Disclaimer: I own a cheese sandwich. Does that count?
This is rated T for Tenten's oh-so colorful language.
Chili's and Chocolate
By Chibi Shino
Neji rolled over on his side to face his 6-mouth pregnant wife, Tenten. It was early in the morning and he was tired. Why the hell was she awake?
Neji groaned. "Yes?"
"I'm hungry." Tenten yawned. Neji eyes went wide. He knew where this was going.
"Don't say i-" He started.
"Make me something to eat." He mentally punched himself. Great. ANOTHER craving. Neji got up and went into the kitchen.
Tenten screamed. "NEJI!"
"DAMMIT WOMAN! IT'S 3 IN THE MORNING! DON'T YELL!" Neji yelled back.
"DON'T YOU YELL AT ME! YOU WANNA TRY CARRYING THIS FUCKIN BABY?! HUH?!"
"FINE! I'M SORRY! JEEZ!"
"YOU FORGOT TO ASK ME WHAT I WANT!"
"WHAT DO YOU WANT?!"
"I WANT SOME CHILI'S...AND CHOCOLATE!"
"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!"
"HELL YA I'M SERIOUS!"
"FINE! I'LL GO PREPARE THA-"
"I WANT IT IN A SPONGECAKE!" Seriously...what's up with these cravings?
Neji was at his limit. He walked calmly back to the bedroom.
"Honey...I CAN'T COOK!" Tenten sat up and glared at him.
"Then learn too...I WANT MY CHILI CHOCOLATE SPONGECAKE!"
Neji glared at her for a second, then turned around and left. He walked back to the kitchen and looked through the cook books. He finally found a recipe and started to make it. Then he realized it.
There was no eggs.
He left for a little store and walked in. It was pretty small, only 3 sections. He looked for the eggs and finally found them. He paid and went back to the house. When he came back, realized that he accidentally took a pack of gum. Police surrounded the house.
"COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!"
Neji walked out of the house. The police grabbed him and he was sent to jail for the night. Over a pack of gum. When he went back home, he realized there was no chocolate. He went to the same store and bought chocolate. He went back and as he was cooking it, he fell asleep. When he woke up, he finished it and placed it in the oven.
"I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING!" Neji's eyes went wide again.
"DON'T SAY IT!"
"I DON'T WANT IT ANYMORE!"
Neji growled but let the pie bake anyway. When it was done, he took it out and left in on the counter. Hiashi, Hinata and Hinabi came by and ate it.
Seeing the pie was gone, Neji went back upstairs and climbed into bed. Someone shook him, thinking he was asleep. He saw Tenten in front of him.
"Neji! I decided! I want that cake!"
"...Tenten...the pie is gone." Tenten face heated up.
"Neji Hyuga...I WANT THAT DAMN CAKE! GET IT FOR ME NOW!"
"..that would involve stomach pumping."
"Neji...DID YOU EAT MY CAKE?!"
"GIVE IT BACK GOD DAMMIT!" She grabbed him and shook him viciously.
"I DIDN'T EAT IT! LET ME GO!" Neji yelled. Tenten dropped him. Her eyes filled with tears.
"I-I-I'm sorry...I didn't mean to..." Tears fell down her face. "Are you mad at me?"
Neji jumped. "Mad? No! I'm not ma-"
"Good! NOW MAKE ME THE FUCKIN CAKE!"
...why did he have to marry the hardcore one?
Sorry, this is kinda random...
Well, review please!