Just to prove to everyone that I havn't forgotten you, I made a preview-ish thingy of the next chapter. It's actually more like a diary entry. Still, it's something to show I've got the ideas going again.
Life is meaningless. It's not a stage, and we are not its actors. Life is a prison. It tells us when we can do something and when we can't. It tells us what we can do, and when we can do it. There are some who try to defy these rules.
They often leave and never come back.
Some people make it out of the prison alive. They become our guards. At first they swear that they will be responsible, and not abuse their power. They claim they'll help us.
And they do at first.
Then they forget where they came from. To them it becomes a rat race to the top. How many of us can they force to conform? How many of us will they lose in that process? We lose our value and become numbers. Some of us aren't even important enough to be considered numbers. We're just extras. A few of us may get lost, but no one will notice. No one will mourn for us. No one will mourn for me.
I am a person, or so I am told.
I live, I breathe, and I eat. I feel happiness sometimes. I feel sadness most of the time. I hurt, I cry, I am living misery. I want it to end.
No, I don't.
I want someone to see behind my happy mask. Someone who can tell that yes, I am a caring person, but I need to be loved and taken care of. I want to be held, I want someone to tell me it's ok to cry. I don't want someone to solve my problems. I want someone to hear them.
But I have no one. I have people who think they fill that role for me, but they don't. I test them sometimes. I show a little emotion to see how they react. I retreat from them to see who will look for me. I angle my self away and cry.
And they hardly ever notice.
Ever wish you were invisible? That's a mistake. You need to be noticed by one person. Someone.
I need to be noticed by one person. Someone.
Ta-Da! Written like a true emo kid. I think. Actuall chapters will be coming soon.
Have a safe March Break.
-Pay Backs a Bitch