and looked up at him again. "You want to know what I think about cheese?"
"Not really." Mulder said bending over to offer her his hand. She graciously took it and got off the floor.
"You see, I think cheese is this thing people use to fling at people." She rambled on as she rested on his chest to help her gain her balance. Obviously a hang over was in the line of question for her, at least not yet. "And then people get this cheese and throw it at a camera." She was silent for a while before looking him in the eyes and started to laugh.
"What's so funny?" He asked watching as she laughed in his arms.
"You are too cute. You know that?" She asked patting her hand across his cheek. "You are just too cute. I would say you have the best taste in clothes too." He looked down and noticed he was still wearing the female clothes and realized that they were hers.
"Scully? I need you to remember, why are we wearing each others clothes?" He asked, his throbbing headache long gone, he was faced with the uncertainty of the previous night.
"You don't remember G man?" She asked squeezing his cheek between her thumb and fore finger. He shook his head and watched as she opened her mouth to speak. "Bathroom!" She called running out of his embrace and into his bathroom where she could be heard puking her guts out.
"Scully? Are you ok?" He asked rushing after her to hold her hair back as she emptied her stomach.
"Fine." She said lifting her head up.
After a few minutes in the bathroom and they changed into their normal clothes they sat on the couch drinking coffee trying to sober themselves up. The Advil had taken some effect, but not by much.
"So what the hell happened last night?" Mulder asked curiously.
"My guess is, we got drunk." She said holding the empty bottle of tequila up. "With as much as we drank, we better consider ourselves lucky for not having alcohol poisoning."
"But why on earth did we drink so much?"
"Shh…Don't yell." Scully said covering her ears.
A few hours had passed and small talk had been made, Scully lay on the floor again, only this time Mulder lay next to her. They talked of anything that came to their mind, hoping by some off chance they could remember why they had drank so much and why they had woken up in the others clothes.
"Do you think we did something last night we may regret?"
"No. I mean if we did we would have woken up in the same bed with no clothes on at all."
"But what if we did?"
"Then I guess we'll never know, we've worked together for six years now. What we don't know might kill us, but I think in this case it really doesn't matter."
"Do you really mean that?" Mulder asked a bit hurt.
"No." She said, little emotion could be heard in her voice, but he knew her and he knew she felt bad for even mentioning what she had said. They lay in silence for a while before they groaned in unison as a phone went off. "Scully." She said into her phone but pulled it away as a voice yelled from the other end.
"HAPPY NEW YEAR!"
"Mom?" Scully asked curiously.
"Yes, Dana. Who else would it be?"
"Ghost of Christmas' yet to come?" Scully asked softly.
"Honey, did you drink last night?" Her mother asked worried.
"A little." She lied looking over to Mulder as he looked to her oddly as he grabbed her hand and held it in his.
"Are you enjoying the year 1999?" Her mother asked again.
"So far?" She questioned, but chose not to answer.
"Oh, I better go, my little grandson found where I hid the chocolate chips. Bye."
"Bye mom." Scully said laughing as she heard her mom calling out to the young boy before she hung the phone up. "Happy New Years Mulder."
"Is it 1999 already?" He asked lifting his head up to look her in the eyes, they had been lying on the floor for over three hours and it was almost one thirty. They had drank enough coffee out run the energizer bunny and some how managed to sober up a bit. For the rest of the day they had given up on trying to figure out what had happened the night before and had decided to spend the rest of the day inside and away from all the noise while they still managed to et over their horrible hangovers. As far as they could care, the previous night could remain a mystery.
The previous night:
Mulder looked to the clock that told him it was passed ten as a knock on his door sounded. He walked over to the sound and once opening the door he found his partner standing there, in one hand was a bag of limes, and a full thing of salt, in the other was a large full bottle of tequila.
"Hey Mulder." She smiled. "Care to spend the New Years with a friend?"
"Who? You or the bottle?" He joked.
"Sure, why not come on in." Mulder moved out of her way and allowed her in the door.
That night as the clock stroke down to midnight, Mulder and Scully took shots of the tequila. By one O'clock in the morning, they were three quarters of the way done with the bottle. Mulder had offered her to spend the night, seeing as how she was to drunk to drive, she took his offer and followed him into the bedroom where he offered her his clothes to sleep in. after changing she asked him to try on her clothes, being drunk as he already was, he agreed easily and came out of the bathroom wearing her clothes. After a while she had him sitting on the lid of the toilet seat as she carefully placed make up on his face. Not too long after drinking more of the liquor, she ended up passing out on the floor while he made his way to his bed.