Title: Downhill
Author: Ana
Challenge: The Album Challenge
Challenger: morlockiness
Rating: G, I think
Timeline: Post-X2
Summary: Kitty finds a letter just after X2.
Disclaimer: I don't own Kitty Pryde or St. John Allerdyce. I don't own X-Men. I don't own Yellowcard.
Author's Note: Written to "Way Away" by Yellowcard. Here are the lyrics.
WARNINGS: Well, it's really short and it's really sad.


Kitty hadn't been able to help the tears that fell down her cheeks when Bobby and Rogue had returned, but that had been nothing compared to the sobs that currently wracked her body. Her face glistened in the pale light of her desk lamp, and her vision was so blurry she could barely see anything around her. The tears dripped from her nose and chin onto the thick paper once covered with legible ink, but that had been partially washed away by her tears. That didn't really matter, though, because she had already memorized the letter by heart.


I guess I should tell you before I do this. You probably won't find this for a little while, and, by then, it'll have been too late. I don't know how or when, but I want you to know that I'm leaving the mansion. This place is suffocating me. I can hardly breathe. I have to admit that this place scares me—not the conventional scared, but all the constrictions are too much. There's just nothing left for me here.

Since you won't be able to tell me I'm being rash and stupid by the time you read this, I guess I should admit that I am being rash—and probably a little stupid, too. I know this could all get screwed up and go downhill, but, for some reason, I'm not afraid of the outside world. While the mansion has all of its protection, there's a certain freedom to the big bad world that the mansion doesn't have.

Even if I could see you when you read this, I wouldn't want you to blame yourself for this. My leaving has nothing to do with you. Don't be stupid. You wouldn't be able to stop me, even if I had told you this face to face. Honestly, that's the exact reason I wrote you a letter. I didn't want you to see me go. You wouldn't have been able to stop me.

I'm sorry, but you're just holding me down.


She had found the letter inside her pillowcase, only noticing it from the crinkle sound the came whenever she had put her head down to try to sleep. When she had first seen his messy scrawl, she had been tempted to throw it away in a small bout of rage but had decided to read it instead. However, this anger easily returned after reading it twice over, and she forced herself to tear it to shreds and toss the remnants of his writing to her bedroom floor, allowing his haunting memory to circulate throughout the room, only causing her more agony in his wake.