Disclaimer: I do not own any part of Digimon. I'm just… ah… borrowing the characters for a little bit.
Let Me Dance
Four years seems like such a long time in my mind. Yet time is still an amazing thing; despite the long stretches of periods, which to some people seem to take forever to pass, to me it felt like it were only yesterday that I last faced such a dilemma.
The nerve of him, standing there in front of me, telling me what I should do and what I shouldn't. I know he's trying to protect me, and I completely respect that, but I wish he didn't have to be so bossy and controlling.
Yet again, you could argue that it was part of who he was; stubborn to the core.
I suppose you could argue that he rubbed off on me.
He still speaks to me like I'm a child sometimes, and I won't deny, I find it offensive. He can hurt sometimes, like when he slapped me when I was a mere child of seven, knocking me to the floor, because I refused to do what he wanted me to do. I had cried for what felt like hours.
I never understood him then, due to being so young and naïve, but I know why he does it now; it's because he cares. It's because he loves me… because I'm his baby sister.
I glare, the strong sense of déjà vu consuming me, as all of a sudden, despite how much I've grown in four years, I've been reverted into that small girl of seven once again, with my older brother laying down the law for my own safety.
"The answer's no!" he said firmly, raising his voice like he does every time he finds himself gaining anger. He glares at me with blue-grey eyes, and I glare back, staring him out, determined not to show any signs of weakness.
Sometimes he does not know the difference between trying to protect me from harm, and trying to chain me to childhood. I'm no longer the little girl who plays with her dolls, fascinated. I'm no longer the child who dresses up her friends, and treats them like her toys. I'm not that person anymore. He, however, fails to understand that.
"I'm not a baby, Henry," I told him softly, my eyes narrowed to try and emphasise a point. He looks at me, determined; of course, he always has to be right. He's the big brother, intelligent, experienced and wiser; I'm just the little sister, who has so much to learn, who is slightly more insignificant, hence I must learn from him.
The glaring match continues between us for what felt like hours, but I know my brother. He won't give in without a fight. After all, the big brother supposedly knows best, at least in his own mind. He had learnt that from our other siblings, who are both older than he.
"It's dangerous," he began again, lowering his tone of voice slightly; at least he's reasonable enough to talk to me like an adult now, "I can't let you."
I wanted to laugh at his ludicrous way of words. I wanted to scream in frustration at his unfairness. I wanted to cry and beg him to let me go, to let me make my own choices, much like he had tried to make his when he was my age. Yet despite all my emotions, I still understood, vaguely, why he did not want me to. I looked at my hands slightly, lowering my eyelids and sighing in a slightly sad manner.
"I'm eleven years old, Henry," I began, making sure to tread carefully; I did not desire my brother to raise his voice again, "Nearly twelve, in fact."
"I'm aware of your age, Suzie," he told me coldly, clenching his fists in determination; he wanted to win this war of words as much as I did, "But it doesn't change the fact that –"
"I know it'll be dangerous!" I continued, cutting him off of his speech before he could once again remind me of the dangers of what I was about to do, "But I'll have Lopmon with me, and Ai, and Mako…"
He glares at me more, but his eyes are losing their will to fight; I can see it clearly. It is surprising how much one can read a person's emotions simply by looking into their eyes and observing. Something stirred within them, and, surprisingly, he smiled.
"You're more like me than I thought was possible," he admitted, grinning at me softly. His fists had unclenched, and he was looking at me with the distinct look of pride. I could feel some tension within me that I had not noticed before loosen; it looked like, for the first time ever, I had beaten him.
He took a deep breath before continuing, "I was stubborn when it came to going to the Digital World. You didn't hear the conversation I had with dad about it; he was reluctant to let me go. But I… I got through to him eventually. I didn't give up; because I knew I had to go."
I nodded, a soft smile on my face rivalling his; it was one of the few rivalries we had where we did not constantly try to beat each other, "This is why I have to go…" I told him softly, trying my hardest to get him to understand, feeling tears threatening to run down my cheeks.
"I…" he began slowly; his eyes breaking away from contact with mine, fiddling with his school shirt, "I can't pretend I don't like this."
"I didn't say you had to like it," I said, before thinking about my words quickly, and trying to make things sound friendlier, "But… I'm a big girl. You… you have to let me go."
I can tell that he wishes he could go too, but he knows he cannot, due to the pressures of his ordinary life and the fact that he knew, like I did, that only I, along with Ai and Mako, could do this. He looks at me sadly, with that longing look in his eyes, and smiles softly, clearly trying to hold back tears.
"I wish things would be like they used to be sometimes," he mumbles; I had to strain my ears to catch what he was saying, "Sometimes I get so wound up in believing you're still the sweet little girl who used to always dress up Terriermon… I forget how grown up you are now."
I said nothing, letting him get his thoughts off of his chest. He looks away again, finding interest in his shoes, which were a black colour though matted with dirt stains, "It felt like that was the only ordinary thing I had left in my life."
I smile at him, stepping forward and grabbing his hands gently, forcing him to look at me once more, "Define 'ordinary'."
He grins reluctantly, something stirring in his blue-grey eyes, and he chuckles gently, causing a wave of relief to once more wash over me.
Grinning widely at me, he said, "Good point."
The next thing I know, he's pulled me closer, hugging me close to him, running his hands through my shoulder-length brown hair. Something inside of me felt soothed and relaxed, almost as if I were once again seven years old, being held and comforted when Lopmon disappeared. A mutual understanding passed between us, and I knew in that instant, the words he was about to utter before he uttered them.
"Please be careful, Suzie."
Tears stung my eyes, and I nodded into his shoulder slowly, holding him closer, "I promise I will."
I fancied taking a huge break from Sonic, since I'm not really into him anymore anyway. Digimon was a huge love of mine when I was young, and I still like it now. I wanted to write something about Suzie and Henry, since it was one sibling relationship I wanted to explore. Suzie's eleven here and Henry's fourteen.
I know it's not that good; I usually feel more confident with writing in third-person but I wanted to write it in Suzie's perspective to make it more relatable.