"What would you do if I would die?"

"What a pleasant thought, Padfoot."

"Just answer the question."



"Is there something you're not telling us? Are you sick?"


"Then why are you asking?"

"Because I want to know what happens when I die."

"That's truly depressing, Sirius."

"Come on! Are you going to throw my body into the ocean? Bury me at a beach? Put me in a shiny coffin and mourn over me with daisies? What are you going to do?"

"I don't know, Padfoot."

"Then think about it."



"Well what?"

"Have you thought about it?"

"You gave me two seconds."

"I know. But you never told me how long it would take you to think about it. You think fast."

"Thanks, but flattery will get you nowhere."

"Not even an expensive coffin compared to a moldy one?"



"There is no way you are ever going into a moldy coffin. You would go moldy too – and that is just… a bad image."

"So then what would you do with me?"


"Keep me in your closet?"


"Perhaps lay me in your bathtub?"

"No. In your dreams."

"Sorry. I won't be dead in my dreams."


"What are you laughing about? Is my brutal and cruel death amusing to you?"

"Stop looking at me like that. You know I would never laugh if you would die."

"Would you cry?"

"Stop those damn puppy eyes. And… I might cry if you would die."

"Aww, you would, Moony!! I can feel it."

"Would you not cry if I would die?"

"Don't challenge me, Moony."

"Honestly. What would you do?"

"I asked you first and you still haven't answered me."

"Don't be childish, Padfoot."

"You stop tutting."

"Would you two stop arguing? I'm reading."

"Reading, James?"

"Shut up, Sirius. It's Quidditch Weekly."

"Of course it is."

"You shut up too, Moony. Why are you talking about such a dreary thing? Stop being so serious, Sirius. It's not healthy."

"Wouldn't you be sad if I died, James?"

"Oh come on, Padfoot. Of course I'd be sad – but I don't think you'll be the first one to die. Perhaps Wormtail – he freaks out every time a spider crawls under his covers – he'll be having a heart attack when he finds a snake in his bathroom."

"If anyone is going to die it's going to be me. Maybe soon I'll tear myself apart at the next full moon."

"Don't say that, Moony."

"You guys are so touchy. It's disgusting. Like incest."

"Shut up James. Moony is not my brother – it's not incest!"

"Ta. That's what you say."


"Don't bother, Remus. He's already closed his hangings."


"So… what would you do if I die?"

"Ugh, are we back on that again?"

"I know what I would do if you would die."

"Then tell me, Padfoot. What would you do?"

"Well, first of all, I would cry. For a long time, really."

"That's sweet, Sirius."

"And then I would make sure to pray for you and mourn for you and go to your funeral and visit your grave on your death day every year. And instead of putting flowers on your grave I would put chocolate there. And I would wear white on your birthday and black on the day you died."

"You're going to make me cry, Sirius."

"You already are crying."

"That was… really nice. Would you really do that?"

"Of course I would. You would deserve it."

"You would deserve all of that too. But more."

"…So… so what would you do if I died?"

"Well… I guess you deserve an answer now."


"I would cry a lot. And… and I would regret a lot of things that I never said to you… and then I would visit your grave and I would sit by it, and I would wait for you. Because I would know that you'd always be with me. And if you still wouldn't come, then I would… I would never get married, I would never get a child, and I would never be with anyone."

"But Moony, I don't want you to stop living when I die!! Why wouldn't you want to find someone special?"

"Because… because it would be an insult to you."


"I am being honest."

"What are you talking about?"

"I… I think I need to talk to you."

"We are talking."

"No – I mean about something different."

"Alllrighttt… what is it?"

"If you died, and I would get married – I would never love her."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm in love with someone else."

"Why does that have anything to do with me? I – oh."

"I'm sorry."

"I – don't be."


"I don't plan on dying soon. I don't think you'll have to marry someone you don't love."

"What… what makes you so sure?"




"Erm – I see. So you're really not planning on dying any time soon, Padfoot?"

"Definitely not. I have other things to be doing."

"Me too."




"I'm glad that I'm not dying soon either. Putting chocolate on my grave would be a big waste of chocolate."

"Of course it is. Your precious chocolate should be saved for the living."

"Nuh uh. Not just any living."

"Hmm… me?"

"How did you guess?"

"I'm not sure. I'm very honored, Moony! You would share your chocolate with me?"

"Only if I'd be dead."

"Of course. I forgot that part. So if you're not dying shortly I won't be getting any chocolate soon…"

"No. You'll just have me."

"That's not a problem. You beat chocolate any day."

"I'm honored."

"Don't be."



AN: So, this is the second Only Dialogue I've written. Besides Proof Needed, this is now probably the ONLY only-dialogue I will be writing. It's bloody HARD not writing actions and such. I felt as though I should post a new story before - OH NO - school starts and hopefully updates WON'T slow down. :( I love all of you guys. :D