Title:End of Summer
Author:Spinestalker FKA Slytherinette
Disclaimer:All Kingdom Hearts characters are used without permission of the copyright holders and no profit was made.
Warnings:Drug use, language, a serious story, sexual situations and over all delinquency of a minor.
Summary:He never knew how lost he was until he let Axel lead. AU Roxas centric AkuRoku
"You didn't have to be such a jerk about it, Roxas," Olette said with a dark frown as she replaced a book in her hand for a book in her locker, pointedly not looking at him. "Yeah, Hayner's pissed off, but I really can't blame him. You totally took Axel's side."
"Hayner was about to start a fight over something that wasn't even anything." He threw his arms in the air then elbowed a locker in a random fit of anger. The sharp pain in his elbow did little to ease his resentment. People shot him sharp looks, he just ignored them. He had expected Hayner not to be too keen to on talking to him after lunch but he had just about had to beg Olette to give him just a few seconds.
She slammed her locker shut so hard Roxas jerked in surprise before turning to him with a dagger sharp glare. "That's not what it looked like to me." Her tone was tart as she started to walk past him. Roxas groaned as rage swelled up and he turned to yell at her back.
"Well, he doesn't have to be such a brat all the time!" She didn't look back as she turned into her classroom and he felt the physical urge to flip her off. He resisted and instead hatefully rolled his eyes and turned to storm down the hall to his last period class.
Roxas spent the most the class period with his jaw locked and a glare drilling a hole into the page he was doodling on, not even pretending to look up and take notes. Half way through a doodle of a rather angry looking tree his name was called.
"Mr. Keyblade, earth to Roxas, are you even listening to what I'm saying?" He looked up at the teacher who was frowning at him over the rim of her glasses, her eyes set sternly on him. He could have lied, he probably should have, but he was so angry when he opened his mouth he didn't.
The teacher straightened her back, clearly affronted. She was about say something when the some jock type decided to speak up.
"Roxas is ragging, give him a tampon and he'll be fine."
"Heard the thrift store is having a sale, bet he's daydreaming about his next loser outfit," the girl next to him snorted. Most of the class laughed and had Roxas had a gun he would have shot them without hesitation. He griped his pen and honestly considered stabling the girl in the eye.
But he didn't and the teacher called the room to attention, only chastising the two who had spoken out with a "hush that" before turning back to the lesson. When class ended he got up and left, ignoring the teacher who was calling out to him to stay behind. He didn't want to deal with it, he didn't want to deal with her or Hayner or Olette. He left the school without going back to his locker. Homework could fuck off for all he cared.
And so could the fucking light bill because there was no electricity.
Roxas flipped the switch up and down furiously as though it would miraculously come on. He let out a long sigh and crossed the kitchen to the fridge. He pulled it open and when the light didn't come on he let out a frustrated groan. He wasn't even going to bother checking the breaker, he already knew; the electricity bill didn't get paid.
The elation he had felt with Axel was almost all but forgotten as rage swelled in him. He let the fridge door close and in a moment of childish anger dropped his bag of his shoulder and threw it across the kitchen. It slid across the floor and hit the wall with a thud,
Well, what a great way to end a just peachy day.
He glared at his abused backpack on the floor for a long time before he moved over to pick it up and take it to the living room. He tossed it and his coat on the floor next to the coffee table before plopping down on the couch. He put his feet on the table and stared hatefully into the empty fireplace. He should start one; at least one room could get warm since there was no longer any heat.
He closed his eyes and his mind instantly replayed what the jerks in his last period spat out. Anger welled up and he rubbed his forehead violently as if it could scrub away the thoughts. It didn't work and instead they simmered until they boiled over into a loud groan. He fell over, burrowing his face in the pillow and couch cushion.
No one used to give a shit when Hayner and he had gotten into fights before, now all of a sudden it's everyone's business? Who the hell did they even think they were? And where the hell did Olette get off making it all seem like it was his fault? Hayner had been all ready to jump into a fight over shit he didn't even know what it was about!
He was dimly aware that he wasn't placing the blame on himself or Axel.
But it wasn't their fault. Roxas was more than capable of handling Axel; he didn't need Hayner to start a fight for him.
He adjusted his head on the pillow, curling up on his side to a more comfortable position.
Then there was Axel, ever present in the back of his mind, waiting for the opportunity to take over his thought progression. Arrogant and demanding, Axel was every once a jerk but he was a jerk that made Roxas's stomach flutter. He closed his eyes tightly, images of the older boy flashing behind his eyelids.
"…on your knees, those pretty little lips wrapped around my…"
He shook his head, trying to force the image away that the memory of his words incited. The familiar tingling between his legs started up as his thoughts prodded him on. Giving a blow job was not something Roxas had ever imagined doing, but now, the thought of being on his knees in front of Axel with Axel's penis in his mouth. He groaned, scrubbing his head roughly with his hands, but the swelling in his paints didn't cease as memories from Friday drifted back. Axel had been hard in his hand, the warm flesh excited because of Roxas.
Then Hayner's voice interrupted the vision, his angry hard tone like cold water.
"What the fuck do you have to do with Axel?"
Stupid fucking Hayner. Why couldn't he have just left Axel to him? Roxas could handle Axel. Instead he had to stand up and act all macho and try and start a fight.
His mind went back to Axel, his smooth voice. Roxas felt his face flush as if he could still feel the warm breath breathe over his skin.
"I'd make an exception for you."
Roxas had STOLEN for Axel. What on earth had possessed Roxas that made him think stealing was suddenly okay because it was for Axel? He could have been caught! What if Grumpy noticed the missing cigarettes after he left and he knew it was Roxas?
"Holy fuck! Roxas! You're my hero!"
"I'd make an exception for you."
He could see Friday again, pressed against the tree, Axel's tongue on his neck. He could have done something different. He shouldn't have pushed him away the first time. Kept kissing him, rubbing. He could have initiated the touching. Got on his knees and given Axel that blowjob he wanted. He wondered what Axel would have thought about that.
"Get your shoes off the couch." Roxas jumped, startled by the voice. His mother was pulling off her coat. His irritation bubbled back up and he gave her a glare, not moving his feet.
"You didn't pay the electric bill so we don't have any electricity."
She frowned at his accusation. "We don't have any electricity because there is a broken limb down on the line outside. We don't have any phone either. I just got back from calling the Utilities Department from the neighbors."
Roxas instantly felt like an idiot. He hadn't noticed the tree limb on the line. "Sorry, I didn't know."
"I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't jump me as soon as I walk in the goddamn door and get your feet off the couch."
"Sorry." Roxas finally begrudgingly moved his feet as she grabbed his coat on the floor to lay neatly over the back of a chair with her own. She sighed deeply, looking him over. He refused to look at her though, his eyes fixed firmly on the fireplace mantel. Even though he had been the one that was wrong, he couldn't help but feel as if it were still her fault.
"Look... I'm sorry. I'm sorry about Monday, this weekend…"
He crossed his arms, not wanting to talk to her about this. It was always the same thing anyways. "Look, it's whatever. I just hate when you get so fucked up like that." She frowned and gave him a look like she was going to reprimand him for his language but seemed to let it slide.
"I know… and I'm sorry." She sat down next to him, reaching out to take his hand. He let her take it but only stared at his knee blankly. "It's just… I got to thinking about your dad and Sora and… I just. It's easier to drown myself, you know?" It was nothing he hadn't heard before. "I love you… look at me." At first he didn't and she lifted a hand to his chin to turn his face to hers. When his eyes finally met hers she repeated. "I love you."
He paused, even his breath hitched a little, before he finally spoke. "I love you, too." His voice was soft and if anyone else had been in the room they wouldn't have heard it. She smiled though and for a brief second Roxas saw his mother. Her pretty face and clear blue eyes. There were crinkles of age around her mouth and eyes but, in Roxas' opinion, they didn't take anything away.
She leaned forward, pressing her forehead to Roxas's and her arms around his shoulders. "You're all I got, you know that?" He nodded. "I need you, more than I need anything else." He looked down and nodded again.
"Why don't… you try and call Sora?" He hazard to ask. She only shifted, burying her face in his neck.
"He doesn't want anything to do with me," her muffled voice said.
"Why… Why don't you just tell him the truth?" She didn't answer, she never did. He let out a puff of air and suddenly felt irritated at Sora all over again. If Sora had of been there Roxas would have likely jumped down his throat for good measure.
But there was plenty of frustration at his mother. She never spoke of their father's sins so Sora had no reason to know the truth.
Deep down, though, Roxas blamed himself. He had been the one to tell her even though his father made him promise every time to never tell anyone about where they really went together on Sunday. It slipped out when he and his mother were on the mainland shopping for school and he saw the other woman. He had only been 6. He had no idea.
"I'm glad that I have you, Roxie." She smiled around her tearing eyes and he actually felt a pang in his chest. This time it was he that threw his arms around her in a heartfelt hug however it was more for him than her.
"I love you…" he said, no, he insisted into her neck. "I really do, I just... Why do you need that crap at all?" She only stroked his hair and for a long moment he thought she wouldn't answer.
"Maybe when you are older you'll understand."
Roxas jerked back, scowl in place. "I'm 14. I'm almost 15!" She lifted her eyebrow.
"You're hardly halfway though with 14." At his continued scowl she laughed. "Don't be so quick to grow up on me." Exasperated at his mother inarguable logic he rolled his eyes and let himself fall back onto the couch. "Why don't you get a fire going."
"Because I didn't want to." He put his feet back on the coffee table only to have his knees slapped in reprimand.
"That wasn't a question."
Post orgasmic satisfaction had a way of clearing Roxas' mind as the languor of his body soothed his thoughts. He tossed his semen covered shirt to the general direction of the corner where he put his dirty cloths, making a mental note to do laundry tomorrow but it was quickly forgotten as he took a deep breath and slowly exhaled.
Well, that was fun.
He studied the ceiling with detached interest, the moonlight giving it an unnatural blue glow. He could make out the raised ridges in the stucco, making the random pattern look like waves breaking the agitated surface of the sea.
It was in this surreal yet clarifying moment that he realized he had never been normal. It was a silent understanding and it was something he had always accepted.
He ran his fingers over the smooth skin on his belly idly, feeling the soft hair react to the movement of the touch.
Axel. Roxas had came remembering Axel's words from earlier in that day, visioning being on his knees in front of the other boy. He had touched his own erection as if he could somehow relate how it would feel to have Axel's in his mouth.
This crush on Axel was destructive. It was already wedging a hole between him and his friends and they didn't even know everything. Tomorrow he would have to beg Hayner to talk to him though had no idea what he was actually going to say.
Why couldn't he have gotten involved with someone else? Why did, of all the people in their school, he have to want Axel? Why not Naminé?
There was a moment of paused thought before he sighed into the darkness. He knew the answer but refused to acknowledge it.
What he needed to do was start dating Naminé. He jerked his covers over himself and rolled to his belly, suddenly aggravated with himself. Axel was a weirdo who smoked too much and had a loud mouth. Naminé was soft and pretty and…
He groaned, grabbing a pillow to cover his head as if it would muffle his thoughts.
He was supposed to have tutored her earlier. He had genuinely intended to meet her but he had been in such a rush to get away from everyone he had forgotten all about her. Feeling like a jerk he held the pillow harder to his face in an attempt to hide from his own self hate.
Note: There is absolutely no excuse for my lameness in taking far to long to get this to you. It's been sitting on my computer in a folder all "finish me" and looking pitiful and I have ignored it. At a little less then 2.5k words, it really isn't worth posting for something that has waited so long to come out but for the life of me I can't foresee the next good break in chapters between this and the next part.
This is my humble offering and I beg you forgive me. I'm so grateful for everyone's reviews and I apologize that this has not been looked at for errors, though I did my best. I'm sure I will see plenty of them after post this. Plan on going back and fixing a few stupid errors that I seem to have missed in the other chapters as well as page break screwups. While I would like to tell you that I will have another chapter soon, I will not post it till I have 4k words at the very least.