AN: I just love fanfics with someone giving Bella or Edward "the talk!" They are so funny! I decided I'll try... Takes place sometime after Edward and Bella are engaged.
Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or its characters
Great. Bella was gone with Alice and Rosalie for a whole day to shop for our wedding. I was alone except for Emmett. Carlisle was at work. Jasper and Esme were hunting. I was sitting in my room listening to a CD.
I was sitting in my room listening to a CD, but Emmett wanted to talk to me, and the way he was blocking his thoughts was never good.
"Hey, Edward. So...I need to talk to you," Emmett said to me, still outside of my room. "Can I come in?" I sighed and opened the door.
Emmett got in my room and closed the door, grinning. This was not good. Not good at all. "What do you want to talk to me about?"
"Well, you know how you and Bella are getting married?" Emmett started.
"I should. It's my wedding."
"So, since you're so close to Bella and everything, have you ever..." Emmett started saying, finishing the rest in his thoughts.
"No! Emmett! Just because you and Rosalie have sex every minute of the day doesn't mean I have to!" I shouted at him.
"What does Bella want?"
"What...do you mean?" I asked, guarded.
"Well, just because you are a prude doesn't mean Bella is. I mean, she could be begging for you two to do that just not want to tell you."
"So? I could hurt her."
Emmett laughed. "Wow. You must suck at having sex if you hurt people while doing it."
If I could have turned red, I would have. I needed to get back at him. I settled for punching him in the face, sending him flying accross the room.
"I wouldn't know," I said.
Emmett laughed again and stood up. "So, since this is a delicate subject for you, I think we should discuss it sooner rather than later. Edward, Bella's a human. Being a human doesn't restrict you from having sex and neither does being a vampire. So, why not go for it?"
"First of all, I won't 'go for it.' Second, you are completely disgusting. Third, Bella's too fragile." I could tell by looking at Emmett that he was glad I was cooperating.
"Oh, come on. You know you want to. Now, if Bella is the issue, I could help her want to have sex with you. If you're the issue, than..." He trailed off, blocking his thoughts. I didn't want to know what he was thinking.
"What do you want? For me to rape her when I go to her house tonight?" I asked, trying not to flinch when I said that.
"No. But if there are no other options..."
"Emmett," I said, warning him with my voice.
"Fine, but at least try to ask her or something."
"You want me to go up to my soon to be wife and ask, 'Do you want to have sex with me?'"
"You could. It would't hurt," Emmett responded as if I was serious.
"No, Emmett. I am not going to have sex with her," I said. "At least not when she's human," I added on, regretting it.
"Ha! So you do want to have sex with her! Tell me once you've lost your virginity." Yep. I regretted it.
"Emmett. End of discussion," I said forcefully. I didn't want to be even more emabarassed.
"Okay. Have fun tonight," he added suggestively. I sighed and pushed him out of my room and closed the door.
So? What do you think? I'm thinking about writing a sequal and I probably will. I can't just end it with this coversation. Rosalie and Alice need to talk to Bella also, and she needs to seduce Edward into changing his mind. I'm going to have a lot of fun! Please review.